I thought I had just been unhappy because my husband was out of work and I felt soooo much better when he got a job. Nope I didn't need couseling. Who me? Until I had a major temper tantrum as a result of:

A. Lifting a very heavy laundry basket and hurting my back and arm (I felt bad that my mom was carrying laundry for me). As a result of my previuousely broken back and arm, I get a little ouchy when I exert myself.

B. I was locked out of my own house because I forgot that my dh has the only set of keys since my MIL and SIL cleaned my house when I was ill. I know they ment well, but there are things I still can't find in my home because of this. So I had to drive to my dh's work and wait for him to drive me home. It was only ten minutes untill he was due to go home anyway.

C. My mom proceeded to go around my yard picking up trash and offering to help me clean. I know, how dare she help me clean but I feel like she has enough to do with out helping me. I mean it has been a year after the accident. I feel guilty accepting people's help I'm not an invalid.

D. To top it all off my dh in attempt to help informed me that I have tendency to minimize my pain and refuse to admit it when I am hurting. He says he can always tell when I'm in pain because I seem very angry. I have to admit he's right.

E. I snarled at my bf who's like a sister to me.

It seems like I panic and get angry when I can't do things as I did before, you know? Judging from the length of this post I was obviousely more upset than I thought.

Anyway I'll be making an appointment for therapy as soon as my dh gets his first paycheck. On second thought since that's less than two weeks away now, I think I'll just call for the appointment tommorow and schedule it for soon after he gets paid. This is rediculus.

Aren't the temper flare ups fun? Nope. I threw the mother of my hissy fits when my hubs cooked and set up my little one's pool. I reamed him like no one has gotten it before, in front of his mom. Yes, "how dare he" We knew it was just getting out of hand at that point. He never did get really upset with me. I had unleashed for some unknown reason a good while back while I was still drinking. He made the mistake of telling me to hit him to let it out. The details are very fuzzy for me, just remember doing it to the point of him holding a pillow up. I guess little ol' me wasn't expected to let loose so hard. I was horrible, and am thankful he is still around! Or more baffled.

You feel like an ass later... Yes, counseling will do some good. I am glad you will be going and hope it works out for you! I was very angry I could not do what I could before. I always seemed to manage to finally not functioning at all. I am getting through it now and actually going to get up and try to cook tonight. I am learning not to feel guilty about being a pain in the ass. I just am and that is the way it is for now. Will I ever be what I was capable of? Probably not but a happy place in the middle would be nice, and I see myself slowly getting there. I hope you get to see it too.

Pookie, well done for getting this out of you and more to the point, your own self ability to recognise that you do need counselling to help you along. Well done.

Hell yes - I know this one!!! It's so damn irritating and frustrating when you know you have found something easy, or at least, not impossible to do before, but now it is so hard. the feeling of losing independence is what makes me panic - I'm not good at asking for or accepting help either.

I think the thing we need to accept at some point is that asking for occasional help does not mean we are weak, incompetent or otherwise at fault, even if some people are mean enough to try make us feel that way.

A work in progress for this one!

I get angry at the frustration of not being able to so seemingly simple things too. And, although I am not one to shy away from asking for help, I get angry when I do ask for help and whoever I've asked treats me as if it's the simplest thing in the world and <whining> geez, why can't you just do it?