When I was down to 98lbs. (5'2"), I forced myself to eat. If I went into the kitchen, I grabbed something. A cracker, anytihing. And I drank alot of fluids. There were times that I couldn't keep anything down, but try to eat. Another thing, if you by chance get just a little bit hungry...EAT! Even if it's three in the morning! I remember many times laying in bed thinking I should be sleeping but feeling a little hungry. Especially when anxious, eating helps. Hot cocoa, ice cream, comfort food.

It's funny what you sid about the cereals. Yesterday my first meal was a quarter bowl of fruit and nut cereal dry. It did seem to kick start my apetite though and actually ate three meals for the first time in a long time.

Anthony has been kind enough to let me into the private PTSD group.
I'm going to need you guys however as it seems there is a waiting list at the mental health center. She the lady who phoned kept asking if I wanted counselling or a psych. I must of told her three times I didn't know but I would likely need both. arghhhhhhh. :fart-face In Ontario here we are all amalgamated three counties. Could be a month or more to wait. Health costs are mainly covered by gov and work combined. Meds for me are $5.00 each. pretty affordable. Kept pushing about specific dates and times too. You guys know how the timeline memory is on these meds. :cuckoo: Oh well I guess I just have to wait it out.
Going to the private forum to read up for a while. Not just snooping it's helping me realize what I already know. I definately have PTSD.
Thanks Joannag

Well we are here for you whenever you need!

A waiting list in a mental health center!!!! There's no such thing as waiting in that situation!!! WOW.

Nam, it kind of reminds me of a situation I faced a few years ago.

I've been going to counseling on and off for the last 15 years or so, but none really intense enough to get to the heart of the matter. I remember one time when I felt like I really needed to see a counselor but the insurance I had at the time required us to go through another company (Magellan Mental Health) for pre-approvals to see a counselor (yeah, go figure). I called around 4:50 pm - they closed at 5:00 - and was put on hold for about 5 minutes. By the time it was my turn, the girl who answered the phone wasn't in the mood to help me and basically said that if I didn't like the first appointment day/time she gave me, I'd have to call back the next day. Something happened during the short course of the conversation and we ended up getting disconnected and by that time it was after 5 and no one was answering the phone! My husband and I talked about how bad it would've been if I had been suicidal; that disaster of an attempt to get help would've probably put me over the edge if I was.

It amazes me how the mental health community often acts as if mental health problems only happen between 9 and 5...and they think if someone calls for an appointment, they can wait 3 or 4 weeks to get help. I don't know about anyone else on this board, but getting up the nerve to pick up the phone and actually admit I have something wrong with me to the point of needing a doctor is something that is very hard for me to do. If I have to wait 3 or 4 weeks, I probably won't keep the appointment, instead thinking how unimportant I am that I have to wait so long to be seen. I can be a very patient person with anyone but myself; if I ask for help and can't get it w/in a reasonable amount of time, I begin to climb into my pity-pot and think how unimportant I am and how unworthy of help I am.

I think what we all really need is positive reinforcement and I have to admitt that I have gotten more here in six weeks than I have in 20yrs from so called spouses(no offence, just mine) friends, coworkers, or doctors.
NOV21 is the date they gave to to come in only for a counsellor, even though I specified I wanted a psyc to tell me if my meds are correct for my types of anxiety disorders. Seems the local psych is only part time as well. We have a major medical worker shortage in southwestern Ontario.
It doesn't help when there are so many devious people against you and favoring the ex or soon to be ex. You girls will know what I mean by this.
The head games they are plotting and carrying out is whats really crazy.
I have found out what is truly going on and now I'm just sooooo pissed off and ready to fight it out to the end right now. I truly think they are trying to drive me to the nut house, then hubby can swoop in while I'm gone and sell everything. I must be getting better, hitting the anger stage. An know I m not just paranoid even though I should be.
I guess that means the meds are finally just about sunk in. Eating again, feeling hungry, just the sleep thing now and I'm really against lorazepam(ativan) right now. Definately was not working for me. Hence my car accident,Paxils are though.
Back to work next week and it looks like I am walking, or hitchhiking. It's going to be a lonnng walk every day. Especially with the snow arriving as I speak. Have to try to find a carpool at work. Anyway didn't man to turn this into a rant. I may cancell the appointment, everything they teach is available online. True friends and family however few are here and you guys and gals of course.
Yes we are all worthy of dignity, respect, honesty, and trust.
Take care for now bubble bath time. Have a good night.

g'night :)


What are you taking lorazepam for?
It sedates you, and 'causes you to feel lazy

I don't know how the health system in Ontario is...
but here in Alberta... I just walked into the pysch ward at the local university hospital.

They saw the just how severe I was, and after filling out the forms, I was seen by a therapist within 5 minutes.
After a quick evaluation, I was told to come back at a certain time later that day.

When I came back, the therapist had set up an appointment with the psychiatrist he works with, and they immediatly reviewed and adjusted my meds.

I now see that counselor every week, and he makes psych appointments as needed.

Orginally I had been referred to a psych at that same hospital by my family doctor.
I was told the earliest appointment available was 3 months away!!!
Funny thing is... I was already seeing my counselor at the hospital at least a month before my "scheduled" appointment!!

Maybe if you walk into a clinic first thing in the morning, you can sign up on the "walk-in" list.
Go early though, the list usually fills up fast!
Just tell them you would like to talk to someone (counsellor) today.
They have a certain amount of "walk-ins" they allow a day, so if you can't get an ealier appointment, just go and explain your situation

Yes I could go 90min away and admitt mysel if the crisis gets too severe.
It won't change the situation at home however. It is becoming war of the roses here. I extended my sick leave twice with my doc now. She won't do it again however. Told me to get my s*** together and get out of relationship I am in. The flashbacks are less intrusive with paxils. The lorazepams cause me too much confusion, memory loss an no motivation to do anything at all, except sleep. A temporary solution which did it's job too well. Also made me really crave the beer. maybe just me I don't know.
I also have read online that in PTSD and depression conbined that the Psyc's found benzo's did not work in a lo of cases. Can't remember the link at this moment sorry
I finally got my story online here. It's working now I will post the link in the trauma diaries for you all.
Hubbies hiding in motorhome in barn and after yesterdays episode I think he can stay there permanently. I am so sick of verbal attacks and false assumptions. I just will not even try to explain myself to these people anymore. They have already made up there minds and unfortuntely there is nothing I can do except stand guard over what I have left. This makes the counsellor solution unprobable at this point. Small town, small minded hics.
Not born here don't fit in mentallities. I finally fell asleep around 3:30 I had power out three times due to winters first full blast last night,ice rain ect.
I was disconnected in the middle of downloads, posts, research ect.
Mustget food into me that's all for now.

sorry about the spelling my keyboard is wearing out. Ready for a replacement