Holy shit Sue... I hope you feel a hell of a lot better now! That is a whole lot to happen to a person in such a short period. You are certainly one very tough and strong person, because your still here to tell the story. Congratulations and you really should be patting yourself on the back daily, just for fighting this.

I tell you what though, your awfully forgiving to still say you would take your husband back after what he has done. I have had a few offers from women whilst being married, and though I had plenty of opportunity to take them up on their offers, I still said no, and that I could only be their friend, nothing more, nothing less, as I am married, and do love my wife very much. Cheating is one thing I don't condone, and once you step over that line, a person has made their choice. I am certainly not a forgiving as you, thats for sure.

You are in the right place. This forums aim is exactly as you have depicted... in that its not about sympathy, but resolution, help, a place to get things off your chest and feel better within yourself, and the knowing that everyone here supports one another with the same daily struggles.

Your not alone. The only thing that differs between us all, is generally the way in which we got PTSD. The now daily struggles and problems are all shared together. Individual traumas need to be hit head on, and not stepped around if we are ever going to live some sort of semi-normal life with our health intact. What most people forget, or simply have not thought about, is that the symptoms of PTSD have a rather large impact on our actual general health, in that when stressed and anxious our heart and other organs work in over-time, thus possibly reducing our life spam, or making us prolonged for heart attack, or weight can go on when depressed, and stripped when stressed and anxious, our brains are hyper vigilant, working many times more than a person without PTSD, etc etc. You need to take care of you first, that is priority, if you want to help yourself gain control of your PTSD.

Even with the terrible time you have endured, you sound fairly good considering, which is a really positive outlook. I say congratulation again, for beating what you have already suffered, and choosing to fight past these life problems. The grass is greener on the other side, and your life will improve by fighting PTSD.

Sue,

What can I say? I read your post earlier today but found that words escaped me, which if you knew me, you would find hard to believe. Like Anthony and I keep saying to one another, you think you have seen or heard the worst it can possibly get AND then there is more. What a courageous woman you are. I can't begin to imagine how rough the last couple of years have been for you - let alone your start to life. I can only hope things look better for you soon and that of some the support you need can be found here. Take good care of you, talk here as often as you need to.

Life is a struggle. I had been doing so good but the ex came over today and he upset me so much that I went out and got drunk. I so much wish we could get everything settled but he is still running from everything. He did the same thing when we were together. He says he wants to move on but he will not settle the debts. He expects me to settle everything. I am so frustrated.

Sue,

What is your ex coming over to visit for? If you are trying to heal your wounds it would almost be impossible if he keeps coming to visit to reopen them again. I feel for you. It sounds like you are trying to pick up the pieces and move on but he hasn't got to that point yet. I acknowledge that it must be hard on him too but your healing has to start with you. He created his own situation and if it is not to his liking then he is the only one that can fix that. It is hardest for women I think, as we tend because of our nature to want to help people.

As for not settling the debts.........why would he? It is one way of tying you to him and holding you back from healing. If he was keen to heal himself and 'move on' then he would get off his butt and do just that. Perhaps it frightens him to see you courageously battling on when he is just not willing to. What he is saying to you is at odds with his actions. Anyhow, is there a way of doing some sort of debt consolidation that makes him legally take responsibility for his part of the debts? Or would it be better for you to consolidate the debts pay out what you can and move on?

I am sorry to be so blunt but really blunt is the only thing that works with most people and PTSD.

He came over to pick up somethings. I wanted to talk to him about a lot of things. I still love my husband. I know for most this is hard to understand as he had an affair and is living with this woman because I kicked him out. He and I are not at a place right now where we can talk to one another because we both have unresolved anger in our hearts. I went to my son's grave on Sunday and my mother in-law was there. We had a great talk about things and afterwards I felt alot better. I know I need to heal me before I can even look at my husband and I's relationship. I am going through EA's 12 step program and it has made me realize that I have a lot of amends to make to many people including my husband. I treated him unfairly and due to that treatement he turned to another woman. I cannot repair the damage until I repair me and that is going to take time.

Thanks, Kerrie
Take care.