Wow, that would explain so much of what goes on in Kim's mind. I'll hear her try and relate a story to someone and think to myself the same as you, "..that didn't happen like that!" Now I can see why/how some of that is happeining. Also, it could explain the whole memory thing. That is an issue that really tears at Kim, her forgetting things that she had recently been told.

Thanks for sharing, you have brought me one step closer to understanding this deamon that has my loved one so wrapped up!

Hi Warren

Memory? Hubby & I joke that it's a goldfish memory. I have to admit my memory isn't that good at times either!LOL!

I know that some days my mind is going 100miles an hour just working out how to help/deal with hubby if it's a bad day.

After reading hubby's diary for him, I wonder how he can function through the day with all that extra crap that wants to try & consume his thoughts. At least we have the luxury of being able to control our thought patterns (sometimes).
Imagine how hard it must be not to be able to control that deamon while your trying to put on a brave face for the rest of the world just so they can feel comfortable around you. I take my hat off to my man everyday just to be able to try & do that just so he can be in my life. That is truly a loving gift that he gives me.

Jods, what a beautiful way to look at it. And what a noble way to put it. It is so easy to forget what is going on behind their loving eyes. It is also very beautiful reading the words you choose when describing your husband. He is so lucky to have someone like you at his side. And his choices when dealing with PTSD sound very determined and focused. You two keep it up, sounds like you have found the right combination in dealing with this terrible disorder.

:claps:

Jods you really have the right attitude to make it work! My hubs has moments where he can't take it anymore, but they are short lived. He is truly selfless as a whole and that seems to be what it takes to get going down the right path once we are actively addressing the issues. Ignoring them and not trying to get better is another thing. But my husband is now looking at the long run and our future, not how I act today working through it. And yes, at the moment I may not be more than an emotional leech on him and not giving back, but I think he knows, I try to let him know, I am grateful and don't mean to be. The only thing I can do is work through this and get to a better place so I can give back . But the process is slow and long and it is all take on my end from him.

Look at it like an investment. It may not do anything for you now, but in the long run it will pay off big to have a somewhat normal person around that can return the love again once it is sorted out. Someone a lot closer to who they were before and that can/wants to do things again. And I know I can never repay him for all the crap he has dealt with. And it took a while before I saw how much crap I gave him. Now we both know I give crap all the time but at least I am working to get to a good place in myself so I can be good to him again (not medicated good either, which will be new), and he wants me there because he loves me. He is willing to wait it out and help me where he can until I get there. Y'all do a lot. Don't think we don't know, we do and are grateful when you are there catching us.

Thanks Warren & Veiled

I'll admit I'm not perfect & can be a selfish cow at times & think that some days are just too hard. It's on those days when you see the lost look in your loved ones eyes, how can you not want to stand beside them & help them fight this.
I know my hubby will never be the same & I've grieved for that man he once was. I know he loves me & he tells me everyday. I don't mind being his rock at the moment because I know that if the tables were turned, he would be there for me. Isn't that what you do when you love someone?!?

Funny about the goldfish memory (7 seconds), is that Kerrie used to ensure I never forgot it; now Kerrie has the goldfish memory being pregnant. Amazing how things always come back around.... he he he

mmmm I'm not pregnant so whats my excuse?!LOL! Must have given my memory to my little guy. He's got a good memory & can remember things I've forgotten about. Ahhh kids, gotta love them!

Jods,

My Mum reckons that once you have one baby, your memory never really comes back. My excuse was pregnancy, breastfeeding (he was sucking all of the smarts out of me), pregnancy again and you guessed it breastfeeding will be next. Then I think I will resort to my Mums theory.

Its a control mechanism D4N. PTSD or not I don't think there is an excuse for being so hurtful. Words hurt, just as much, if not more than fists. As far as I am concerned if you have that much inner turmoil, anger, frustration, whatever ......go for a walk, punch a punching bag.......don't take it out on those closest to you. We are all guilty of venting inappropriately at our loved ones, some more than others, but there comes a point when it is not venting anymore but abuse. This is a very nasty and vindictive weapon.