I was doing so good last week. I knew the weekend would be a task, but not really sure how bad. Warning I am drinking at the moment so head is like scambled eggs. Missed work today and ready to quit. Told yesterday I was a slut and pretty much open legs for anybody. male or female. Then 2 4 shoved into room for me to drink.
I am ready to stay in my safe room forever at the moment and hubs is over at moterhome again:angry-fla I am similar to veiled in that yes I will drink that case of beer since hubs left again. Hell the rumours are my life so what I do at home doesn't matter now. One of my closest friends has even been hinting I like his bisexual wife.....better than him.

Scambled eggs as I said

If I stay in my room they can't attack me here.
I am going to lose my job over this.
Missed today as hubs is now my driver and made sure I missed work today. Woke up 11 a little late to call in sick. Anthony please kick my ass

Joanna, Joanna,... Joanna...
I don't think you need a kick in the ass...
You've already gotten enough crap from whoever is calling you a slut.
Please don't tell me it's hubby!

I don't blame you for taking the liqour and drinking,
if it was "shoved" into your room while you were emotional... well, I'm sure I would've taken a shot or two in that situation!

Rumours are brutal... but honestly...if a person is going to be spreading rumours about you... are they really your friend?
After basically losing every single friend... I've learned that they weren't true friends...
they really didn't care about me... so I decided not to care about them, or what they think.

It's so easy to hide... I do it all the time.
But there is the point where we are going to need to crawl out of our "safe haven"... we can't stay there forever... what kind of life would that be??

Darn, I hope I'm not rambling... I've had a beer or two. (Don't worry, I don't drink often!)

Hope you start feeling better Joanna
Y&A

About your job?
That really sucks Joanna!

You just started that job last week, which could make your employeer uneasy about you taking a "sick day" this soon.
Did you explain to your boss about your "disability" before you started your job?

And you know what? If worst comes to worst... and you do end up losing your job? It's not that big of a deal!
You can always get a new job, try again!
Think of this as a learning experience.
Obviously working part-time (rather than full-time) would be a much better idea.

Y&A

I just can't handle It. am totally alone in this shit.
I am just done.

Joanna, others words have nothing to do with ourselves. We interpret for ourselves what we want to believe, its called self esteem. Yours is beaten and battered at the moment, something we must improve for your own self issues. Having confidence in yourself means that when someone calls you a slut, then that is their opinion, and instead of falling into a hole like this, it means nothing too you, because your self esteem is stronger than their words, reinforcing to yourself that your not a slut, and a much better person than yourself.

Lets face it, what is a slut? Is it someone who sleeps with others on a one night stand once a week? Twice a week? If slut is referred to the female, then what does that make most males? Much worse I would be guessing!

A person who often is calling another a name, has emotions behind those name callings, more that they are jealous of you, frightened of you, or scared that you could take their partner from them. That is generally why people get to the name calling level.

Stand tall Joanna. None of those people had to fight what you are battling right now. Tomorrow is a new day and a new start. You're not alone. You can do it.

Like Nam said Joanna, tomorrow is a new start.

Today still fighting. I missed work today of my own accord. One more day and I do not have a job. Hubs screaming at me to shut the f*** up ect.... Told him we'll see what I am worth with no job. Also told him I'll leave house when I am no longer considered a Lying drunken slut. He doesn't want to deal than put a for sale sign on the front lawn.

I knew I wasn't ready to go back to work. I will call in a leave of absence tommorrow. No pay but will give me time to deal and heal. I won't lose job over it as well. Hubs can f*** off after this weekend. Cannot and will not depend on him anymore.