Nov sounds like my mom... Sorry.

Turned against myself and allowed some men to take from me WTF they wanted so as to end the f'n harrassment and to finally accept others belief, that had long since been shoved down my throat, and was being communicated to me over and over and over, that I was suppose to be here on this earth as an object, something to please lonely-hearts, and satisfy aggressions, and in turn I'd be forgiven for my yrs. of rebelliousness and strong conviction that I thought I was someone special, a young lady with brains, and dreams for a life and skills and Love to offer someone special. As I always thought I was suppose to have the choice in who that someone special would be.

Turned against myself and neglected myself, ie. medical conditions, gen. health, mental and emot. well-being, education, and dreams, all in order to punish myself, and be right about what I was increasingly becoming convinced of that I deserved the same shit and settling for less as FOO.

Turned on myself and ended up believing many, many of the bullsh*t lies that others seemed to struggle and fight to convince me of very early, and over all the yrs..........endless lies. Came the time that the lies I told myself and believed were enough to keep me down for good, never mind the others and all their manipulative BS.

I am going to put this here, and many women may not like it, but I think I showed control...

I have hit a women once in my life, and only once. Why? We where at the pub on base on Friday afternoon, and this private soldier wanted to sleep with me. She had slept with many of my mates, some of whom where married, and I was married at the time in actual fact. Anyway, I said no and kept drinking with the boys. Anyway, this woman (about 20 I think she was) come over and asked me outright if I would go home with her. I said no, so she slapped me across the face. Told her to pissoff, and she did. About half an hour later, same thing happened. This went on a few times, about 4 if I remember correctly, where she slapped me across the face as hard as she could, just because she was drunk and thought she could get me to sleep with her, as many had done before.

I got the shits with it all, and went outside to phone a cab and take me home. Waiting for the cab, she come outside, asked me if we were leaving now, I said no, I am going home. She punched me in the face this time... enough was enough. I didn't even think, just smacked her in the mouth and knocked her out. She lay on the ground and these other people who saw her there came over, and then it was about to break out into an all in brawl, but another mate came out, and his girlfriend, saw what was going on, saw her laying on the ground, and told these others what had happened all night. They left it at that, so did I. She got picked up and taken home...

She apologised the next day, I didn't. I didn't feel one bit guilty for punching her back after the shit she had done to me that night. Guys are not always the abusers... just made out that way. She provoked me all night, I ended up walking away, she followed and continued. I hit her, she hit the ground. I wasn't sorry, and still to this day not sorry. I gave her ample chances to leave me alone and she was told enough times, but didn't. She played on my nature, when I told her I don't hit women. Well, she got me too... and she didn't enjoy it one bit. To this day, I still don't like her, and she never came near me again after that.

Anthony,

If it's any consolation to you (and this is just my opinion), when a woman hits first, and in your case, repeatedly, then she loses the protection 'being a woman'. I've had conversations with other men about this and the general opinion was if you're going to act like a man (hit first), you're going to be treated like a man.

BTW-I admire your restraint. I wouldn't have lasted through four slaps before I came unglued.

Agrees with Marlene.

She hit you four times, you hit her once. Seems fair.

Would have been upset if you hadn't have been provoked, but heh. If anyone came up and hit me, male or female, I think it's doubtful I'd keep it together after first contact.

Hell, I know I haven't, and it doesn't even have to be more then a shove.

Anthony, glad you shared this. Effective and makes perfect sense to smack her in the face and knock her out. Not saying this with any sarcasm either, as I'm dead serious. My God, she thought she was going to make you do something you didn't want to do and she physically assaulted you more than once and would have used you, if she had her way. Sick! I personally can't stand this type of sexual harrassment, highly triggered by it.

Sounds to me anthony, like this admission of bad shit belongs on her list, not yours. Call me twisted, but I really don't believe so. You did something I admire, you continued through all her BS to hold yourself in enough regard to protect yourself. And, if she gets slapped in the face, even knocked out in this process, well then good for you and for her. Perhaps, she's a hell'a'va lot less apt to pull the same shit again. You might have influenced, saving her life too. It might have been good luck on her behalf, bc who knows what.

I only wish that I knew in prior yrs. that it was really o.k. to do this. I call it self-preservation at it's best. I was so full of unwarrented guilt, and truly niaeve that I began to think what I thought was my rights were in fact not my rights. I never really made it into the big world, lived much of my life on the outside looking in, alone and isolated.

At times, but only at times, I was the type of person who was without a defense against non-stop sexual harrassment. The limited men I spoke of were members of AA. If my daughter grew up and told me she needed AA, I would seriously influence her not to go. She'd simply have to find another way to find sobriety. Brand new to AA and quite young, I once had an ugly ass' woman during the holding of the hands and prayer part of the meeting, look dead at me, stick her tongue out and move it in disgusting ways and say something disgusting.

Anthony, you having said, Guys are not always the abusers...just made out that way, ......and then sharing what you did, has opened my eyes some to things I just didn't know from my experience, as my experience is limited greatly. Thank you God!

Always wished I could have had an older brother to educate and inform me, step-in for me, and knock the shit out of someone that had it coming, when I didn't know how, male or female. Or, even a mother or sister that wouldn't have said and/or suggested anything other than, "Oh, who the hell do you think you're deluding yourself into imagining that you're worth anything more than us.....an object. Get it, learn it, and them come join us, you're welcome."

Now, I've just opened the doors to further discussion elsewhere.

Anyhow, anthony, you only hit a woman once, and as I see it, it shouldn't even count as once. And, you were effective in self-preservation, good for you and I'm glad she's stayed far away from you.

My boss was out sick today and I was glad he was. I didn't care how bad he felt, I was just glad I didn't have to even see him today. I actually laughed when I found out he wouldn't be there. Part of me feels like I should feel guilty for feeling this way...but I just don't give a damn.

Thanks all... I wasn't sure how that would go down really, because some females outright are just so against any male hitting a female. I pretty much am too, and I always said that if its good enough for a female to hit a male, its good enough for them to hit them back; but when I was faced with it, that was a different story. I told my then wife about it when I got home, and she just laughed and said something like, "silly bitch."

The girl actually had just stopped sleeping with a mate of mine, who was married with kids, and thought she would have a crack at me. His priorities where a bit different to mine I guess. I have done pretty poor things to women, being sleeping around on them and so forth, when I was in some of my worst in unknown PTSD, but not before, and not after. Girlfriends are one thing, wives are another I guess!

Anyway... to continue this thread, I stole a blokes car one day, took it joy riding, then down the pine forest and burnt it out.

I really don't like this one of mine.....

Had sex in a religious building. Going to hell for sure for that one.