The Sex Frog

An incredible blonde goes into her local pet shop in search of an exotic
pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The
sign on the box says: "Sex Frogs! Only $50 each! Comes with complete
instructions." The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody is
watching her. Certain that she is not being watched, she whispers to the
man behind the counter, "I'll take one of the sex frogs!"As the man
packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions."

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as
she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads
them very carefully. She does exactly what the instructions tell her:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy night-gown.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog beside you and the frog will
do what he has been trained to do.

She quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens.
The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.
She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says,
"If you have any problems, please call the store." So our blonde heroine calls the pet shop.
The man says, "I'll be right over."
Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde
welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the
instructions, but the damned frog just sits there!"

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares into its eyes and says very sternly,

"Look, I'm only going to show you how to do this once."

Bec, that one reminded me of a joke I heard a while back when I had my poultry farm... OK maybe it was funny as I am a chicken nut. Who knows?

There once was a farmer who had a few chickens. For financial reasons, the farmer wanted to increase the egg production from his chickens and go into business. And so, the farmer set out to buy a rooster. He drove across the county to another farm that had many hens and roosters.

The first farmer asks, "I'd like to buy a rooster."

The second farmer says, "No problem. What's he for?"

The first farmer says, "I want a rooster so that my hens can have more chicks and lay more eggs."

The second farmer points to a rooster, "Okay. Take that rooster over there... he'll do all your hens for you." The rooster he pointed out was lying on his back and breathing heavily.

The first farmer exclaims, "What? You've got to be kidding. That rooster is practically dead! He's breathing like there's no tomorrow."

The second farmer says, "Don't worry, he'll do fine. I guarantee he'll do all your hens and you'll end up with more chicks than you could ever imagine."

Well, the first farmer thinks about it, and finally agrees, "Okay. A guarantee is a guarantee. Sold." He scoops up the rooster and lays him in the back of his truck.

As soon as the farmer pulls into his yard, the rooster leaps out of the truck and grabs a hen. After he's done with one, he does another, and another...

The farmer says, "Take it easy! You're going to hurt yourself!"

The rooster just waves, grabs another hen, and nails that one too. He proceeds to do all the hens just as the other farmer had promised. When he finishes the hens he runs after the dog, and does him too.

The farmer is starting to get a little worried.

The rooster then does the cat, the horse, and all the other farm animals too. He then starts chasing after the farmer's wife!

Some time passes and the farmer can't find the rooster anywhere. He looks everywhere and eventually finds the poor rooster on his back, motionless, with a flock of vultures circling overhead.

The farmer cries out to himself, "Oh no! I told him to be careful! Now look what's happened."

The rooster opens one eye and whispers, "Shhh! They're about to land."

Sick Bird!!!!!!!!!!! Lol!!!!!

OK, I know joecartoon.com is listed here from way back... The frog blender thing made me go back and look. It has been updated a lot. I want to suggest for others to go there and find "monkey looker". I swear I damn near peed my pants. Hubs just shook his head at me. Now I need to remember the angry squirrel site, I loved that one.

veiled, I belive the site you seek is called....( My spelling is wrong here)

New-rot-ick-ly Yours....






Now for My errrrrrrr and I use the term very loosely *coughs seeing all the women then says*

How do You frustrate an Archiolgist?

hand Him a used tampon and ask Him what period it's from

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India ..

The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have
passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass
it you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready"

The manager said, "Make a sentence using the
words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
"Mister manager, I am ready"

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call
center for computer problems.

Kinda says it all!!!!

Attached Images

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LOL!!!!! Loved it. Thanks for the giggle first thing in the morning...

He he he Lisa.... nice.

That's exactly how they think!

I sure do miss Bloom County