A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy! "

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

1* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
2* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4* Drive carefully -- it's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
7* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8* Never buy a car you can't push.
9* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
10* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
11* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12* The second mouse gets the cheese.
13* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
15* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
16* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
17* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
18* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today

Not actually a joke, but I thought this was worth watching. For all you mom's out there.......youtube.com/watch?v=W95Y8hNQiH8

Enjoy

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ass is too fat............

10% of women think their ass is too skinny......

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world.

Divert Your Course

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No I say again, YOU divert YOUR course!

Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this vessel.

Canadians: This is the Trinity Bay Lighthouse. Your call.

Please oh please tell me this is a joke!

I believe it is a joke Veiled, however I am not absolutely certain, as many strange things do occur off our shores! I will need to ask Jim to be certain, he is up on these matters.

Hehe I don't care if it's true or not.. it's funnier than shit!

bec

LMAO!!! I trust they didn't hit the lighthouse...

Bec, you would... ----> mumbles under breath dang Canadians hee hee... LOL

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his
wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast.
Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let
such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his
drawer. "What the ?!@? is this??" he said to himself as a
little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum
powder in my underwear?"

She replied with a snicker... "It's not talcum
powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'."