This may sound weird, especially since everyone here is supportive and can relate to the PTSD symptoms I have...and yet I find myself somewhat alone. Perhaps it's because I can't really relate to anyone in terms the experiences that led to this in the first place...I guess the vets in the forum are the ones I can most closely relate to and yet our expereinces are probably vastly different...

Reallydown, I don't have the same experiences as you, but I do relate to what you're saying about feeling alone. I feel the same way, in the sense that there are not many people whose fathers do what mine did. I know there is occasionally an incident like what happened to me, but I have never met another person with my experience. I'm still hoping to, however.

I also can appreciate relating to the vets on the forum, as I come from a military family.... both my parents were in the military, my 2 uncles are also career military, and my grandfather was a career soldier who served in WW2 and Korea. I grew up around military adults almost exclusively. And I saw the effects on my father, after he came back from Kosovo especially. Now that I am no longer living on a base or around military people, I do feel quite out of place, living among civilians. I'm a civilian myself of course, was never in the military, but as third generation army brat you do feel rather different.

Anyways I don't think what you're saying is weird at all. I feel like that a lot. I wish I had something more to say, something really profound or whatever haha, but I don't, sorry. Just know that I get what you're saying.

I dont know your story or what led to your PTSD, I'm new here, but willing to listen when you need an ear to bend. Though you may feel alone, know that you are not. We are all here for you.

Thank you both; much appreciated.

Batgirl--It helps to know that you get what I'm saying; Having read what you shared, I can't even imagine what that must feel like; I admire you for being here and trying to work it out. It takes a lot of courage.

Mum--In short, I spent part of my childhood in a war zone and am having a really hard time with that now, especially seeing the news and what's going on every day--triggers, triggers everywhere...Thanks for the support. I only hope that I may be able to support you too... :)

Reallydown, I don't watch the news anymore; it bothers me, too. Nor do I buy newspapers much. Actually I find listening to the news over the radio is a bit easier, if I feel the need to know what's going on the world. At least there are no images, and usually no sound effects, either.

I go to the point even news radio was overload. Hubs borrows the car and it is on when I start it. I want to hear it, I just know what happens when I do...

RD, I know exactly what your saying. I often feel like I have on operations, when your sitting around in your farter waiting to go out or just resting from all the work just done. It is like an unrealistic void, somewhere between a dream and reality even. We call it "spaced out" "zoned out" and other things, but I often get that feeling when I feel alone, even though others are around me, I still just feel empty at times.

Its interesting really as to why this occurs.

Yea, it totally feels like being "spaced out" and completely out of touch with the rest of the world...but I guess what I was trying to say is that I sometimes feel alone here in the sense that nobody here seems to have experienced war as a civilian/child...

hey, rd, you are not alone, you are unique! nothing wrong with that. you're never going to be alone as long as we are here. i feel that estrangement from the rest of the world often myself, especially if i am out around all the businesses(gas stations, resturants, etc.) it seems so ugly and unreal, or maybe i feel unreal, who knows? that seems to be part of this ptsd.
cathy

RD, I wouldn't worry about that, because you will find someone is reading your posts that has, or someone will come here soon enough that has experienced a war zone as a civilian.

Its funny really, because even though when in the military, I actually got to see both sides of things, because sometimes we would have to go places where we just couldn't take weapons or be in uniform, so it was surreal to be in the populous of civilians, as a civilian, with no weapons or support, just fitting in with civilians to achieve other tasks.

So in a way, I do kind off know from both sides... though I was still military as such for a job.