Yeah, no kidding.. I suspected it was such a thing. I feel better today but still no omph. Spent all day hooking up a second dish.. blah still trouble shooting it.. we kept burning out disk switches.. damn things.. avoiding my trauma thread for the moment.. just to exhausted to hit it anymore right now.. wow.. can't believe how this womped me!

Bec

It was womping you as you say regardless bec, now you have just accepted what was already present... you put the finger on the problem so to speak. Instead of the problem causing you long term symptom outbreak, the problem is engaged logically now for rapid solution.

I feel guilty about not being on more. Really really really tired. Started meds again (a more consistent basis) and feel wiped. It's been hard to keep a positive outlook. Feel like this christmas break wasn't a break as a lot of stuff came up for me. Not looking forward to being with people for new year's. I have done so much visiting over the break, just want to stary home.

Slept all day. Went out last night with hubs and went in a sit down place to eat. I also went in to two stores with hubs and his parents house. Picked out movies to watch at home (theater was too big a jump). HUbs has poked me awake enough to stay on top of meds is all. Got up about 5:30 PM.

I met a guy. We sat up talking all night (totally sober)

He held me as I slept. No sex involved (that night).
Was the first night in a long while that I didn't wake feeling exhausted. I did startle awake though because of the feel of him holding me. He just talked to me, calmed me down. I told him about my PTSD but not my trauma.

New years eve however he invited me to a friends place. One of his mates (he didn't know about the PTSD- the mate that is, not Luke) set off a fire cracker behind me.
It threw me into instant panic mode. I ended up curled up sobbing in the corner. Luke came over and basically talked to me, and when I eventually let him, held me till I calmed down. All in all, it took me about 45 minutes to calm.

Funny thing is, between Friday and new years, we found out that my aunt and his mum are best friends and that he and I used to be babysat together by my grandmother when we were littlies.

Before I found this out I had made the comment that it felt like I had known him forever. Guess I really have.

Cass, that sounds great! You are opening up and letting someone in. Big congrats.

ok day, slept til like 10:00! from 2 am. 8 hrs, and no sleeping pill. might have something to do with the fact that i went to bed at 5 am the night before and still didn't sleep. the sadness keeps creeping back and forth , but so far, i can handle it, which is a new thing for me! been such a dreary, rainy day, i think i may go for a walk after while, if ican get zack to go with me. need to get out of the house, but i don't want to go anywhere. need to CLEAN my house--lazy, lazy!
cathy

I got enough energy together after a long weekend in PJ's and lots of naps to get my laundry done, do my bills, grocery shopping and I have a meatloaf in the oven. Actually, I think this is the first time I've cooked in almost two weeks. Thank goodness my family can all pitch in an cook or we'd be eating lots of soup and sandwiches for dinner.

One thing though...I don't feel the least bit guilty for being a slug all weekend. And all of those naps :sleeping: felt great!!! :-)

Had a busy crazy weekend. Went to the AA new year's dance with my family. Ended up crying on the phone till 4 am (nasty nasty nasty trigger of trauma related to AA) and almost went off the wagon. Wow, haven't been that bad in years. Kept busy today. Got lots done trying to stay sane. I am still sober. I think I'm doing well. Have to get some sleep as it's midnight and I work in the am. Talk to you all tomorrow.

Bec

Stressed with crap at work, not even work related. Not sleeping at all. Becoming a walking zombie. Had to use cough medicine with codine to get 2hours of sleep,yes it was way to much and two bottles of it.( I know anthony bad chioce).Im on edge all the time agian and starting to have issues with anger ...