Think I ran a marathon last night. Woke up early with real bad cramps in my back and legs. Still hurts now, although I've been for a gentle walk to try and ease things a bit.

Doing really bad with the weight thing too at the moment. Got to my "panic weight". I decided a while ago that I wouldn't worry too much unless I dropped to a certain weight. Never actually thought I would get to that. Went past it before I realised. Been eating healthy stuff as well as high calorie stuff (chocolate and ice-cream, bicuits etc), but still losing weight. Wish I could can whatever it is that causes the weight loss and sell it - would make millions. Side-effects are a bummer though!!!!

Weird thing is, despite all the stress at work, I've actually been feeling ok in myself, so I'm thinking I've slipped back into denial mode again!

Piglet:
Enjoy feeling good. Funny about the "panic weight". I too had one. Mine was when I started to feel lightheaded. Everyone kept saying, "How did you lose all your baby weight!??" I was so tempted to tell the truth! But you're right, the side effects are terrible!!

I'm so tired. This is how depression works for me. I think I'm "just tired", and I sleep the day away and then I take something to sleep at night. ugh! I feel like this is directly related to my skipping a few wellbutrin. (I ran out, and my prescription had to be finalized. I'm taking it now again) Today is a low motivation day to do anything. On the bright side, my hubby found contract work so our money situation should ease up a bit. It makes me feel alittle better about quitting my job four months ago.

Glad to hear your finances are getting sorted. that's also one of my big worries now that I'm part-time and having to pay out for therapy. It must be a big relief to have some of that extra pressure lifted.

I've had a pretty shit day. I managed to break a tooth today, so now I have to go to the dentists tomorrow. More expense. Apart from the fact that I have enough problems going into a hairdressers -the dentists really freaks me out - Have only been once in the last 12 years (been to the hairdressers 4 times)!

Fortunately I have good teeth. The one that broke was worked on the last time I went to the dentists, so it's not like something new. I'm hoping for a quick fix.

Am also working tonight, so at least I've got something to keep me occupied this evening. Going to be a busy day tomorrow!

Piglet, I hate the dentist too. Last year I had to go for a rotten tooth and ended up with a root canal. I waited until I couldnt' stand the pain anymore. Other than that, I don't go. It's too confining. I feel for you.

Working sucks. When there's PTSD involved, it's hard to function anywhere else. I also found that the more time off I had, the better I felt. So I finally took the plunge and quit, for good. I really don't know how others that have to work make it through. I did have to come to terms with not working and that it was okay not to be. My self worth isn't based according to how many hours I work. I say that now, but I still struggle with it.

Today is much better. I just started it though. It's only eight in the morning here. My husband said I had another nightmare this morning. Lucky for me, I don't remember. Today is a new day. I hope your day goes well. (or night, since you might be on the other side of the earth!)

Good stuff Nam. By the way, the nightmares reduce the more you learn. I don't know whether its just a cognitive thought we have, but they lessen the more you learn about PTSD for some reason. I suppose it has something to do with how our brains automatically take over with the knowledge we feed it, whether we like it or not, but mine certainly does. I have very little turbulent nights nowadays, well, not that I ever remembered anyway, but my wife would tell me in the morning. They just slowly disappear I think the further you get into healing. Heal all the major symptoms, and the rest just dwindle with them.

I went to the dentist actually the other day... bloody nice bloke too he is. I have to get a crown and couple of little touchups, otherwise all is good. I knew about the crown though... just hadn't really got around to doing anything about it.

Days are good, nothing new here on that front I guess. Been cleaning, shopping, getting out and about around the place, seeing what goes on. I am looking forward to a couple of events coming up, one being the State of Origin decider match here in Melbourne... which should have 60,000 + people... easy! Looking forward to going to that game. Been preparing myself for the crowd for the last few weeks now, so i should be good for it and after it, fingers crossed.

Glad to hear you all are pretty O.K.

I've been stressed lately and don't really know why.

Had a reasonably good day, all things considered. Feel totally drained. Am hoping that I manage to restore myself a little over the weekend because next week is the last teaching week, so I'll need all the enrgy I can get hold of. Sounds like I could do with some of what Anthony's having! Hate cleaning though!

Dentist wasn't too bad. Have to go back to get a filling replaced. Not for 2 weeks though. They asked if I wanted a scale & polish too. I said that it will be pushing it getting me to stay in that chair long enough to do the filling!

Shadow... what is coming up? Stress is not generally about what you have done, or doing, but with PTSD, generally what you know is coming up some time soon, whether in a few days, weeks or months. Anything of importance?

If not, it could just be an attack trying to break through... I get that sometimes, but just continue being active and doing things as much as possible, and it seems to keep it at bay and goes away.

Much better today. I took the whole family to the parade. The kids had a great time. They liked the drums the best. I remember sitting there and thinking that just a few years before, I wouldn't have been able to stand it!! I would have been shaking and jumping everywhere! Instead, I was groovin!

Great stuff Nam! You ever tried playing the drums? Excellent fun - bash the hell out of them and just hope you can find a rhythm somewhere!