just tired

haven't slept well really all week

Doing okay, though. Thinking of calling my mom about the dog. Not sure...

Thanks Bec,
I wish I could say I am great and all... but that would be a lie.

Basically my situation is:
* Pain clinic confirmed the nerve damage in my face (the thought that this pain may be permenant is too overwhelming to think about)
* Still recovering from the reconstructive surgery I had a couple of weeks ago.
* My back/neck/jaw/eyes/face just friggin hurts... constantly
* Student loans and bills are long overdue... and I'm not well enough to work... Poor boyfriend is working 7 days a week trying to keep up.
* Roomate is stressing the heck out of me. Not having rent on time, needing rides, borrowing money (that I can't afford to lend) and just his negative attitude. Last night he told me that he was probally going to move out next month, which is good because it means less stress... but it's bad because it means we pay the entire mortage payment.
* It snowed almost a foot last last night... and I had to drive myself to my therapists this morning... plus I still have to go to physical therapy later on today.
* Boyfriend wants to invite some work buddies over for a BBQ this weekend. I am so excited for him, because, he more then deserves a night to chill with friends. On the other hand, I'm nervous as heck, because my "safe zone" is gone and I will be in a social situation.

... I'm gonna stop there for now... otherwise I'll end up hiding in some blankets instead of going to physical therapy.


Everyroom remember to take care of yourselves!!!
Y&A

Well that is quite the list.. LOL sounds like mine the the boss yanking my chain thread!

The pain management will come, one step at a time. your jumping ahead of yourself on that! Remember, you can't mind read the docs. They will come up with something. Take each thing on your list and slow it down to one thing at a time. (LOL god, now I saying just what V told me to do) Break it down.

I am glad you answered, I was a bit worried. Wish this was more helpful.

bec

Too much shaking on this end. Head still pretty garbled... Can I just blame this crap of hormones? Dogs barked an hour ago and I still feel like I am going to come out of my skin. Daughter just called but not answering, just cannot deal with her right now.

Just got back from the shrink.. :crazy-eye boy am I exhausted. Stopped at the bookstore and picked up a few that you all have recommended.. oh yeah.. and a 'relaxation cd' .. ha ha.. I'll believe it when I hear it. I feel sad, worn out, frustrated, hopeless, angry, fed up, you name it. My employer wronged me.. or should I say 'former employer'. Bastards. The sooo contributed to this 'condition' and then threw me to the wolves when I couldn't 'perform' the way I needed to anymore. So.. my shrink has assigned me homework for this week.. yippy. My assignment is to contact an employment attorney and file a suit against my former employer. Oh joy.. I can barely get my ass out of bed these last few days, let alone have my wits about me to talk to an attorney. I guess I'll just call and he'll think I'm a freak, and whatever. I just know that this employer has a nasty history of wreaking havoc on the lives of its dedicated employees, and then turning their backs on them when it gets HOT. I dont give a rats ass if I dont see ONE RED PENNY from them.. if I can just make it so that other employees aren't subjected to what I, and so many others have been. Human Resources dept my ass. (Did I mention I was feeling angry?) but hey, for me angry is a good thing.. it keeps me from feeling weak and pathetic.. UGGH.. anyway.. I'm going to start reading and listening to my 'relaxation' stuff. God bless you all tonight.. I'm sure I'll be back tomorrow. :angry-fla

hugs veiled tight.

didn't sleep last night but at least I can kinda keep my head together a little better today.

thank you veiled, talking was what i needed. It may have been hell last night with what we discussed in chat, but now at least i don't feel so ashamed and dirty.

hye vcc,

Ask around about lawyers if you can, get a good one. (is there such a thing?)
Well anyway employers should not be allowed to "dump" you & get away with it. Hope you find a "reliable" (good grief, is that any better than "good") lawyer that will help you. Maybe you can keep this from happening to someone else in your job.. (:boxem: to the Boss) lol

Hope your day/night gets better.

D (wildcritter)

Its been a bad couple of days I just found out the Monster that Raped me as a child has moved to the city I live in and now lives 15 minutes away and has been out to visit my momand sister I dont know how much more I am expected to take as well work was really awful today

Hey Bec, I didn't mean to 'cause any concern.
My days are consumed with "working out issues"
Slowly I've been knocking items off of my 'list'... just takes time and I'm just tired of waiting.

Every day I have to use pain management techniques, it's has become a part of my life.
The two year anniversary is coming up in 2 months... I'm sure this isn't helping either, lol

Aughhhh....

I don't mean to sound negative or anything,
it's just that in 'real life', when asked 'how I'm doing?'
I always respond with 'I'm OK, and yourself?'
When you asked... I knew if I was going to give an honest answer anywhere... it'd be here

Take my concern and run with it girl! LOL.. tis only a sign that I care.. so there! *sticks out tongue*

Yeah the anniversery is most likely not helping.

bec