Doing ok considering. Been to therapy today. Told off for not resting enough - no surprises there! Got back from therapy then straight to work. Didn't stop til just now. Very tired but ok in myself.

Had the worst kind of nightmare last night - probably cos I'm so tired. Was told I have very developed dissociating skills! Not sure that's good, but it's apparently how I've kept myself going through everything. Less expensive than drugs and alcohol I guess!

but a very hard habit to break piglet!!

I've put the novel behind me and I wil need to recover until I pick up another one of her novels...(not for a long time.) Instead, I read another. My husband says that this is my escape from the world. He knows I'm getting a bit off if I'm reading like chain smoking.

Holy shit. My brain is fried and I still have loads to do! Had more nightmares. Expect I may have more tonight. Last crazy day tomorrow.

Had an ordinary day yesterday... pretty ordinary to say the least. I think a little depressed, down and moody. What caused it? Well, I actually think it was when I read through the backlog of PTSD news for sorting and editing for here. Reading through some of the stories that occur, impact me, and I thought to myself at the time that they might just have there stake upon me... and they did.

Feel good today, much better again actually. About 24hrs of crap, and I knew what did it, and just concentrated on fixing my brain back up again I guess... mental preparation and self talk did the job.

Good luck piglet......almost done....

Hold on tight Piglet... it will soon be over and you can get some much needed wind down for yourself to relax, and sit back long enough to smell the roses and take in some fresh air again. Your really doing very well considering everything that is happening. Well done strong one, well done.

:kickass:

It's a bloody miracle! I got 4 students through 17 assignments today and THEY did the work. I just kept them at it. Completely knackered, but feeling good, cos at least no-one can say I am bad at my job! At the start of the week it looked like 6 or 7 would fail. It ended up as only 2, and only because they didn't attend, so there was nothing I could do about them.

Have run out of my migraine medication, so I'm expecting to keel over in the next couple of hours. Doesn't matter now though. No work needing doing til Monday, and then it's normal pace stuff. What the hell am I going to do with myself for 2 whole days without work????????

I think the dog might get walked. A lot.

Thanks for all your support everyone - no way I would have done it without the sanity here to keep me on track.

That is really great news Piglet... great work on your behalf to get them all through also... the two that didn't show, well... exactly, nothing you could do about that. Really great work, and hopefully you give yourself a pat on your back for a job well done. As long as you continue only proving to yourself that you can do what you want to do, you will go great in helping yourself to beat this illness. Just to work in your condition, and maintain such high expectations and achievements for your students Piglet, you really do need to sit back and give yourself some bloody good back pats for excellent work under quite stressful times for yourself. Well done.

Well, I got really run down yesterday, and was in bed early last night. I just got myself past the fall over from reading through all the PTSD news backlog, and then the little fella has gotten the flu now and crook as all buggery, so I had to deal with him yesterday which took all my emotional and mental resources... at which point when kerrie walked through the door, I fell down on the bed and had to rest for an hour or so. Neither off us slept much last night, and I dare say tonight will be the same. He has a real deep cough, but not a flemmy chesty cough, which is the good side of it I suppose.

Hopefully he should be better within a day or two, and I won't get so worn out looking after him. I think that its purely the fact that I only have so much space compared to those without PTSD to cope, before stress, anxiety, depression and all the rest kick back in again for a short burst. I use up everything fighting back the symptoms I guess, until such time as help arrives so i can get relief from life. An hour later and I was good to go again, which was great, but then I fell over into bed pretty early last night, as I think I was just physically and mentally extracted from taking care of a sick toddler.

Pretty sound now, much better than yesterday and last night, being the weekend and kerrie is home to share the load with me, so today is pretty good and normal for me again.

Hey all,
Headed for a wedding tomarrow... stress city!
not to fond of hanging out with all these strangers.
I swear if anyone askks what happened to my nose I'm gonna freak and storm out
(well, probally not leave 'cause I might be drinking, and I cant' drink and drive)
But I also got to realize that people don't mean to bring up all these uncontrollable emotoins when they ask... which I can't relaly blame them for.

Really quiet today/yesterday/etc.
Must be the depression kickin-in
damit

Baby steps YA, baby steps... one step at a time, and don't beat yourself up over all the symptoms and issues associated with PTSD. Pick one thing, work it, work it so hard that you are no longer bothered by it, then move to another symptom or symptom within a symptom... just one at a time, and you will find more just fall into place as time goes by. If you don't work on PTSD, it will work on you, guaranteed... and control you, your life, and everything about you. I see it so often, and I see so many people fall fowl to PTSD, and basically it is just a lack of there ability to WANT to fix themselves. Keep at it, and don't become a statistic YA... you deserve so much more than that.

I understand that your physical appearance is a deep part of your PTSD, but at the end of the day, it is just a physical attribute, and not the actual person you are. Remember what I said to you previously, the body is just transport for our minds. Our minds are what makes each person up, not our bodies. Bodies come into play for physical attraction and things like that, which are a natural part of a relationship, and if your partner is still physically attracted too you just the way you are, then you really should give yourself a little more credit, because you must just be a beautiful person.

Peoples curiousity will always get better of them, and honestly, I am one of those people that will ask someone like yourself, what happened! I guess I would do that because I would rather here it from you, rather than talk behind your back. So I guess the real issue is, are those that ask you the ones to bother about? They want to know, they may care enough to atleast want to know, which is far better than just talking about your physical appearances behind your back.

Just some possible food for thought to help you through a difficult aspect of your own trauma.