With all the courage you've shown veiled, and the progress you're making I hope you succeed in not being to hard on yourself regarding your medicine dose. You know what your goals are, you're persistent and you'll reach them again.

Just curious veiled, If your medication is helping you... Why exactly do you want the doses cut???

Exhausting.....absol. exhausting!

Trudged through this horrible weather. Shoveled far too much heavy, wet slushy snow. More to shovel. It's all suppose to freeze tonight. Neighb. and our yards flooded. Husb. at SIL helping bail out a finished basement which in presently flooding as fast as they bail it out. Insecure much of the day. Did a no show at kids school as lunch mother and now teacher's feeling angry at me. No time to clean vomit off diningroom floor. Grease tray fell and spalshed kitchen cabinets and floor. Coffee and creamed spilled on livingroom flr. in need of a wet vac. Kids are irritable, I'm irritable, frustr. and spent. Quickly venting to avoid escalating into any anger.

........feel like screaming.......... ahhhhhhhhh...... grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

i'm feeling okay with myself today.

Well, apart from not having slept :sigh:

I have a clean bedroom :D I may have had to buy draws to put my clothes in but it's clean XD

Oh I also managed to go into the shopping center today (to get the draws) only a small shopping center, but I did it. I ate out and didn't panic (well, not too much) it id help that even though I was seated in the middle of the room, there were mirrors around so I could see behind me.

After that (I know, still not finnished my day) I cooked dinner. :faint:

No wonder I feel so exhausted. All on three hours broken sleep :laugh:

Not shoveling the ice/snow yesterday was a bad idea. Now it's frozen solid and it's going to take me ages to dig out.

On the brighter side, I have spent the snow days catching up on my TiVo and writing in my journal and being creative, and I feel really good about that.

I just want to crawl in bed and hide/sleep. I'm just having one of those days that I wish I could have the least amount of stimulation as possible. I want quiet, reflection time for just myself. I think I need a mommy break.

nto havnig a good day...by teh way...is it normal for me to still not be over my recent expereince (about a week ago) of almost becomeing roadkill???

dang...evrything's just spinning...

Need sleep tonight. Husb. assured me kids had school today, so after a great deal of effort, we arrived at school only to find out-NO School. Now this is crazy. Today was no problem around here. The roads were well taken care of here. And, Yesterday there was school and the wind, snow, rain, slush, floods, storm, were wicked........OMG, and there was school yesterday. What is wrong with people?

absolutely exhausted today. Very startley.

Don't have the energy to post more then that.

Y&A all the meds I have been on (look in the polls) have backfired hard. The only thing that settles at least one symptom is the mild tranq. Downside is I build a tolerance very fast to it and it takes a lot more in a matter of days to get the desired effects when I don't get a grip. I mean in days I can 4x my dose to feel better. OK 4 x my dose is what I should be on according to the docs, but if I work hard I can manage normally on a fraction (If I lose the fraction I am a **** up and a half). And since it is highly addictive and causes extreme withdrawals I try to keep it at bare minimum. So bad habit of beating myself up when I have to dose up because I remember the really bad withdrawals docs had me go through and how ill I was getting down to where they want me and the time sick as ever hospitalized in the process. Down side is if I stayed on the dose they want in a week or two it loses the effect s dose would have to keep going up like it did the last couple years until they had no choice but to wean me down. Just prefer a much shorter fall and scared as hell of any fall now. You feel insane then.