The first Doc appointment starts in 2 hours.
I look forward to every Thursday, (heck I'm usually counting down the days)
But the extra energy and travelling makes me dread it at the same time.
Plus the whole anxiety of being in public (waiting rooms) makes me want to crawl back into bed

Hope your appointment went well YA!

Just got home 1/2 hour ago... phew....
It all went well, thank you Piglet :)

Found some balance today between what I needed and what I wanted to do.

Felt overwhelmed and agitated, earlier today with bills, paperwork, dentist and the real need to accomplish so much that I didn't get to. Did succeed in later balancing this with taking it easy.

Another day gone by, and looking forward to sleep, .....feeling pretty good tonight and overall a good uncomfortable day.

I recall making much progress in the past when I didn't put so much value on being and feeling comfortable, ....and I did what I had to do, bc I had to do it. Lately, working in this direction again, nevermind all the avoidance.

today was okay. I cooked dinner (biig achievement) and dragged my ass out of bed in the am

New roomate is moving in today... plus MIL is coming back over...
so as you could imagine I'm cleanig like crazy,
or at least I"m trying to.
I keep catching myself standing in a room with no idea of what I was doing or why I went there.
I get distracted way too easily
(for example... I'm on the computer right now, instead of cleaning, oops)

My back is still hurten... although physical therapy did relief some pressure and stiffness yesterday... my back/neck/jaw muscles have already begun to tighten up.
I don't even want to talk about the facial pain...

OHHHHH!!!!! Just now (while I was typing this) I got a call from the university hospital, my doctor had spoken to the sleep specialist, and they are putting me on something that will hopefully help me get in control of my nightly horrifying nightmare!!!!!! (or reduce them)
I'm willing to try anything at this point.
It's the same nightmare every f*cking night, with tiny variations added.
I crave rest, my body may sleep, but my minds running at full speed trying to sort out stuff.
I want to work on my issues while I'm awake, not in nightmares.
For almost 2 years now, I've been having the same dream every night and it's almost become an alternate life for me. messed up

Having those pesky repetitve dreams..Heh? I learned a technique to break the cycle of repetitive dreams...especially the nightmarish ones.....During the day write up a different scenario of your dream...like something positive will happen at the precise moment that whatever is happening gets scary....An example: If in your dream someone grabs you...at that point write something in=a net falls out of the sky trapping the "grabber" allowing you to escape. You can go on from there and make the dream what you want it to be...example=the net comes down, captures the "grabber", you get away and meet a Knight on a purple spotted horse and he sweeps you up and takes you to Disneyland where you enjoy a 2 week FREE vacation with only the best accomidations and a free rental Cadillac that comes with a chauffer and with all this gas you need........Once you write out this scenario..Take it and read it over and over to set it in your mind....then just before bed read it over and over several times.....then sleep........It has worked several times for me so I reccomend you to try it......This way you have power in your dream and the stuff in the dream doesn't have power over you.......Since your dream has been going on for for a couple of years.....I would suggest that you keep trying this process for at least a week or till it loses its power over you.....I've never had a bad dream last more than 2 weeks.....However once I did this that particular dream went away in 2 nights........I would really give it a go if I were you [and I'm not]!!!!!! Let me know when it works!!!! wildfirewildone.....KEEPING THE PEACE

wildfirewildone, that's a great idea! :)
I've attempted to do something fairly similar,
but would never write it down,
I only thought about how I could change the dream.
But now my fingers are crossed, and my pen is ready.
Thank you :)

Feel like I'm speeding tonight. True, I had a cup of coffee about an hr. ago, but that shouldn't make me feel, like I feel tonight.

Restless & irritable throughout the day. Dealing with this gnawing low-grade anxiety in my chest and guts tonight, as well as thinking to fast.

Oh hope, that sucks.
I understand how you feel, and I hope everything slows down soon
Take care