Challenging day to say the least. Was awake at 5AM to bathe and get the children off to school. Then was trapped all day, while expected to listen and entertain all day. Don't even have time to speak about this, as any moment extend. family will be walking through our front door, and approaching me to talk. Must get off the forum and get to bed 1st. Here they come right now.

thx WildFire...
Whether I stay or leave - they can come in my house
if I don't watch my garage - someone can come in and take everything (including our car thats parked because it is a summer car) with me sitting oblivious in the basement

Every door/bolt that I can lock to feel safe... this person can unlock

Needless to say yesterday I ended up very drunk before 8 a.m.
Couldn't handle it... don't feel safe anywhere...
frig, this person could be picking up my mail from my mailbox right now.

When 'whoever' stole our truck, they left a van in the middle of our street... running.
Cops confirmed the van had been stolen earlier.

lets see...

• Last week on my birthday... I had a devestating appointment.
• oh yeah.... everyone online who had wished me a Happy Birthday thank you so very very much. No one in my own family/life did... although my mom had called me the day before to remind me to call and wish my cousin a Happy Birthday.
• 2 of my fish died
• This bitch my boyfriend works with has been calling here... she needs to back the **** off! (she's gone so far as to plan a poker party at my house this weekend.... like that's gonna happen)
• Truck stolen yesterday
• I want to rip my face off
• Any feeling of "safe" is gone
• Pretty much every PTSD symptom has flared up severly
• I haven't left my house since my birthday

Depression has hit really, really hard.

Just venting

hugs Y&A very tightly

Today's truth: Life fcking SUCKS! I went to bed to others anger & hostility. I woke up to the same fcking thing, I could scream..................I HATE THIS Fcking world, I live in.

Hope

I would like to wish one and all a very jolly and Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!!! I went this morning to see my psychodoc....1 hour and 1/2 drive due to not so great road clearing....which is only about another 15 minutes....I got home here around 3 pm....Was going to go to mass but was too tired and weary....My psychodoc thinks that it is a good idea to use the "I Can't Get Over It" book to get at my "stuff".....I will be starting on chapter 3......I am doing fairly well healthwise but I am still dealing with the remnants of the respiratory infection that totally knocked me out last weekend...What I really hate is that my sense of taste has been lost as part of this chest crap!!!!:angry-fla .. I can't even enjoy chocolate!!!!! I have to keep remembering to use my inhaler 3 times a day as ordered by my medical doc......I couldn't find any IRISH activities in this area so last night I made some shamrock shaped sugar cookies which I took a few of to my psychodoc who was soooooo grateful for as he was getting hungry!! It was very almost enjoyable to make cookies again....it's probably been about 10 years since I made them....with having moved and all it took some time to find all the stuff I need to gather before I could start mixing them up....But I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will have to make some for my son to enjoy as I talked about doing it last year but I never got around to it....All in all I am rather pleased with myself today!!!!! :claps: I am a bit when I think about moving forward in my recovery but I am soooooo tired of being triggered by so much stuff and having all the crappy memories to deal with every day!!!! I will probably do a lot of deep breathing....I will be doing this stuff in my private trauma diary....STANDING FOR PEACE AND NON-VIOLENCE

We got our truck!

Whomever took it still has all the keys,
but at least we got the vehicle back.

Great news about getting your truck back!!!!! Did it suffer any damage???? I will keep praying about the keys.....PEACE

well

just feel bleh. am crashing at my sweeties place again tonight as i just can't face going home.

Graaaahs

curls up and hugs everyone.

Just feel bleh.

Y&A, that's awesome!

Whoever took the truck was an idiot.
The van they left outside my house was full of gas.
My truck was almost on empty, lol
Since it had been reported stolen within seconds of it being taken,
every gas station was watching for it.
So the theif just ditched it infront of someones house 20 blocks away.


Ughhh, I just woke up, boyfriends gone to work.
And that stupid bitch called my house while I was sleeping.
Last time I told her 'nicely' that "no, he's sleeping, goodbye"
Next time I'm just going to tell her "screw off, and have some respect for ME, find her own boyfriend/friends and call them instead!"