I am probably the only person alive who can get an anxiety attack from a giant Easter Bunny...I just couldn't see the person's face and they were handing my girls' candy - ugh, I just can't stand it!

Easter was hard. Hubs told me to take the prescribed doses to get through the Holiday and enjoy myself for once not being on pins and needles all day. I said screw it and did. I was a little groggy but that was from my daughter having company and the girls up all night.

I came home to find Pearl dead. I have processed so many chickens but she was not just a chicken, at least she did not think so and I sure as hell did not. I am just heart broken.

I have another chicken Opal but that was Pearl's pet and kept her to keep Pearl company. The zoo out here has a display of Silkies so I am debating donating her to the zoo, she can be outside, she looks a lot better than the zoo's ones. Hubs wants me to give it a week to decide. I don't know, I have to think about it.

I am just so pissed off and am guilt free taking my meds to try to keep me a sleep. Not working well but keeping me knocked out over and over. I will deal with reality tomorrow.

hugs veiled tight

am facing having my big dog PTS soon. Has tumors all over him incliding one o his throut, a few in his mouth and one in his nose. None of them are operable, we can just keep him comfortable.

*curls up and hides*
Am having a BAD day. feel like self harming, just cant deal tonight. Going to take some phenergan, hope that'll make me sleep
nite all, is now 2am and i have just been bullied to bed from some online friends *coff* who are still in daytime.

Veiled, Sorry to hear of your loss...You are in my thoughts. <hugs>

T.

Veiled... I'm so sorry about Pearl

Thanks bevcan,

That's good advice about me only reading posts that I can handle. Thank you for helping me with that problem.

Good Day, Rob

Today was kind of ok.

I had the day off. ok, waking up was really down. I have kidney problems, and I usually wake up with 1 or both kidneys in horrible pain. The pain is like hitting your head on a doorframe or table-and hitting your head hard enough that the pain is so bad you can't move for a couple of minutes or so. ouch.
Anyway, I got myself some brunch.
At about 3-4pm I went to a small pharmacy to buy some pens. I then looked at some firearms magazines/literature. [ I like studying pictures of firearms + toy soldiers, that's why I was looking at the firearms magazines. If you're wondering, carrying a gun doesn't appeal to me]. moving on...
I had a hard time going to the cashier to buy the pens. Probably because I'd have to talk to a stranger, the cashier. I've also been neglectful + let my hair grow to my collar, so I was nervous I'd look like a lowlife to the woman at the register. I came home, Had dinner. Nothing on tv. I surfed the web. Today was kind of all right.

sorry ,about Pearl, my day has sucked and been ok to start with the good i bought myself some tulis theu are beautiful, they maded me smile---------My mother informrf late tonight that My grandpa had well by the way that is was desribed to me a stroke , maybe a Transient Ischemic attack or a full blown one no can tell they took him to a dr. e=who put it off to bring old , apparrently big chsnge ----abut what really Pisses me off is that they didnt think i could handle the extra stress as I am appparently stressed out rigt now. Biggest complaint still horrid head pains and increasing memroy loss

hugs everyone

tired grumpy and shaky today.

Still, at least I feel like i can breath. Well, kinda.

Went to my second least favorite place today...the dentist (or as we call our dental hygenist Captain Hook). Ladies, y'all know the least favorite place.

I don't remember a cleaning hurting this much when I was a kid!

BTW-when did dentists start having patients wear safety glasses???? The first time the dentist handed them to me, my first question was 'Exactly how much am I going to bleed that I need these?'