Not doing well.
Life feels so shitty sometimes...
just got to work through some crap

That's great news Nam. I won't lie to you about these things, and whilst you handled rereading those with no problems, if you actively continue to push yourself from this point and get more of your trauma out through memories, then you will have times your going to crack, and go to pieces, but its healthy to do that, not the unhealthy, self destructive type going to pieces.

A person can do trauma therapy themselves with various techniques that I have mentioned here, they just need someone to be there to pick them up when it does get hard, and to motivate them to continue on. This could go on for months, or a year even, but at the end of the time, and the release of every bit of trauma and full memory recovery with no more suppression, life gets much much easier.

I think you already got yourself to a great point Nam mentally, its just that you forgot to rid yourself of the trauma along the way. A big step for you now, but a little step in the overall process you have already done yourself. I think you know you have done well with yourself already, and if you don't, you have. I think you also know that your intentional suppression of your trauma was wrong, but you might just realise that maybe its time to rid yourself off it now.

Remember Nam, there are lots of people who can help you with this. Don't be afraid of your trauma, embrace it and cry, breakdown if need be, but at the end of the day, remembering and getting it all out and documented, or memorized even, is the best way forward, because then you will no longer be scared of your past.

YA, hang in there sweetie... your doing great. I understand that things are tough for you at the moment. Just continue analysing everything that happens, keep your realistic attitude and approach to your fears, and you will come out the other side of this.

Me.... well, I have the flu back again. Here for 24hrs, gone for 24hrs, back again now, worst than before. I feel like shit! PTSD wise, all good... though I am a little distressed at present, because I am sick, bub is sick, kerrie-ann had a cat jump on her tummy this morning and has made her distressed, so bub has been checked out and is still sitting in the womb all happy and content, though kerrie is a little sore where the cat jumped her.

An interesting past 24hrs to say the least for me... see what the next 24hrs brings me!!!

Oh Kerrie-Ann!! I'm sorry! I worked in a maternity ward and there have been many patients that came in with many things that jumped on their bellies like dogs, cats, rabbits, children, and other people! (We had one patient come in because she was jumped on from a patient that she was caring for! She had bruises to prove it!) So sorry! Babies do have it good and cushy in there though: Food, oxygen, warmth, and hearing your heart and voice above him.

Get better Anthony! And to do that you must REST! Are you resting?????

Okay, sleep for me...Happy weekend everyone.:sleep: :sleep:

Due to shaky fingers, have just managed to delete my post. So now I'll try again! Reason for shaky hands is due to me just getting back from a 10 mile bike ride. Pretty much shaking head to foot actually, but I feel better for the exercise. It's about time I used what energy I have for recreation instead of work, so I'm quite proud of myself! :crazy-blu


Making progress too, cos last time I tried to cycle that route I had to give up after only 1.5 miles, as my legs were shaking so much by then that I could hardly keep my feet on the pedals! That was three weeks ago (mind you - it's taken this long for my backside to recover from the bike seat!)

So my day got better as it went along. That seems to be a pattern with me. It takes a while to adjust after any sleep I get, then I'm ok for a few hours (providing I don't get set off by something), before the impending night starts to dampen my spirits.

Hope you all are having some r&r this weekend!

Today I mowed the lawn. Only the backyard. Our front yard is 130x200 yards (large) and we only have a push mower. I made a deal with my hub that if he mowes the front, I'll mow the back (heheheh). He actually went for it! So today, was the second time ever that I've mowed the lawn with a push mower (I grew up on a rider.). Good honest work. I was hot and sweaty when I came in, but I felt great. In fact, I feel awesome. (am I missing something???) I chose to just enjoy it while it's here.

My day sucked big time. Here's hoping that tomorrow is better.

I'm sorry piglet! Hang tough, it will get better.
Good day today. I'm cleaning the house today. I know, I know, always say I am and never make it. But this time it's for real!! It's hot and humid here so I'll do most of my cleaning in my basement.

Hey all,

Haven't heard much from this end because we are all sick. Anthony has a real bad case of the flu, Alexander has a chest infection and now I am catching whatever it is that they have. I am off to the acupuncturist this afternoon and hoping that will help. I am sure Anthony will post when he is well enough. Take care.

Anthony do this: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: Get better soon!

Hang tight Piglet... your a tough one! Thanks Nam... feel like shit still, so just quickly popping through here. Amazing what exercise can do for hey nam at this stage in recovery??? I know you still have a few hidden bits and pieces, but for the most part, you doing pretty well, so all these little things now start to fall into place, which I think you are seeing, ie. mow the lawn = exercise, which equals endorphins, energy, balanced mind... basically, you just feel better. Don't do it, and you feel down, glum, gloomy, crappy basically. Keep it up Nam.