OMG, so much snow outside! It is making driving hard, but so pleasant when you do not have to drive. I feel like back in Russia!!!!
In the morning, me and goofy Roland the Rottie were playing and restling in the snow, and as a result were both wet, tired, hot, and happy. In the evening, when everyone were back from work, we had to clean our driveway, and then made a HUGE snow-lady, and finally had a horrific snowball battle. After this, I had made a tea for everybody, as we make it in Russia, strong and hot, with toasted bread, jam, and cookies. That was so great, and now my guys are dead to the world in their bedrooms, and Roland climbed his big butt on the couch and sleeps, too.
Holly cow! I just understood that I am very homesick.

This sounds so good. I am also from a snow country, but living in a no-snow place.
I envy you for all the snow fun.

i woke up early today, many bothering topics on my mind- anxiety about damaged relationships.
My husband listened to me- very nice- and then I got into the forum- so it didn't hurt that he stopped listening. Being in the forum makes me feel better today.

Work has been less tense and I have been more focused. This week I was a bit sad. It was the second anniversary of a co-worker death. She was twenty-three years old.

Driving in the ice and snow has been challenging but I am coping and not letting my irrational fears win.

I am really glad to have found this forum. It's been hard not to feel alone. I have tried to share my experiences with friends and co-workers. It's uncomfortable for them. It's uncomfortable for me as well. Here I don't have titrate my experiences to anyone's comfort level. I think there's genuine understanding here, as well.

My head is killing me, I have not slept in a couple days, I am on the verge of puking, I really feel so bad at this point I want to curl up and die somewhere. I just feel so damn miserable and hurt.

Good side though is lil' one turned four today. She had a blast and plenty of toys. I made her a cookie cake just like the one who turned 16 last weekend. Of course she had to have "extra chips" in it. It also snowed for her. She was not thrilled it was too fluffy too make a snowman. If there is a way y'all Yankees make a snowman out of fluffy snow let me know!

X-mas tree up. Not decorated all the way but up. And somehow hubby and I damn near had WWIII over it because he bought a white one. Neither of us were pissed it was white... Just he said I asked for a white pre lit and I said I asked for one pre lit with white lights. Stupid fight... 2 birthdays in December things are tight so he is cranky, and me not sleeping feeling unwell very cranky.

I would kill for sleep right now but I need to stay up to eat. I have not been able to yet so I am sure it isn't helping.

New day tomorrow right?

Yesterday my youngest daughter and I went to a local nature park (boardwalks along the edge of the river...Florida like it was before settlement) and then went out and had some ice cream cones. It was warm enough to sit outside and eat it.

Nothing spectacular...but I had a blast with her.

Lisa

I've had some really good days. I'm really enjoying the kids. Yesterday, we played out in the snow while I took turns pulliing each quickly along and down a hill on a sled.

Also, I feel good that we're like 80% ready for X'mas. Have been enjoying my work and most especially shoveling snow. It's ice that I'd like to do without, but snow, and at Christmas time, I love it!

I am begining to dread the upcoming holiday. Usually I am able to make my appearance, pretend like I want to be there, and pretend like I belong there. Last year, I was even pleasantly surprised when it exceeded my low expectations. Yet, last month at Thanksgiving, I couldn't bring myself to go. I couldn't pretend like it didn't hurt to be there. I don't know why these hurt feeling have surfaced. I thought I had successfully dealt with my family. Maybe facing my own mortality, I have had to deal with facing theirs too. I always had hope that for as long as they are alive, that there was hope for a genuine relationship with them. Now it seems there is even less of a guarantee of that. And, yes, when reality doesn't match what I think it should be, it is painful. And right now I can't fake it or deny it.

My day is actually very good. Got good news. I am house sitting/ dog sitting for some people that have a 4 yr old grand daughter that had to have a very rare brain tumor removed last Thursday. She is fine, and is going home today. This was a tough surgery and I am so grateful she is fine. It's a wonderful Xmas gift for everyone.....

Past months have been crazy....
Sounds silly, but I cannot wait for Christmas to be over!
(and it's not even here yet!)
The stress of visitors, cleaning, making gifts, etc.
At least I almost have my house spotless, phew

Y&A It is so good to see you posting! I have wondered where you have been hiding. Look forward to see you posting more.

My day... Well, it started 3 hours after I went to sleep. I got my first gift!!! OK, it wasn't good though. My little one decided she wanted to get in bed with daddy and I was still up last night. I decided I am just too tired and not in the mood to fight her for blankets or bed space or try to kick her out and went to her bed to sleep. I was conked out with my arm over my head palm facing up. My stupid ass inbred dip shit (she really is inbred dip shit) of a cat crawled up on my hand and proceeded to take a piss right in to the palm of my hand!!! I woke up confused trying to figure out why I felt like my hand was under the faucet. Then kitty would have been better off to have sprouted wings. After the thud on the wall and me cussing it dawns on me I really threw my cat (she is full grown but small due to inbred so she is very light). I panic but still pissed off to no end thinking I am going to have to do an emergency vet trip. Apparently she bounces well as she is just fine. WTF was that cat thinking????

I am up and at the same time my daughter gets up... She left the same present for daddy in my bed! Ughhhh is it if you have pets and kids it means you can't have a bed not pissed in?

My day has stayed on that track today. And hubby's can't be much better. He STARTED Xmas shopping tonight. Would have yesterday but the snow storm was a mess and we got iced right before so it was very slick.

Need a hot bath... My body hurts all over from lil' one's bed. Hubby loves her bed, but firm kills my body. Trying to clean my house.