Feeling frustrated and down. Invisible and irrelevant at work and with counsellors.

It's been a good day. I drank lots of fresh fruit and vegetable juice (I just got a juice extractor) and rested.

I am so happy it's nice enough to be outside more. I need the sun. I'm doing well here even amidst all of the devastation that is going on around me. (I live in IA. There's major flooding here.....and a horrible tornado that came through a few weeks ago.) I'm thanking all my lucky stars that I live on a hill and have a basement.

I love my juicer. Sorry to see all the devastation in IA I'm from Knoxville S.E. of Des Moines but moved as a kid still a lot of family there.

I'm doing pretty good today. I'm actually going out to a bar to see an old Denver band's reunion. I'm sure I'll see lots of people I haven't seen in years. I;ll see how long I last there ?

My day's....has been short thus far. Talk about not making the most of it...I'm laying on the sofa...with a lap top on my tummy....lame I know.

I'm depressed....and ....well doing a lot of thinking.

I appreciated reading this thread - a helpful reminder to check feelings rather than only thoughts which don't get me anywhere (or blur along in numbness).

I feel sad and angry. My partner just does not want to talk about this stuff; denial and submerging in the minutia of daily living is where she's at. I don't have anyone just to talk to about this. The counselor is different - we're working. I want (need? is that a need I wonder?) affection, connection, support, to be understood. I wish there was an in-person group in my town, but it's a college town and a very, very transient/non-cohesive community.

I feel lonely.

The book I'm reading (Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman) is bringing up a lot. First is the incredible relief to finally have my experience mirrored in a way that I was never able to articulate and a sense, for the first time, that the symptoms aren't ME; they're symptoms. But insomnia is back, the disocciation is increasing, and this sense that I'm standing at the mouth of a trail that leads into a dark and dangerous forest. I am afraid. And I also have just the littlest bit of confidence that I can, and will, walk through it.

But mostly, right now, I feel sad. And pissy as hell that I have to work.

Dylan

It is confusing sometimes.

It's an ok day...so far. Not great not even that good but ok. Stressing I think about seeing my shrink tomorrow. They have changed the appointment on me three different times and I just don't feel like going

Finally got some sleep last night so I am feeling very relaxed... I had forgotten how good this feels....

Sparky

I am angry i hope i remember and it lasts until the morning i am angry for my feeble responses to some of the things that have been occuring at school for my son and the feeble b........ i am being fobbed off with .