Nam, I think you know its time to deal with things, because firstly you went looking for help to find this place, secondly, your body is telling you its time to get rid off it all... because it has allowed you years of good times, and feeling great, but all falsely masked with suppressed trauma. I think your body wants the true you back again, without all the trauma hanging around... as your mind and body will only factually suppress trauma for so long, then it will leak through, and if still ignored, near take you down in a screaming heap. I think you need to listen to what your mind and body are telling you Nam, and act upon it before it gets worse.

Piglet... bloody good stuff. Congrats on a great night out. That jumping castle sounds like a piss cutter of a time... don't mind getting funky in those things myself. Know what you saying about the alcohol though... as one light beer goes straight to my head nowadays. I have one beer, feel the impact, and then wonder how much damage and punishment I have given my body over the years with alcohol.... ouch! You deserve to enjoy yourself... and did you notice, that in a controlled environment, a little mental preparation and taking the dog, helped you through having a great night. Well done!

Thanks for your reply anthony, I don't like it, but I need to hear it. Masking is a good word....

Anyway, today is geat! My sister is here after delays, got lost, etc. Anyway, she and her little girl are asleep in my basement as I type. It's good to have her here. Besides her little one is soooooo cute.

Had some bad nightmares last night, but I'm doing okay. At least the crying is gone, for now.

Piglet, that is so awesome! I'm glad you were silly (you've got to let go of some control to be that way, which I think is great to do once in a while), and I think you handled the trigger quite well. Good for you!! Mmmmm, about the alcohol, I used to get drunk on 1/4 glass of champagne..cheap date!

Today went great. I'm getting good at this sewing thing. I sewed two shirts today (for myself!) and had someone ask me where I bought it from! HA! That's when you know you've arrived!

Nam, you've arrived! lol
If I were to sew myself a shirt... well... lets just say it wouldn't be pretty...
Good job! I bet you can make some pretty cool things :)

I think it's day #4 or so for having this darn flu...
It sucks, but not nearly as painful as my daily "normal" pain,
besides... I don't think the flu will last too much longer (*/fingerscrossed*)

Ouch YA... you get better soon hey. I sympathise as having it recently myself, and considering we are across the world from one another... spooky!

Good for you Nam... bloody well done. That has certainly given you a bit of a boost, which is what we all need at times.

Me... well, I am changing some of my websites onto my new server... and lets just say, frustrating is the least of words I could use at this point. I am leaving this place until as the last one to move, considering upsetting those with PTSD is not a great thing to do... so I will work out all bugs, concerns and issues with others forums first, then I will move this one, being my baby, and very near and dear to my heart.

Anthony, my hub is a network engineer and can sympathize with you. He says good luck!

My thoughts exactly!

Convinced my boyfriend to call in and cancel my first Doctor appointment of the day :)
Isn't it funny that instead of seeing a Doc when I get sick...
it ends up being the only time I cancel appointments, lol
Oh well... it's not like those kind of doctors deal with colds/flu
and besides... I made it to my second appointment :crazy-eye

Parents are visiting tomarrow
so it's a cleaning marathon tonight,

Got my daughter's cold. Now three of us are sick. Bummer. But to make us all feel better, I took another shot at making cinnamon rolls and they turned out this time! Last time, they were like sugar coated leather...yuk! I think I've got this yeast/rise thing figured out. But gosh, it takes forever! Better to drive to the store and get some in fraction of the time.

Hey, Nam, here's a trick my dad used when he'd make cinnamon rolls. put the dough in a big bowl covered with a tea towel, then set it on top of your TV for awhile.
Sorry to hear you are sick. I hate a cold in the summer!


I guess I am doing alright. I have been a little depressed lately. I had gotten all this strength and was going to use it to get better. The my dad had a talk with me about shutting out my mom and since has taken some of the wind out of my sails. It is so discouraging when this happens.
I have never gone through with getting help because I am afraid of loosing my family, what kind of logic is that? They haven't ever tried to support me in any way but material so why am I so hellbent on keeping this all inside just to keep them happy? I get mad at myself because I feel weak.

Because you are a nice person and have experienced enough hurt to know that you don't want to see any more. My family are not given any important information about my life. I talk to my Mum almost daily, but most of it is about the weather and what the rest of the family have been doing (and yes, she persists in talking about psychbro, even though I have told her I am not interested on elittle bit!).

I know how you feel about having the wind out of your sails. I'm feeling a bit like that myself today. Just rest as much as you can. Maybe tomorrow will be better.