Thanks Nam :)

I really do hope they can help

Well... today was a bit strung out for me, in that for some reason or another, I was just getting wound up by the end of the day today. I didn't lose it or anything, I just curled up on the lounge this evening and read a book for a while, to unwind a bit. It worked, as I feel much better now.

My mother in law is here at the moment, my teenager is home sick, the little fella is teething, and kerrie-ann is home sick also... so I don't have my usual day with just me and bub. I think all the excessive traffic and noise in the house at once, generally during times when I can just relax with bub, just hasn't been around for the last week or so now.

I believe I am somewhere near frustrated... and getting a bit moody, but also have identified what the issue is for why my symptoms are rising just a little more than normal, being little to nothing.

I prepared myself mentally for having my mother in law here, so that is fine, but didn't really plan on having my oldest son and wife home sick all week... well actually, kerrie has been home nearly a month sick now... so I guess my stress is rising a bit more than usual.

This is definately a good learning curve for me, as I am learning to deal more with on the spot, inpromptu situations, as you can never really prepare yourself for when someone is going to be sick and end up home in my grid square 24/7.

Anthony, I hope life calms down a bit for you and things return to normal. Maybe it's all the women in the house? Hehehehe, just kidding!

Vacation was great. Spent too much money, but had a good time. Hub and I are closer too. Coming back home is hard though. I didn't want the laundry, the work needed to be done on the house, and my hub gone to work everyday, leaving me with tyrants. I was grouchy one day, and now I'm okay. I still have tons to do. So I need to get off my bum and computer and get going!

I hope that all of you are doing well....

Great stuff Nam... and glad you had a really good break.

I think people will begin to see the positives they have educated themselves with from taking a holiday, in that you will start noticing things that you do that used to cause you distress. When your actively talking about your situation, your past and traumas, you go take a break for a while, then things just hit you, that suddenly your beginning to feel better for it, and there is more to life when PTSD isn't as bad.

Anyway... I am much better this morning. Yer Nam... it could be all the extra female presence... but I think its just the feeling that I am being crowed all day, instead of just me and bub. I look at it pretty positively, and that these aspects that do test me, only make me stronger, as I analyse them as they appear, as I begin to feel a bit funny over my surroundings, and work out why.

The feelings have passed now... but I definately think it was more like feeling crowded, being one of my many issues, and crowded in my own home... my safe zone, I think that was the key to it.

I am glad you getting up and about, and not tied to the computer... great stuff.

Great day today. I painted, pulled up a floor...nothing like good, honest work. I had a high school friend over for supper tonight and she is probably the only friend that I can talk freely about being in therapy for ptsd. I never go into detail why I have it, but she does know the basics. She was in the Army and knows quite a bit about PTSD and it's treatments. She also recommends EMDR. I found it comforting that I could just be myself....even if it isn't perfect.

That is great Nam... really good that you have social interaction and a friend who you can just talk with about anything, including your PTSD.

Hello everyone

I'm glad you had a good holiday, NAM, and it's nice to hear that you and your husband got closer. It sounds like you had a good day just now too. It's so wonderful to be able to relax with someone and be able to feel comfortable just being yourself - I think it's something many people have difficulty with. It sounds so simple doesn't it? Yet we're almost surprised when other people actually think we're OK as we are!

I've come up out of my recent dip. I had a friend who disappeared and it set off a lot of abandonment issues and I set off on another round of rage and withdrawal and depression etc. But he's back. He's just been incredibly busy with a career surge. We had a very long and open chat about deeply personal things (though I'm not talking romance here, he's got his own issues to deal with). He liked my skills of perception - learnt through hypersensitivity as discussed on another thread. I'm very happy that I have a friend who fits a certain niche - I can't think of amyone I could have had that conversation with, so I feel like a little niche in my life has been occupied. I felt bereft when I thought he'd bogged off. I just assumed I'd been rejected. Classic automatic thought! So I've moved on a little in terms of growth and confidence.

I wish everyone well and hope things are moving onwards and upwards.

That is exceptional Purdy... that damn "negative thinking style" is a tough one to crack, because even without PTSD, the human mind determines the worst first, then realism second. Well done on your growth, and that things have worked out for you... excellent news.

Today was a bit calmer but yesterday's counselling session was tough...So, my counsellor said it is in fact PTSD...even though I was pretty sure-- it's still tough to hear that...but at the same time a bit of a relief because I finally know. At least it's not an extreme case...

I was supposed to describe my memories and I just couldn't talk...As the stuff was coming to me I showed anger and the counsellor tried to get me to get it out. It was working for a little bit but then I stopped...I think I scared myself and there's so much more where that came from. I found myself walking down the street afterwards and just wanting to kick/hit/smash anything and everything in my way...Anyway, just feeling down right now and very sleepy even though I know I won't be able to sleep...I'll stop rambling though. Night.

Reallydown, you have come so far! If I hear you right, in one session, you were diagnosed for sure about ptsd and you proceded to tell your therapist about some of the memories. I think that is tremendous progress. Even if you didn't get very far, it takes time for the memories to process into words to describe to someone else. For a lot of us, it's just pure emotion that we feel and it is so difficult to describe it to someone else. For example, saying that I was terrified did not adequately describe what I was feeling during my emergence of memories. There just aren't words. I think that just opening up just a little is great. Progress is progress no matter how little. That's just a little bit closer to feeling better. Congrats!

Crunch time for me in this house. I'm preparing for my daughters birthday party and I'm admist a renovation. I've given myself a goal to have the living room finished. To give you an idea, the party is two weeks away, and I've yet to put in the floor. mmmmm? Stress anyone? But, it is positive. A challenge, I guess. I hope all of you are doing okay...