Lucid dreaming is something that has been toyed with in the treatment of sleep for PTSD, but I don't generally give advice on it because I don't know enough about it myself, and what I do know, is that it is generally taught and controlled by a professional, face-to-face, hence why I won't go into detail about it here. The fact is, is if you get it wrong, and some other sleep methods that go with this, you can end up in a world of hurt mentally, more messed up than you where originally.

Thats great you are using it effectively Shadow, very good to hear positive feedback in regard to that sleeping / dreaming method. I would say that if you want to use these type methods, do so in conjunction with your counsellor who can talk too you the day or two after you are doing your own experimenting, to ensure it is right for you, and your not actually getting worse.

From my understanding of these methods, the brain is extremely powerful, powerful enough to alter your original trauma and possibly make them worse, even though they are not real, they become real to you... I must say, tread carefully for those who are not experienced in this and seek professional advice first.

Sorry Anthony, I'll try to be more careful.

This morning and last night have been very, very hard on me.

You haven't done anything wrong Shadow, don't get me wrong. It is something that needs to be discussed, and if you have success with it, you should share it. If you get worse from it, you should share it. What works for one, may not work for another, but may just work for someone else.

Who taught you about lucid dreaming? Was this something you researched yourself or did in conjunction with your counsellor / physician?

Actually, it was by accident. The repeating images were something that would just happen, like the faucet. These images would drive me nuts. It took a long time to call just one (some were more annoying than others) and after that It took awhile to interupt them.

Survived another family day. Kept myself busy with my 3-year-old niece. Also muttering "hope he chokes" while my brother ate some of my birthday cake! He didn't. Was absolutely knackered by 3pm. Hardly slept at all last night, apart from a couple of nasty nightmares. Got a day full of meetings today. Going to see if I can get myself out of a couple, else I'm gonna crash by lunchtime.

Did a very stupid thing at my parents house. I went into my old room and sat with my back against the door like I used to when I was trying to stop my brother getting in. The room seemed so much smaller now than it was then. I guess that's a reflection of how small I was then. When I leaned against the door, it creaked and I nearly shot through the ceiling. Ended up feeling very sick - so much so that my mum asked what was wrong when I ventured back downstairs 5 minutes later. Also, a strange thing - my back really hurt for ages. I don't even remember my back getting hurt at any time when I had to sit like that, although I clearly remember feeling the blows through the door, and the door bending behind me. Very odd.

Piglet, your a sucker for punishment. Your not ready for that kind of stuff yet, so your only punishing yourself by doing it.

My days have been good since last posting. I fell asleep with bub last night at 8pm and didn't wake until 7am this morning. Must of needed some sleep I guess. Feeling funky, was a little knackered Sunday running around after teenager with football, and it was also Kerrie-Ann's birthday, so I had football in the morning, missed his actual game in the afternoon and took my wife up the mountain for some pancakes at a lovely, busy, pancake house. They were so yummy too....

Kerrie-Ann just told me that her professor marked her last uni assignment, and that they want to publish parts of it for being so well written. Great news all round. Makes me quite proud of my girl.

Tomorrow, the little fella goes to daycare, fingers crossed he is good in the morning... which means I get a day to myself. I am basically planning to get some jobs done around the house that have been neglected for months, which will be nice.

Piglet, I'm kimda worried about you. Why was your brother invited? Is the abuse a secret?
P.S. Happy birthday!
So far, today is okay for me. Not great, but not yet bad.

Bit of a crap situation really. I told my mum a couple of years ago. She was shocked and upset - as you would expect - but she was torn about what to do. The reaction I got from talking about some fairly minor stuff was not encouraging, so I have never told about the seriously bad stuff. From my mum's point of view, confrontation would mean that my brother would probably not let my mum and dad see their grandkids. On top of that, if my eldest brother and my dad found out, there would be violence. It's ironic, but they have always been quite protective of me. I've seen and felt enough violence, and I don't want to see my nice brother or my dad suffer on my account. (Although I wouldn't mind if some random person beat the living shit out of the bastard).

The problem I have is that whenever I visit my parents, if my brother knows, he comes right over. It's like he can't stand me getting some quality time with them. He has to come over and then everything is about him and his life and needs (how much money he earns, how wonderful his kids are - they are great kids, but that's nothing to do with him!).

I have an agreement with my mum that she won't tell him when I am going to visit. The funny thing is - he always turns up without calling first, yet there is huge outcry if he finds out I dropped by without him knowing!

I guess for the moment I choose the lesser of two evils. I have some control over my visits, and I don't HAVE to go there. Mostly these days I get my parents to come to me, but I really miss the dogs, and they do not travel well. I'm not sure I will visit much at all once the dogs have gone. It's sad, but I don't feel safe in that house. It should be my place to go when things are bad, but it can't be.

Anyway, before I depress myself I shall stop!

Not a bad day, all things considered. Got caught up on some paperwork and got out of 2 meetings this afternoon so I could go home early. Hoping I get some decent sleep tonight - a couple of hours in one go would be nice. :sleep:

Me, feeling funky still, all good on the homefront here. Dropped bub at daycare today, first day, and hooked in around here to mow lawns, wash car, clean garage, clean house, drop teenager at football, have dinner, put bub to bed and now I have my time... Feeling very very good.

Anthony, when do you sleep boy? Is maintaining this site ever stressful for you?

How did you sleep Piglet? Sorry I didn't mean to make you sad. How is your dog?

I'm almost done with the dresses I had to sew for the post-wedding and my awesome roomate did all of the dishes. (Usually my job but I've been so busy with this d**n party, breaking down and trying to take care of the house and baby) so I feel good today.

It's my mate's (husband's) day off so I'll get to see him all day. I've been worried about him lately. I think my two breakdowns in two days got to him.

Also, we Game tonight (playing an anime rpg called Exaulted) which we had to take a huge break from so I'm psyched!
It's a staple of my sanity.