OMG I slept

nieces are sleeping over tonight, I'm helping out with the PCYC dance. Should be interesting. . . . ..

Umm ooh best news of all is bro dearest is not going to be home at all tonight :claps: :moon: :walking:

All yays.

Oh, and found out my pet rat Silk gets a little crabby when I try cleaning her nest out with rubber gloves on

Boyfriend lost his job yesterday...
mom made me feel like shit over the phone last night...
parent's are visiting tomarrow...
doctors appointment in 30 min...
argh!

I got a call from my oldest daughter at work today. Not only did she get employee of the month at her job...she also got a raise!

I took my husband out on a date tonight. It was just dinner at a local restaurant (we go early since I don't do well with crowds)...but I can't remember the last time it was just he and I to dinner.

Small celebrations in our home tonight. :-)

a looooooong day. psych. appt. he is trying to talk me into electroshock treatment again, told me that the only memory loss is of the day of the treatment. i told him i was uncomfortable with it. put me on prozac instead of back on the lexipro. don't know a thing about it, except it's older.

Still rage. Started to calm but it is back. I got a note home from the girl's school in the mail. She has a 47 in a class. She is also now in detintion at school for excessive tardies. One of the notes said she has not been going to tuorials in that class as I told her to do with the bad grade.

She was told if this other crap kept up and I was taking the halloween costume and no trick or treat. So... I get this on top of it; as I am up in her room with hubs looking for it (costume) we come across a note book. It was next to where she said I would find her black lipstick. I am mom so I look in it. Full of hate for me and step dad and how she so idolizes her dad. I am sick and it is ALL my fault her dad who "loves her so" much is not around. And goes on about the many boy friends of mine. Excuse me???? In 16 years I married 3 times and dated very briefly twice. She met them once or twice. Now I have been with my husband about 5 years and she is writing how she wish I would just settle on one man. This was written last month as she dated it. WTF? it has been 5 years what do you men settle???? Going on how she wants him gone... Um, not going to happen.

Very good thing the children are all out of the home this weekend. It would not have been pretty in my state of mind (reason kids are gone as withdrawals are making me a nasty person) and I am at a total loss. And gee she knows what her dad did. #2 hub spoils them rotten go figure she prefers him, and #3 had a boyfriend for Gods sake and she knew it. And some how she thinks I was at fault for the failing relationships... I swear my head is going to blow up.

Anyone in need of a teen????? .25 cents or better yet I will pay! ARGH!

Veiled:

Please excuse me, as I think I may have asked you this before, but is your daughter in counselling???

From what you have written, your daughter is rewriting history to conform to her "idealized" reality and she is building an unhealthy perception of male/female relationships. (ie: everything is woman's fault, which is the basis of domestic violence perceptions)

I would suggest taking her diary into therapy with her and using it as a stepping stone to open up these issues...

Bec

You took the words out of my mouth bec. I reckon you could take a month out of therapy and use that money to put her through some, because if she comes better, hence so do you without the extra stress, so you should cope just fine for a month or two without therapy IMO to swap with your daughter who is sounding so much like she needs it now, before she ends up in hate relationships, or worse, becomes easy prey as such for the more sadistical minds this earth has forsaken us with. The black lipstick just really threw it out there to me also... she needs it now IMHO... hotswap sessions maybe!

I convey what I find with the doc and he gives tips on how to handle. Today reading just hurt and it is getting beyond my capabilities to help. Doc says she is very much in denial and gives me pointers to help it. I told hubs so which way do we do this? Cut my doc visits out so she can go or me go. We cannot afford both. I think being a mom and with the self help of reading, studying, and having a great support system on my side the answer is obvious.

My "favorite" piece of art work along with her writings was a heart drawn with jagged edges through it as if broken. Dad written on one side and her name on the other... MOM written on the jagged line. It kills me.

But she is more important. And hubs and I already talked about it. She is going to start going and I will have to suck it up and drive. He specializes in kids and family.

Doc wants me in early this week to do a double session. I will go in Monday for that and rearrange then. At least this doc has the family history so he has that on his side.

Oh the black lip stick was part of the halloween costume. She wears neutral pink. And you are thinking like me on the doc. If she tried to wear it anyother day of the year I would sit on her a wash it off!

Very glad to hear it Veiled. I'm sure she will go kicking and screaming. We are here for you in whatever capacity you need us!

Bec