Hope Anthony feels better.

Wishes she could curl back up in bed.

Still numb, still very abstract.

Huge setback today.....Lost. So alone, lonely and afraid...so very, very sad..Frightened. Unable to think clearly this evening.

curls up with goingonhope

Lets be lost together.

I don't want to go home. I don't want to deal with everyones crap but most of all I want to stop feeling alone.

I have been struggling with my chemical system short-circuiting quite a bit this past week.....A couple of weeks ago I decided that I would ask my psychodoc if I could go of one of my meds.....I felt that it would be helpful for me to get into a couple of traumatic incidents in my early years and talk about them....and I felt that all the meds were keeping me away from being able to do that.....So he suggested the Remeron....about the first week of it....I didn't know much difference....I was able to draw up a short bit of a time-line....I really talked about some incidents lst Thursday with my therapist....I had started a few days before that with some physiological symptoms....and over the weekend all hell broke loose!!!! I was experiencing severe pain throughout my body and all around me.....OUCH!!!!! It is not the sort of pain that any sort of :pills: could take care of....so I went back on the Remeron in absolute necessity!!!! I did not want to but my nervous system was having a HISSY-FIT!!!!! I went to my psychodoc Monday and he said that it was okay for me to have gone back on the Remeron....so since I have struggled with my body systems as they all readjust....I've had some viscious nightmares since about 5 days off the R.....the one has just STUCK with me.....2 days I've spent time hauling some of a friend's stuff to her new place about 8 miles south of here....more hell!!!! Today we got lossed on the way back somehow...we ended up way south west of here before I figured out we were lost....of course my friend is trying to figure out how and why we got lost and I had to cut her off [she is easily offended] twice as I told here it doesn't matter now....I have to be calm to figure out the way back....she had her ideas and I finally said for her not to say anything else.....she was miffed but FINALLY shut TFU!!!! and I got us back even though I was a bit tense as I was watching the gas gauge shift lower and lower.....I will not take her anywhere again!!!! I kept nicely telling her yesterday and today that once inside my van...It's MY DOMAIN!!!! I make all the decisions!!!! She was P'O'd when I said that....but that's something I insist on!!!! :boxem: I was way late to my writing group....but I wasn't going to let all the hassles keep me from going....that helped me to feel better and I am glad that I went!! as for my friend:up-yours: This afternoon I see my casemanager here at 2pm and my therapist at 5:30 pm.....Damn!!! It has been so f'king hard to leave my apt. as I feel so irritable and agitated!!!! This am I had to go back to bed and ended up under my huge fluffy blanket with my oldest bunny and just was frantically rocking myself with my feet for about an hour....what a bitch of a time!!!!! This :fight: is what is going to happen to the next a**hole that gets anywhere near me for the next few days!!!!!

Wildfire, I hear you.
I rarely drive anyone anywhere, for that exact reason.
MY vehicle... MY decisions, lol

Woke up feelig like absolute crap this morning.
Cancelled my therapist appointment and plan on just staying home.
Last week I had a very minor "operation" done on the bottom of my foot.
Everything was going great (foot didn't hurt at all!)...
until my boyfriend accidentally stepped on it last night. OUCH

Reopened the wound, and now I'm running a fever.
Better not be an infection... I'll be chocked!

Life just doesn't seem fair... I'm was so good about my bad foot...
I didn't complain about it at all...
so just as things seem to be OK, I have to hurt it worse...
not fair.

Sorry that most of you are having a rough time. Please take care. Anthony is still unwell and now the little one, Alexander, has the chicken pox!! Teenager is away at the moment and I think I will check with his mum to see if he has had it. Have to keep baby in utero until all infectious chicken pox is gone from the house and here I was thinking I was ready to go!!

oh wow, Kerrie...sorry to hear that the little one has chix pox....but, he's young and the young ones tend to have mild cases of it...

my girls got the vaccine for it...

I had it as a small child...then again when I ws 38!! Go figure...I am one of the "small percent" of people whose immunity to it wears off...

I hope Anthony has already had it!

Hell, I'm on the other end of the scale. Never got the pox but I have had the virus.


Gack. Cut last night after a nightmare. I have got to find a more nicer way of regaining calmness. At least one of the cuts are deep enough to need stitches, if I felt like dragging my ass to the doctor. At least it's stopped ozing now.
Sorry for the description guys.

Bro is seriously making me consider murder. He just makes me so damned uncomfortable all the time.

Arrgh.
On a good note, I did buy some sheet music (I play flute). It's evenescence, the music from the first albumn.

Just woke up... so far so good, LOL

Just got a call the unevil ex is at ER, I have to get kids and do the pick up for our foods. May have to piss off hubs and call him home... again. I can't do it.