Thanks guys and girls, feeling much better. Saddam... shithot, hope the neck doesn't break straight away either, just so he can suffer some pain for the pain he has caused so many innocent people.

oopps just saw this. Just up "loving insomnia". Get a couple hours of a good nap and my body thinks it is readyto go for another 24...

But it is nice little one got up to find me and hear her laugh in her sleep.

Yes, I think a nice slow rise, no bottom drop on him. This world is just f*ed up.

Feeling good. Still here with babe intact, have to wait until the chicken pox episode is over. Don't want the newborn getting chicken pox! Poor little mite, the spots are driving him crazy and trying to keep a toddler from scratching is almost impossible. Anthony as you are aware is a lot better, thank god. No chance he was getting out of this birth, sick or not!! As for him not getting too much rest soon, don't feel too bad for him. Our babies are breastfed which means that since Daddy doesn't have the right equipment not much he can do, might as well sleep!! Almost two years of sleep deprivation for me (as Alexander has only just started sleeping through) and some more to come. That's alright I have told Anthony that after the b/f is over, any sickness, illness, sleepless nights with babies, children or teenagers will be his. I will have done my penance!

Hope you are all feeling a little better today. You take care Veiled. If rest is what you need then rest is what you must do. You and Anthony would make a fine pair!

Do not miss pregnancy or new born poop. But breast feeding. I think those moments kept me sane. Hormones or what ever is going on. It was just pure and peaceful. Calmed my mind and soul. I miss those bonding moments.

I hated I had to wean little one early. And actually I think there was a correlation. As she was eating a lot more solids and not so much momma I went through that cycle again and crashed and had to do a cold turkey wean as they medicated me. Very hard and felt so unfair.

Cherish every moment that lil' one wakes you, and yeah guys who have momma do the breast route do get off easy! But they don't get the luxury of those feelings so unique to it...

So happy for ya'll and can't wait to hear the news. Just remember there is no "due date", baby decides that. Before it was a 4 week time frame you could expect the little one. I was "past due" and annoyed... I was so ready for her to be out. teen boy was mad as he has his birthday in December too and pouted I may ruin his birthday. They have the dates a week apart. But all I could tell him was you lil' ass I never had my own BD I had to share it with sis!

And glad to hear you did the tummy cast. Was on my to do list but things were a cluster (in this house?). I really regret not doing it because there are no more babies from here if I have a say.

I will take care. Hubs off today so I will get rest. You to need to rest and take care. You have your hands full so many bo bos to kiss. I was lucky no pox. For some reason females on my mom's side never got it after exposure. My oldest girl got it but just one pox spot. First for generations from what I was told. Teen boy got it. But I run if I see a kid with them now, no point in tempting fate.

Doing well here. Hub says I'm starting to stress a bit and I tend to get a bit quiet when I do that. It's a good stress though. It just means I have things to do that require some thought.

I breastfed my little one right through the meds against doctor's advice. Can you believe that? I really thought that if I quit nursing her, I'd be in the hospital. That little girl that needed me so much kept me sane. I did my own research about meds while nursing and find that everything has it's risk. Mine just happens that the risk of me dying from not breastfeeding was higher than my child being at risk while nursing with drugs. This however, is very hard to explain to a pill pusher psychiatrist. My little one is now two and still nurses every once in a while. Amazingly I still have milk even if she doesn't nurse for weeks. (I swear I'll be lactating until I'm sixty....) She especially needs it after a nightmare and I'm glad that I can help her ease back into sleep. I wish I had something so comforting like that to go back to sleep after a terror dream.

Guess the weekend caught up with me this afternoon. I spent quite a while walking around the back yard thinking and working through things in my mind. It was beautiful outside today. When I came back inside, hubby wanted to know what was up. So I told him-with the stipulation that if he asked, he got told the truth. We had a good talk...both got things off of our chests without raised voices. Nice to be back to 'us' for a change.

I taught both girls how to change the dressings on their dad's burns in case I'm not around. He could do it in a pinch, but it's easier for someone else to do it. I'm also getting pretty good at wrapping his legs up. I told him it's a good thing I like ancient Egypt since it feels like I'm mummifiying him.

Fairly good day, I must say. Mostly bc my husband engaged the kids, freeing up much needed time for me. I too had a great time, well with my son this afternoon. He and I played tickling games, for quite sometime. He encourages and loves this. Oh' yeah, and him and my daughter spent time writing out lists for Santa. With catologues, paper and pen in hands they set about to write a wish list knowing full well that only some gifts would hopefully be forthcoming, come X'mas. Not their fault they want anything, believe me they've been encouraged all the way from people like me and extended family. Ah' not such a good value, but I taught it anyways. And, something that has made this day especially good is that I'm not going about my days acting and pretending anymore to be calm, cool and collect like nothing bothers me, I feel nothing and you can't reach me. Doing my best to be myself and allow myself to be vulnerable...Every day vulnerable. Something I've never encouraged or invited before in my life, until I actually understood something vital from within this forum. Simply allowing myself to be vulnerable (within reason), I'll tell you is making me a lot less tired. I've been exhausting myself for too long hopelessly pretending.

I feel very depressed today :( my husband and i are just not getting along.... we fought all weekend...and this wednesday the 8th is 4years that we have been married....dont know if to ignore the day or say something...might actually be unappropriate to say something i guess.....i feel hurt and i dont think we will last too much longer....i am starting to feel very distant (as im sure he is) and he doesnt believe me when i tell him i do not want to be around for when he gets so angry to the point where he gets violent (i feel it will get worse, and i am scared) i wish there was something to save our marriage because i really do love him and i know he is the one for me....

andrea, if not already so, please see if you can get some marriage counseling,if he has a therapist already that might be the best way. praying for your marriage. why don't you go ahead and give him at least a card. if you don't, he may read that as an "i don't want this any more". we can be a little more paranoid than the average bear.

Not doing so hot today. Kinda slipped a bit. Losing momentum from the previous awesome week. I hope to get that energy and motivation back because along with it came confidence, and that is HUGE for me.