Andrea,

I hope things work out for you. I wish I could help. Just keep checking in here. You aren't alone.. spouses suffer almost as much as the PTSD sufferers do.

HUGS --- I will sent my prayers for a happy outcome and a great hoiday for you...

D

Andrea, I agree with what 'critter said. We will all be thinking of you.
K.

Hi Wildcritter,
Thanks to you and Tig for thinking of me :)
I have heard of "triggers" my hubby talks about that all the time...and yes for a long while my hubby didnt know what his triggers where, but i think he has a better understanding now as well as i do.
My husband was diagnosed with PTSD this year due to being in the military and serving over seas in Iraq.....On top of that, just like yourself i dont know what i can do to help him (im sure you have learned here though that he can only help himself) and i am not much of a supporter considering all the issues i have as well :( What your husband is going through must be horrible...to live with those horrible memories every single day must be hell :( All you can do is stay by his side like you have been....Is he getting help? or has he? i hope so....it may not go away completely, but i have learned that getting help makes life a little bit easier..... DD (my husband) goes to therapy at the VA on thursdays and it has helped him alot...he looks forward to going and talking to other vets now, that can relate to how he feels....
just make sure he is trying to help himself, we cant do much but give them the support they need.
Thank You

and Veiled, again... you are an amazing person and i always look forward to reading your thoughts and how you see things...you make alot of sense and are very helpful, and are very appreciated :)
~Hugs~

Hi Andrea,

Your post touched a chord - I'm suffering similarly in my relationship with my fiance, though I push less and she does hold hands and occasionally cuddle. But flirting, desire, and lovemaking come with long waits in between, and sometimes she will go a long time without expressing any sign of desire for me. It's very difficult. We're in our twenties too, and I want so badly to enjoy being young with her.

A few days ago she committed to trying to flirt or show desire more. She said she thought she was ready to. It's going a bit rough so far, and I have forgotten how to trust her. :(

That must be why I'm struggling with trying to have patience. I feel so beat up and alone inside that I've forgotten how to trust. How to trust that she'll be there with me.

She has nightmares every night - about being raped, usually about me raping her. :( No wonder she doesn't want to come anywhere near me. I miss the passion in our relationship.

I feel very alone. It's good to know there are others feeling this way. I wish I could make up my mind how to react and how to go on. I feel completely stalled and stuck and exhausted.

Welcome aboard feelingalone, glad to see another spouse here.

Andrea,

I am learning how to do some cool things here... In answer to a question my hubby is ranger2_75 Army airborne out of the army in 97. He's disabled 60%.
We just transferred from VA in one spot to another location (our choice). We are hoping to get better treatment from this new to us facility. So far as of the 12-15-06 the new DR issued several prescriptions. Now seeming like a RX he isn't real happy, however; able to better cope with some of the pain. The MRI is set for the 9th of Jan. Hoping that will at least give us the info as to WHY he is having the back pain. Then it will be process to see what can be done to fix the problem.

I have read numerous of your postings, but can't remember reading any of the Desertdeller posts.
I agree that your hubby and mine would probably have a lot in common. The military seems to be really great at "throwing away our guys" especially those with "PTSD". My hubby's PTSD is not yet acknowledged by the VA as part of his disablility. How can they not acknowledge it? Going in Circles? YES! He has pain as a result of a parachuting accident (while in the army).
As a result of his pain, I sometimes chose not to hurt him more on a physical basis by being intimate. He's sometimes not happy about that.:frown:
Of course, I don't get to be happy either !
To avoid pain, or to be blissful for a little while that is the question?

we will have to let our guys talk their Military stuff...

hugs to you and yours hope things are getting better....


D (wildcritter)

:cool:

Feelingalone,
was hoping to hear from you....
Looks like we are in the same situation (im sure many of us are) thats why i wanted to read more about you and what you are going through and also wanted to see how things are going for the two of you lately...
My hubby has been pretty good about showing some type of affection (he hugs me whenever i want a hug and stuff) but i must admit that lately its me that cannot approach him like he would like because of everything that has happened between us so for that reason we dont get to be intimate much.....It does worry me because we are in out 20's and if it doesnt get better now...dont know if it ever will :(
wildcritter,
how are you doing?? i guess i came across this subject and am bothered by it again...it comes and goes.... dont know what to do.....

Hi Andrea have a look at the thread I started ( Am I being a bitch? Straining our marriage)
I have been going through this and we have been married 25 years. As Anthony said in one of his replies I was treading on thin ice.
Jen

Hi Jen,
Thank you! I have read your thread and i have posted my opinion...I guess i need to re-read it... i feel lost right now, as if i have no idea where i stand :(