Had a phone call whilst shopping yesterday!!!!!! Hubby called - got straight to the point - "would like to come for a short while on christmas day to put some presents under the tree and exchange gifts"!!!!!! I have only seen him for approx 2hours in total in seven weeks and he requests this. I am pleased of course I am....but he is nasty and agressive with me - he always has a "go" at whatever I say.... So what the hell do I do?????

I have discussed it with the kids and they say whatever is going to make us happiest on the day - we never expected him to want to be here so we have planned our day I dont want him to not be included but there is no civility in him for me........and this now.


I want it to be a happy family time - our kids deserve it we have had a nasty last few years....but we are all concerned he will make us on edge and spoil the day... I have a real dilemma here .. I want him of couse I do but ....peace is needed help out guys any thoughts....? Dont want to leave him out either ...... OH Happy Bloody Christmas:drugs: champagne more like and lots of it - buckets full bubbles everywhere ha

Hannah, set some boundries.

Explain to him how you would love to have him there BUT... he needs to behave in a certain manner (being civil, not nagging, not starting fights etc.. and be specific) or he will not be able to be there. Make him agree or don't let him come. Once he agrees, if he breaks his end of his bargain, give him a reminder of your deal with him. If that doesn't give him an attitude change, ask him to leave immediatly. Period.

I know this sounds mean or tough, but it is neccessary. Set your boundries and stick to them. It will be very hard if you have never done it before (and he will be shocked at your back bone! LOL) but will have great long term effects.

You can do this. Give it a try...

Bec