Well thank you. I am very proud of my kids.

I'm sure she appreciates that. The forum and the people on it mean a great deal to her.

Not at all, veiled. I'm grateful to you and WF for the input. Much appreciated. It's never been my intention to be violent towards my niece. Quite frankly, slapping her was a reflex reaction on my part, and not something I'm particularly proud of. I've no plans to do it again.

Having trouble keeping up with all the messages in this thread, but I thank you GR'ass and Marlene as well, and hope I haven't left anyone out.

Jim.

Triggers, ladies, triggers!! I know this is a tough one to get.. but there is a difference here. (if I hadn't gone to school for this.. I would be reacting the same way...)

There is a difference between just screaming and hysterical screaming. A very big one. PTSD screaming (LOL, now which of us hasn't done this???) will calm down after a bit, without being slapped or grabbed etc.. Hysterical screaming does not. It doesn't stop until you pass out or something happens to make you quit. I know that just reading the first post, you probably don't see the difference, but I did right off the bat. Slapping someone who goes into hysterical screaming is a first instinct and is not violence. It's just like our programming for survival, same type of instincts. He had to do something and without the prevous knowledge of the 'hug' or otherwise, there was no choices there. Now he has choices. This was a first and only step, now comes the harder stuff! Anyways, back to my point. Hysterical screaming is a different experience (yep, I've been there.. very nasty.) When I went there, I was aware that I was screaming and it was blood curdiling, but I could not stop. It was like watching myself. When this starts, the person is beyond any sense of control, sense of self, anything. It's like the shell is reacting while the mind left. You have to get the mind back. So, I realize this seems violent to everyone, but it's not. I do not suggest it becomes the common method to deal with it but for the first or second time, there is nothing wrong with it. It's not going to damage the person, it's helping them temporailly by shocking them.

Hey, which reminds me, JIM, try throwing cold water and the like on here also if this happens again. That could also work.

Bec

Becvan, thank you for your understanding. Yes, it was instinct, reflex, however you want to say it. Not to mention after midnight, and I've no doubt, had she continued, the police would have been at our doorstep, as it sounded like she was being murdered. Truthfully, it was a painful reminder of the screaming I've heard while deployed. Not like "normal" screaming by any means.

Jim.

Whoa weirdness to come on here and find this big huge thread that's basically about me... I'm kind of embarrassed. But I'm glad Uncle posted and got lots of replies. I guess you guys already know what happened, he described it pretty well. He came home from the base, let me search him, I searched the truck too and found no weapons so I thought I was cool with it. But then I don't know... I just started feeling majorly upset, and it kind of went downhill from there.

One thing though - the slap - it really didn't hurt me. Actually I don't even remember feeling it. I was having an out of body experience while I was screaming and all it did was bring me back to earth. He felt bad about it too. He apologized later. Anyways I'm not upset with him so please don't anyone feel upset either.

Well that's it from me for now. I'm still not feeling like myself. I probably won't be on much for the next few days. But I just wanted to check in briefly. Thanks for caring everyone.

Bec and bat I really get the out of control thing and so much the lack of memory... Hubs held me while he cried over busted walls and windows through my house and I said I don't really remember it, I wore my self out.

Bec I think we all get hysterical, I did not know we did not get that way with loss of memory!! I thought it was normal. That is how I took it and saw it as a ride it out thing, hubs has with me. I have managed to do it alone and him see the aftermath. He has not been around much for a long long time for first hand.

I have begged hubs to get on here again and he says he will when we get to Kansas... Yeah we were suposed to be there by now but here I am in Texas still. Not that I want y'all to know all my fk ups, but I really think he can help y'all know how to handle us even if it isn't fun (not like he is a saint) but I tink he can help out and with you Jim... It is a bitch of a road. ANd if you see a goofy ass name claiming to be my hubs... well, it is him!

Sadly you cannot react, you have to retrain yourself just like the guys returning to civilian life. Not easy for any, I wish you both the best of luck. Batgirl is a strong one, maybe she takes after her unc.

Veiled, my niece has mentioned memory loss to me on several occasions. You are certainly not alone in that. As far as her being strong, I dearly hope so. The alternative is not pleasant to think about. I look forward to reading more from you and your husband. Much appreciated.

Well. Just when Kathy and I thought it was over, and were thinking pretty highly of ourselves and our efforts, it started again. Just got through a long period of unconsolable crying. No screaming or violent behaviour of any kind, but a lot of tears. Suppose I started it really. Niece locked herself in her bedroom and would not respond when we called to her. I got the screwdriver and removed the doorknob. She was only lying down quietly, but I had a bad feeling about the door being locked. She was angry with me for breaking down the door, then cried. After talking to her for a while, she stated the shooting, the whole incident, is her fault entirely. She has a very elaborate story and reasons as to why. Really, I was quite stunned she'd given it that much thought, down to minute details. We weren't certain what to say to her, telling her no it wasn't your fault just made her cry more. So we let her say her peace and cry and eventually she fell asleep again.

Maybe I should have discouraged her from coming on the forum earlier today. She wanted to. Could have triggered her though.

Jim.

Sometimes saying nothing and just being present is all we want, actualy that is usually all we want, let her therapy work out with her why this is not her fault, it is normal to have survivors guilt... Oh, and personal space is a huge biggie. hugs to y'all.

Thanks for the compliment!!! I haven't posted much recently....tried to keep up on the reading of the posts....I ran into a depressive period and ended up in the hospital for 4 days including Thanksgiving....wasn't back to usual self when I came home.....usually the last day that I've been in my sense of humor not only comes back...but it's off the wall....Not this time...The Dr there left it up to me if I wanted to stay the weekend or not....I told him I was okay....that weekend there was to be no rec therapist in...so the only thing left to do would have been to color for 2 days....this time I wasn't even in the mood to start that let alone have that as my only source of entertainment.....Most every other patient went home that day....of the other 2 people left...one was not very present in reality...so it was rather impossible to carry on a conversation with...AND the other guy [I accidently overheard] had molested some one.....I was out of there!!!!! I dragged awhile just PM ing occasiionally....talked about a med adjustment with my psychodoc...so he decided to up my Remeron a bit....so after a couple of weeks now my mood has picked up considerably....in spite of the fact that 2 weeks ago I had a freak fall at home and now have lost the use of my shoulder due to major muscle and bone bruising....can't drive so my independence has been severely curtailed...I finally got processed by a healthcare agency and got an aide who first came on this past Wednesday....But I had some knowledge about what I've learned about hysterics and some ideas to deal with such a situation....I am a person of PEACE and believe that the gentlelest ways needs to be applied first in difficult situations....So I am going to start writing on my book tomorrow...at least that's my plan....I sure hate having to take the Vicodin and have tried 3 times to deal with the pain with less than the prescribed dosage...but the pain keeps coming back with a vengance!!! It's the sort of injury that one has to wait to settle in and heal....ENOUGH already!!! I endured this for 2 weeks now so NOW I want the whole area to be cured and back to normal IMMEDIATELY!!!!! Nerves!!!! DO YOU HEAR THAT!!!!.....Yes right now I am finally done with the waiting!!!! ...wildfirewildone....GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

gives Batgirl tight hugs

wildfireone gets hugs too.

Think it'd be bad to pike out of a big family christmas? Could always blame a migraine since PTSD is all in my head. Which, it is technically.