Thanks Hope. I think some people got hurt by what I said and I regret their hurt, but I don't regret saying it, it was how I was feeling at the time and I tried to be tactful. I wish I could say I was feeling better about it now, but that would be dishonest, I still feel differently and like I don't fit in at times, although I'm working on changing my attitude.

That's cool you can relate to me Andre, I do with you as well. Part of it though might be age as you say, health issues, and also the fact that we like the same anime! :)

Andre, I don't think you should doubt what you're capable of. I understand feeling that way because I have done it lots, especially lately, but please don't give up on yourself. And thank you for reminding me that everything will be okay. You're right, I have been questioning that a lot lately... and this sounds weird to say but I think I have a broken heart. Anyways you take care of yourself as well.

Anthony has opened my eyes and many other people's eyes to the one single issue that has brought us all together. It is not the cause of our PTSD, it is the results that bring us together. When I first found this forum I wasn't even sure that I belonged here with the rest of the members. My cause is lost in that strange world called Amnesia. I have no clue to my cause, but yet I can identify with and communicate with anyone here. The result of our traumas have caused us to all suffer the same fate and we lean on and learn from each other on a daily basis. I looked back on my posts and I found that I was looking for answers, not someone with no memory. I was asking questions of people who were here longer than I. Some people had what I was looking for and some did not. But we as a group are here to try and help each other thru go AND bad times. So let's help HERC

I agree, HERC. I really appreciate Anthony's approach to this forum (which is one reason I joined it). I've been amazed at how much I identify with people here who have been through all kinds of bad experiences, not just the kind I've been through. It's been so helpful to be able to come to this daily, powerful evidence that I'm not alone and to communicate with others who have the same symptoms and struggles, regardless of the source.

Oh Hodge, how you do get to the point. Love it and you are so right! Try as they might, most people, be them family or friends just don't-can't-understand all of this. Now we are able to express what is inside at any point in time and know someone will answer with a "you go girl" or a note of support. This is the only forum I belong to but I think it is the only one I need. We are all good for eachother HERC

I can't help but feel that way. I have this need to know if anyone else has survived an ordeal like mine. Being degraded by the police, I can't help but feel if i were one of the ones found dead, like Carlie Brucia, I would not have been blamed for what happened to me. To this day I feel everything I say is subject to scrutinization. I don't feel credible, no matter how truthful I am. For years I've wondered how many there might be like me.
I read about the dangers of looking for like sufferers and making my PTSD somehow "special" and all, and how all experiences are different, but I can't stop wondering if there are others like me.

Im new to all of this. Always have known I was very different to most people. When you hear of PTSD in puplic you only here about vets and raped victioms. Not Adult childhood victoms. So I made a stupid intro. Not really reading just introducing myself. SO after I started reading I realize thier are people simalar things have happen to them. Not the same but simalar. I didnt feel so alone and felt as if I have found a place that I belong. Their are other Furums just for vets and rape victoms. I felt so alone at that point. Then I found this place.

So I am learning from everyone here with common symptoms. Its nice to find a place where you can relate. I relate to everyone in some strange way. No matter how they got here.

I apoligized for not being a vet in my intro. How stupid? I have been raped but I had this long before. So maybe you need some sence of someone getting here in a simalar manner. I really did. Even if symptom are the same it made a life changing difference for me to read Candys intro. I knew I suffered from every symtom that vets had. I found a Vet and PTSD doctor. I knew that I could relate to him with symptoms. But felt alone in how i got here.I have never heard of child abuse causing this before now. Honestly all I knew about PTSD was my symtoms.

Tiana and nurse1, welcome to the forum! I hope you both get as much out of it as I have.

Actually Tiana I do understand how you feel, my own trauma is a rather uncommon one, my father murdered my family one night, and tried to murder me as well before turning the gun on himself. I was the only survivor. Sounds like an episode of CSI. In real life it's difficult to meet another person with a similar experience. There are other family shootings, but usually there are no survivors. I do sometimes wonder about other people with a similar experience, and if they feel the same as I do.

Yes I think this is one of the main reasons people want to find like sufferers, they want to be validated. Also, for me anyways, there is a constant urge to compare myself with others. I want to see how I measure up. But both of these thinking patterns are incorrect. You don't need validation of this kind, your trauma is yours alone and even if someone shared a very similar experience it would not be the same as yours, as we are all different people. By the same token, comparing yourself to other people is also wrong. We are all individuals, we react and heal at different paces. That's why it's so important to look at the symptoms and the illness itself, rather than how we got the illness.

Think about it this way... if this was a support group for cancer survivors, we wouldn't be dwelling on how we got cancer, but rather on how we survived, the treatments we were receiving, the pain and other symptoms we were experiencing, etc. Think of your PTSD in the same way. I know it's difficult though, I struggle with it myself still, all the time.

Well nurse, initially it was good for you to read of another's similar experience, because it helped you to realize that you had PTSD too, just like a military person. However, now that you know people who are raped can also have PTSD, do you still feel the need to identify only with people who have been raped? I think you answered that for yourself when you said you relate to everyone here in a strange way. You just needed more information on PTSD I think, and its different causes.

Anyways, just my thoughts, a little convoluted as I'm coming out of a difficult period myself right now. Take care, both of you.

Everything you said here makes perfect logical sense. I find myself coming on the forum again and again to posts I've made, just to read posts from people who have words of wisdom over and over. It really helps to get through bad times (basically when I wake to when I get some sleep), and it really helps knowing others are getting better perspective on this. It's going to take some work on my part to get over the event part and focus on the symtoms. I'm hoping EMDR therapy will help with that as well.

Thanks so much, batgirl! And nurse1 as well

Yes batgirl. I hope I made myself clear in trying to say I thought that most PTSD was caused by rape of serving at war time. Until this Forum

Was good to know that I was not the only one screwed from childhood.

No two people have had the same trama. That kinda crazy ha?

But let me clear something up and say that I can relate to everyone here about symptoms. And I am learning from everyone. No matter what they went threw.

It is not about what I went threw for me but about getting better.

Thanks for the Welcome everyone

Well back when I was 27 I wanted to meet someone who went through worst then I did. I wanted to not be on the top of the list of life's crap list, I met a girl and thought good, see now I know I'm not the worst one, she is, and felt better, til I realized, no I'm still at the top. But it was the hope that someone else got in my boat that I could pal around with.
Now at 44, and having dealt with myself more, I still haven't met, and would pitty anyone who went through my life, but accept more of myself, and that's all I need to do.
Don't know how many times I passed the pearly gates, but they obviously don't want me there yet.
Practical jokers they are.
Anyway I know my spot up there is reserved, so this is just cake walking now, accept for dealing with the past, don't ya just love someone saying "Forget your past, move on." errrrrrrr
Or God only gives you what you can handle, well I can't always handle it, endure, I do, handle sometimes not.
They are just pat answers to someone who does not understand, bless the ignorant, aren't they cute.
I was so blessed to have Sarge, (Harold Schaffer, God rest his soul) a veitnam veteran who became my mental mentor and never was too busy to help show me paths I couldn't see.
So since I could never thank him enough, I pass on the golden nuggets he showed me to others, to help diminish mental suffering.
There is a measuring stick, but it should be used individually only. To help gauge recovery, not determine who has deeper scars.
I hold my scars like badges, in the end I won, (even though this is not the case day to day) I walked away, scathed but not spiritually broken, just a mental mess. I am broken and love myself that way, just fine.
God bless all,
White Wolf aka Donna-Lynne