Hi folks, my name is Scott. I suffer from Combat Stress due to my time when I served with the British Army in Bosnia. My wife is a new member as well her name is Kim.
I served in the army for 15 years and during that time I was relatively happy. I served in the 1st Gulf War and I was ok there. But it was serving in Bosnia the following year that screwed me up so to speak.
The incident happened in January 1993 shortly after we deployed there as part of the UN Peacekeeping Force. One night we were evacuating civillians from a small town. It was like Armaggedon. Fire, Explosions, and constant gun fire. I saw a young girl, she was only 4. And I gave her a bar of chocolate from my ration pack. As she went to pick the choc. She dropped her doll, and I bent down to pick it up. And that split second a snipers bullet rang out and shot the little girl through the head. I have lived with that image in my head for 12 years, and sometimes I wish that the bullet ahd hit me and spared the little girl's life. But, it wasn't to be. If anybody can give me any help I would be grateful. I am now finally recieving treatment for my condition at a treatment centre called Hollybush House, which is just down the road for me in the next town here in Scotland. This place deals with former soldiers, sailors and airmen who suffer from Combat Stress. I have been twice in the last year, and I'm due in again in February which I'm looking forward to.
Thank you for reading my moans, but I need help and hopefully you can give me lots of advice.
Thanks
Scott Fraser

Welcome to the forum, Scott. There is a lot of advice to be found here. You can and will find a lot of supportive people too. Never pretty how we got here either. Look forward to hearing more from you.

Welcome Scott, Things like that stick with you forever. Iv'e seen my share too. Stay with the treatment. You'll find some of the members here have much in common.

Hi Scott, welcome to the forum mate. Scott, I too am a veteran and have healed my trauma, and you can certainly do the same. Trauma is really about partly what you mentioned, survivor guilt, fear of our past and generally the majority is a buildup of negative emotions. I know, I know... there's that word emotions. I have never been, nor really still am, an emotional person, but I know that you must atleast look at your emotions to heal, hence what I have done. Negative emotion is what inflames PTSD, provokes it if you like, and that provokation is what causes PTSD itself to expand and overflow our internal stress cup, so to speak. This is all encompasses in this great word, "trauma", which many think is unique, but in fact is far from it. Whilst how we all got to obtaining PTSD itself is unique and never two are the same, the end result, the feelings, the symptoms we suffer, are all the same, hence why PTSD is the focus. By looking at our own unique circumstances and how we arrived at PTSD itself, is to break down and apply known methods uniquely to ourselves, again; no two people suffer the exact same trauma emotionally.

Mate, let me just say, hope does exist, and you can heal trauma and learn how to manage PTSD to live life once again. Both are unique, have no doubt, and healing past pain does not mean PTSD will go away, because PTSD itself is now unique within us, being the chemical imbalance within our brain. The trauma is not permanent, that we can heal and remove, the PTSD we cannot, however; by knowing how to manage PTSD, you can live life without daily symptoms, it just takes a little time. The average time to heal trauma is around 12 months, and it normally takes a few years to gradually learn how to manage PTSD itself by living life. I say this, because we must rid the trauma and fear first, so that we can get into life without the panic attacks, without the repercussions of waking up a day or two later depressed, and the miriad of symptoms associated, ie. flashbacks, nightmares and so forth.

Hope exists mate... welcome to your own new beginning. Like anything, healing PTSD and getting back into life is painful, though rewarding at the end. It is short term pain for long term gain, no doubts at all. The pain will be intense in order to heal, and only you can do that, nobody can make you. If you want to beat this shit mate, then we can certainly help you achieve that.

Welcome, Scott. Not moans...just honesty.

hey scott, welcome to the forum. this is a good place, welcome to your wife, Kim, too!
cathy

Hi Anthony, how are you. Thanks for your reply and advice. Like you say it will take time and patience. But I just have to hang in there and try and keep going.
But as I said in my post, I wish that the bullet had hit me and not the little girl. Because of my generosity a young girl died, and I will live with that forever.
Take care
Scott Fraser

Hi Cookie. Thanks, look forward to hearing from you again.
Cheers
Scott Fraser

Welcome Scott, I hope you enjoy the forum. Both my uncles and my father served in the Balkans... one was in Bosnia, one in Croatia, and my father in Kosovo. So I've heard a lot about the area. My father got PTSD, although I think it was from his time in Rwanda rather than Kosovo.

That's really sad about the little girl. But you know it really isn't your fault. That's just war unfortunately.

Hi Scott,
Haven't been on the forum recently, but just wanted you to know that I feel for you as that is a hard reality to deal with, everyone has probably already told you this but, Things happen for a reason, You lived so try to make the most of your life as you know how precious life is. and how quickly it can end. Easy for me to say harder to put the philosophy in to practice. I know anyways welcome to the forum everyone here is really great.