Since the Saturday before New Years when my SIL had a heart attack, an article I read here about PTSD/heart disease has been in the back of my mind. Now I know that, logically, my SIL has other health issues that I do not share, but I think the fact that we are both the same age (38) did a little spook on me.

I received confirmation from several sources that the article was, indeed, correct. Also that treatment (meds, therapy) decrease the risks. OK. So at lunch yesterday I sat down and really thought about it. A-I'm doing what I can to get better (meds, therapy), B-Physically I'm strong and healthy. C-There comes a point where you just have to say 'It is what it is' and know that ultimately, most things in life are out of my control (other than my reaction).

I'm not quite sure what my thinking this through did, but I triggered something beause my afternoon was spent fighting anxiety (and, of course, in the midst of it I forgot that when you fight it, it gets worse). The only thing I can think of is that it has to do with my fear of illness/pain (this came about after watching my father and sister die painful deaths from illness within 12 months of each other). I even ended up taking an extra dose of my anti-anxiety meds just to get through the day.

I got home, changed my clothes, laid down on the bed and was so exhausted that I was asleep almost instantly for about an hour and a half. I missed my fencing class and my husband was telling me 'When you feel bad, those are the days when you need to go out and do things.' While I agree on principle, trying to explain that I couldn't go because once I woke up it was all I could do to stay awake seemed to fall on deaf ears. *sigh* After 20 years of marriage, we were at that point where our communication was at that almost psychic level (finish each other's sentences, a look communicating exactly what the other is feeling/thinking, etc.) Now in the last six months, it's like we've had to relearn (actually still in the learning phase) how to communicate with each other. It's frustrating on both ends. Sometimes pretty damned frustrating.

I'm sure I'm not the first one to say this here...but PTSD really blows!!!!!!!!

Marlene,
I've also heard the same thing! Stress CAN cause heart attacks, which makes me worry, too! i worry about the future if my stress level stays the same as it's been for the last 18 or 19 years of my 29 year old life!!

I also take extra anxiety meds when i need to, but only when i REALLY NEED to; for i don't want to become too addicted to benzos! i even hold off on taking them in certain situations because some situations i need to get through on my own, without the tranquilizers, to get over my fear of that situation; e.g. driving into the city where i got robbed and beaten half to death.
You are totally correct in saying that "PTSD really blows!!!!!!!!"
Take care and hang in there, Marlene!!

Josh

Thanks, Josh.

Marlene..

I was put on Ativan last week because my anxiety attacks were so bad that my heart hurt and wouldn't stop hurting.. I worry about it quite a bit.. I think the big key here is trying to keep our stress down as much as possible and work through our trauma.. other than that .. what more can we do?

bec

Not much...and I'm working on getting that through my thick skull. Also if I have to take an extra dose of my anti-anxiety meds, then so be it. I'm also working on getting it through my thick skull that extra meds don't equal weakness. Ah, the control/perfectionist monster raises its ugly head again. *sigh* It can go away anytime now!