Hullo, I'm Brian. I'm brand new here, my cousin is Batgirl on the forum. I'm staying with her as she's currently having a hard time and shouldn't be alone. I have a question about how to deal with her. She has a serious trouble distinguishing between reality and dreams. She often sees her dad, who is dead, outside in the yard or standing in the doorway. Today she had a dream about her stomach. In the dream there is a "squishy bag" she calls it, and it was alive and running around on the floor. Well she woke up, and it took almost two hours for her to realize that squishy bag was not real. I did as I usually do, which is humour her about it. I looked under the bed and in the closet for the squishy bag and told her I'd kill if I saw it. When she's seen her dad I've done a similar thing, which is told her I'd protect her from him. This seems to calm her. But I wonder if this is the right approach, or should I be saying, bullshit kid, there's nothing there, you're imagining things.

Thanks, Brian

Hi Brian:

First, when Bat see's her Dad it's probably a flashback not a hallucination. The dream thing, well i get like that sometimes where I haven't actually woken up entirely. It's like being halfway between dreaming and awake..

To me it sounds like your doing good however, I'm usually dealing with this all by myself so I can't really talk here. If she's not slugging you, that's a good sign.

bec

Hi bec, what is the difference between a hallucination and a flashback? I'm never able to figure that one out. Thanks I do try, and no she's not slugging me yet.

Cheers, Brian

A flashback is a memory that is intrusive and exerts itself over the "here and now." It's something that has actually happened and the person just relives it to the point that they lose the fact that it's a memory. It flashes you back.

A hallucination is not based on anything to do with reality. It's not a memory that is taking over your brain, it's some warped sense of reality that the person can not tell is not real.

Seems like a little difference, but it's actually very important to know this. If you started talking to bat about her "hallucinations" when it's flashbacks, she will feel alienated and crazy. Those of us with PTSD really don't need help in that department.

you could try telling her that it's a flashback or she is still dreaming, and keep doing what your doing. Maybe telling her will help her start to recognize the difference...

bec

Thank you for that explanation. She referred to herself as psychotic today. Maybe I am contributing to that. I will try to say flashback instead.

Cheers, Brian

I wonder: Is she being seen currently by a physician? Someone you could call and bounce this off of? Because my husband actually was in a psychotic state - and had to be hospitalized as he had lost touch with reality. He was released days later - but that was really scary. I didn't realize how bad it was - until my husbands therapist called me and said, Get him to ER - Now!

So, maybe you could check in with a professional who is caring for her?

hey Brian, glad to see you've joined.
I think you are doing the right thing-need to humor her until she gets a little better grounded. If she's getting flashbacks, she is about at the end of her (mental) tether. A soft touch and lots of patience is called for. With my spouse, I cannot remember the number of fires I looked for when she smelled smoke (an olfactory flashback), or the number of times she woke from sleep in a panic attack from nightmares.
Keep looking out for your cousin, and if I see a squishy bag thing, i"ll take care of it myself;)

Humor me, blech. Just remember these are very real for her. It will lessen in time and healing. I think "JL" up there will have to admit that. But I also am at a point my smoke smell is directly related to stress and being tired. I smell it now as I am wiped out but he doesn't point it out so I don't ask. It does not evoke the panic it once did strangely enough, I am getting used to it now that I don't feel so stigmatized by it. So hard for us to say we feel, see, smell things. You feel pretty nuts when like that.

I have to agree the gentle hand. If he told me hey it is not real, it is in my head I would panic more and feel even more out of touch and get even more panic. And Oh lord, trying to get from waking panic to reality again or waking all the way. HARD. But when I am like that he isn't sure if he should hold me or back off as I can feel like I am going to blow being touched and at times I need security. It is a mind reading act.

But think we all have bad dreams and sometimes we wake with those emotions (normal people too) so it is just a bit extra for us to shake those bad dreams.

What you are doing is good. Just love her right now. And be there for the boogey man. The rigid thing and pushing too hard can set things back as it can feel belittling and that can kill a low self esteem struggling to find air again. I know a lot of people push those they are with. When I get pushed too hard at home, and it can be barely at all to him, I fall apart (depends when and state of mind I am nudged or pushed). It is a delicate balancing act. I have to give hubs credit there.

Okay I'm kind of confused now, because my psychiatrist said that I DO have hallucinations... are those separate from my flashbacks or is my doctor full of shit??

flashback is a nicer term... My doc referred to mine as a hallucination and flashback interchangeably. But if you really want to dig and be technical you are having a hard time coming from your sleep state and flashing back. Kind of like a dozen different versions of PTSD. Evie, trust me, you are normal for this. There are threads of where we all opened up and we did not with our docs as we were scared we were looney. Docs on us all said normal for this when we did... We were scared of nothing as far as being nuts when it came down to it.