I have not been formally diagnosed for PTSD, but I feel very strongly that this is what I have. It negatively impacts my daily activities, and my bedroom is a direct reflection of that. I cannot make myself move during the day, because I feel like I'm dreaming. I noticed that I only feel alive when I put on makeup and fix my hair. Otherwise, I feel as though I'm stuck in some kind of stillness..where time does not exist. I have wasted many days because of it. Days when I had solid plans of accomplishing tasks on my house. I know that my boyfriend was annoyed with me. He always asks me what I did in the house, cause he feels like I'm just lazy. I just can't bring myself to try to tell him how completely unreal I feel each day, and wait for him to tell me how ridiculous that sounds. There's no way he could ever understand.I often feel unreal or as if I've just pulled back inside of a memory which pains me. It's not as if I'm thinking about the events, it's as if I'm there again. I'm crying because of how someone made me feel, and the pain is deep in my chest. That has happened many times at work, and my boss was startled when I froze in place and did not move for several minutes.
She came over and began rubbing my shoulder, to try to 'wake me up' from whatever was happening to me. Something could remind me of some painful time in my life, and suddenly I'm frozen in time. When I 'come to' I find that I'm either hyperventilating, or slumped over and not breathing. Sometimes my face is wet from tears. So yes, this really does affect me greatly. Not only emotionally, but physically as well.

I've known for many years, if I dwell on certain subjects in my mind, it does affect me physically. My job requires alot of strength, so if I let myself get in a position or rather in a situation that's going to bother me mentally, it's frightening.

Ptsd affects me both ways, mentally I have intrusive thoughts, inability to deal with conflict, the need to not use my brain,feeling like I cant comprehend anything more, i suffer nightmares, insomnia, and anxiety attacks.
Physically I can get run down, fatigued, I have pain to deal with as well as elevated heart rate.

I am always feeling some level of anguish. As a child, my stomach was always so tied up in knots that I ate very little. My parents thought I was rebelling.

So drank lots and lots of milk. And I think the hormones in that stuff affected me. I became really attracted to girls at the age of six.