Memories not coming back anymore- Am I done with that phase or should I wait longer to see if there is more to deal with before moving on? I need much feedback on this one!! i took a break from the forum for a little while to deal with the memories, but now they've stopped; i don't know if i'm blocking them out again, or if i'm just done with that phase of my healing process!!
Please help me!!

Josh

Josh, you should always work at moving on and forward with your life. Just do not let go of any skills you learned to manage symptoms when memories came. Mine pop in still. So do some others here. It can be a week or two between or months. I really hate it when I read a post and it shook something out of the cobwebs. But it is good for me and it is in small doses.

All those I have met here who had mental blocks and lack of memories at one point wanted them all to stay hidden and not surface. Then you hit a phase of if my mind has this stored I want it all out right now! Then it seems overall to just realize the mind knows what it can handle. So you get kind of used to little doses of memories that pop in here and there. I don't know anyone who does not still get another memory creep in through the healing process. It sets you back but not for long in the over all scheme of things. You just have to go back to your coping skills and go through pulling the emotions apart again to work through it if another memory creeps up.

It will feel like you are back at square one but you bounce back faster with practice. Keep moving forward.

thank you, veiled!! i will keep on pushing forward; on to the next step!!

Josh

Be well little buddy !!!!!! :)

Terry,
Thank you, bud!!
veiled or whoever else is listening,
I've started blocking out my memories again!! I look at this as a minor setback, but i don't know how to break this bad coping mechanism!! Can some one help me, please?
I DO NOT want to go backwards, but whenever anybody brings up painful memories or if they just come out on their own, i block them out, again!!
PLEASE HELP ME GET BACK ON TRACK!!

Thank you,
Josh

I do not know how well this might apply to you, but it is one of the things I have done to ease my own memories over the years. When you have a recall of those memories, do not think about them, do not try to stop yourself from having any thoughts related to them or punish yourself for those thoughts, but do not engage those thoughts after you recognize them. Do not respond to them more than you have at the point you realize that you have been responding to them. Just let the memory wash over you without latching onto it, let it stay as long as it will but do not engage it and do not suppress thoughts that spontaneously occur-just let them pass. Maybe this can help you get used to the memory and not feel terrible as you will not be acting on it, you will be simply watching it from a distance as long as it continues on its own, and afterwards do what you have to for recovery from seeing it again.

I would have a differing opinion as in dwell on it a bit. You have so many emotions related to that memory and why it went on block. You need to turn those emotions inside out and process them so they can just be a bad memory that is not the end of the worl when thought of. And that is going to force you to dwell a bit.

Josh, I am confused. What do you mean you are blocking again? As in blocking things you have already recalled you do not now? If so when that happens write your memories down and that way you have a hard copy and work through them on an emotional level. If they are blocking back out it may be because you may not have come to terms with it, and it is important to come to terms with them when they come up.

Best of luck.

veiled,
i still recall the memories that have already come up; i just don't think about them. As for the blocking, i am back to blocking the memories that are currently coming out, not the one's i have already dealt with. i still have gaps in my memory as far as the timeline of certain events!
I think that i am just so used to blocking out memories, that it has become the norm for me. i am trying to take your advice and deal with them; turn them inside out; it's just that i'm having trouble breaking the "habit" of blocking!!

Andre,
Thank you for the advice, i will CERTAINLY take it into account as i have not yet figured out a way to stop blocking things out!!

Josh

Josh I don't think you can consciously block on your own. It is in the subconscious that they are stored and in that part of the mind they are released.

I will even reach further that I think if you can come to terms with what you already remember and heal from that it is not going to mean all will come back to light. I have done a lot with what little I remember and feel a lot better on the incidents that I had blocked. I feel like I have overcome this and came to term. But the memories are still gone for the most part. You don't have to remember every detail to heal from it, you just need an idea. Now as far as the ass trying to set us on fire and the flashbacks of smelling smoke I need to work on more I think as I would not be having that if I had dealt with it I think. So I need to work past OK not only was he a sexual abuser he tried to kill us too or seriously hurt us. High stress for me I smell smoke.

But I think our mind if we just work on that we do know as fact and come to terms it will let out more that needs to be dealt with. Once you have come to terms you may not get any more. So far it has been a while since I have had a brotherly memory. I like that myself. And like I said I feel like I have accepted it as a part of my past and do not hold myself at any fault for what this creature did. I cannot control another person and what they choose to do. He was sick, I could not fix that. I can only work on fixing me now. And acceptance of the past for what it is and not what we think it should be goes a long way.

Hope this helps you a little just my travels. Good luck

veiled,
Thank you for showing me things from a new perspective. All the feedback helps, and i appreciate you taking the time to help me!! I am looking at my "memory issue" in a whole new light now!! Thanks, veiled!!
I'll keep you in my prayers!

Take Care,
Josh