Quality of Crying - No Relief From It

Andre · #1 22-01-2007, 09:30 PM

I have noticed recently that even though there are many occasions where I cry, I never feel any relief from it. This has caused me to wonder if what I have thought of as crying has actually been crying, because everything I have read about that refers to it as a release of tension. I do not feel that. Tears do well up in my eyes, and that is frequent. Often it stops there, and past that perhaps four or five tears before it is suddenly gone but I do not feel any better. I have been thinking of this as crying but is it really? Does it even really qualify as a kind of crying? What is this sort of low-intensity thing that gives no benefit? I have seen in films people being completely drenched in tears, crying for many minutes and hours but that seems almost like a different emotion being expressed than what I have felt. The times can be close together, but there is a solid break and that seems to stop any real relief from it. How do you get relief with this?

Claire · #2 23-01-2007, 03:53 AM

Hello Andre, it sounds like you are holding back. Maybe suppressing the emotions. Have you never really cried (like you mention in films). Were you taught it was bad to cry as a boy?

When I cry it is sometimes like you describe and no you dont feel any relief afterwards. If you really cry, then yes you feel sort of calm after. Unless its been a really long cry after which I get a head ache! Not recommended!

Andre · #3 23-01-2007, 09:03 AM

I do not know. Most of my childhood was part of the memories I lost from injury in my accident. It could be that, but since I have probably lost the actual chemical memory of that as well, would it still have an influence on me? I am not trying to hold back, it just happens. So there is a disadvantage on the other side as well. Crying for hours only to have a headache after, that sounds very unpleasant.

I think I remember starting to really cry once, when I had first regained consciousness in the hospital again, but I think that stopped fairly quickly as well

becvan · #4 23-01-2007, 04:13 PM

I'm allergic to my own tears, so if I cry (and it's rare) my eyes puff shut and glue up and I can't see for about three days. I have to take allergy medicine and headache medicine.. LOL . Very very strange and they haven't figured out why this happened (just the past two years this started) or if anything can be done about it. Needless to say, crying for me usually consists of my eyes tearing up. If it's really heavy duty, a couple tears will slip down my cheeks. I try very hard NOT to cry as the pain is unreal. Yep, I agree, it does nothing for relief.

bec

Andre · #5 23-01-2007, 09:52 PM

I have never heard of someone being allergic to their own tears before. So it can really be better for some not to cry. Bec, this crying with frequent stops is what happens when you make a great effort not to cry? I thought it could be something like relaxing more to let me truly cry but it seems like I must have some piece of memory that tells me it is not good to cry or worse. Since crying is painful for you, have you developed an automatic response to stop it or do you need to think about it first? Maybe I have made some connection like the one you made. How long do you think it took for you to develop that reaction against painful crying?

becvan · #6 23-01-2007, 10:30 PM

Ohhh I would say the first time my eyes puffed shut for three days and I had to go to emerg. Shut them tears off as fast as I can let me tell you! It's automatic now, but I never was good at crying in the first place, so it made it easy. I do have a really wicked, give you a headache, cry about once a year. But then I can't see. LOL can't win.

bec

P.S. I didn't know it was possible either.. but hey allergies are weird!