Hi Anthony you need to watch yourself with this you dont want to start going downhill to much as you know it is struggle to pick yourself up again.
You need to start looking after yourself that is advice I see you give to people all the time on this forum .
Gee what you are going through would be hard for any man PTSD or not. Take care of yourself Anthony hopefully something can be sorted soon before it hits the fan.
Thoughts are with you.
Jen!

hey anthony--
It is very difficult to make momentous decisions when there is no "right" solution apparant, and there are so many uncertainties involved. Remember that my advice is worth exactly what you paid for it.
I don't know Karrie-Ann that well, but my spouse tends to be very resistant and defensive when she is confronted. I have to push sideways with my suggestions instead of taking her head on. In matters of her recovery and healing, sometimes I have to be content with her jumping off of the cliff in the right general direction instead of giving her step-by-step directions on how to descend the cliff face in the manner that makes the most sense to me.
Take care of yourself first.
You can't fix her, only she can.
Try to establish some sort of communication with her.
Remember that your wife stood by you while you came to grips with your condition. As the mother of your children, even if you call it quits right now, she will still be a part of your life for the next 18 years, married or not, and there will be some interaction with her.
Try to give Karrie-Ann all the opportunities that you possibly can to realize that she needs to work on her problems.
Don't take any irreversible actions unless there is no other choice. There are a lot of lives that will be impacted by the decisions you make.
Good luck, I'm pulling for you.

I second that Jen. You be sure to take care, Anthony.

Jim.

I actually hate this quote here because for a moment i thought you were talking about me Anthony..... It seems that i have alot in common with Kerrie-Ann...
I dont even know what to say right now, i am in shock.
I hope she gets help because what she is going through is horrible. I dont like being angry all the time and i dont like to make it seem as if i dont give a shit about anything or anybody but myself...but she seriously needs help, she cannot help herself on her own, i can tell you that right now and im sure you have seen that. I have not been doing too well with finding a doctor yet (i go back and forth, want help, dont want it) so im screwing up but i hope to shine some light on you when i do get help because it seems that your wife and i are doing the same things in a sense...
Im glad you are taking care of you. Thats very important. At the same time while you are doing that i hope you have had the chance to see your kids....
~HuGs~

anthony you have explained in your first post exactly how ive been feeling for the last year.i put up a thread in another section and it seems pointless now as some questions have been answered here.
my wife is the same blaming ptsd and brings up the past everytime we have a blue about whats going on now.
im about to leave my marriage for good this time because of this.
i will be keeping a good eye on this thread to see if i can get some answers myself.
and i really hope something can be worked out for you and your kids.

Thanks all... I am reading all this and taking it all in to make the best decision for me, and my kids. For the moment, we are seperated, yet Kerrie wants a cooling off period, which I have rejected as I don't see much point too it, though whether reconciliation occurs or not, I do not know. All I know is that I cannot continue living this way, and I am the one that ends up sick all the time as a result, nobody else. So I am taking my own health into consideration for once. If reconciliation doesn't ever occur, then either way, I will be moving near kerrie and the kids at the end of the year so I can see them daily, and lots more. My life revolves around my kids... and I know kerrie is a good mother, and I am a good father, and will not ignore my children, ever... they are much higher than myself in my list of important things. See what happens I guess...

Glad to see that you are not going to curl up in a ball over this Anthony and being as postive as you can in this situation and moving forward.
Jen

Anthony --- sooooo sorry to hear about your situation. It is a fine thing you say about being there for your kids. Really hope you work things out. Too sad and Ironic that you and Kerrie- Ann should suffer the fate you are always trying to help prevent. Take care of yourself heed your own advice yea!

sending you good thoughts and wishes
Hannah :)

Hi Anthony,
just speaking from my own experience, I know that once W was medicated and calm and nice to be around again, I suddenly became the angry one.....although never, ever to the extent of what he put us through. But I was so angry that he had turned our once perfect marriage into such a nightmare and angry that he had lied to people about me to try and make me out to be a monster, and angry that anyone would treat me and my beautiful kids like he had, and sad that our wonderful, innocent, loving relationship would never be the same....and yes I took it out on him. I got angry quite a lot in that period...until this last blow out actually. I found even little things he did were not good enough, I was hypervigilant, looking for him to go bad again. I would withdraw my love and affection some days when I remembered and could not forgive. I think that whole process of forgiving the actions of an uncontrolled PTSD partner must take years and years of counselling before the trust is back enough to love properly. In the meantime if there is a ptsd relapse (like has happened with W) or some trigger....like your son moving in.....it is enough to tip the spouse over the edge.........Oh so complicated.

Your right Lee, but that is the spouses concern, not just the sufferers. For any relationship to work, BOTH people must move forward together, not one, not the other, both, and it must remain that way if the relationship is to remain healthy. Kerrie stopped this long ago with me, instead making decisions based on her own presumptions, without even asking me or talking to me, instead making her own assumptions that I didn't want to talk with her, or that I was too busy, etc etc... If its good enough for the goose, its good enough for the gander, if both want a relationship to work. Kerrie gave me an ultermatum years ago, heal or get out, I healed... what about her responsibility in this? I know and accept I was an absolute arsehole for years, not just to her, but to many, but I have pulled myself apart, still ongoing really, all to get better, to be a much calmer more rational person, to speak and be spoken too, not yelled at, not aggressively converted... both must do it. Kerrie had these other issues before she met me, as she exerted aggression to most people within her life, near all of her life, something bigger than just me or PTSD, and she has to heal that, I do not control it. I am responsible for some things, without doubt, but she has a responsibility, one which I am now at the end of my rope with. We have discussed her actions and the way in which she speaks to others for well over a year now, putting in an effort for a week, two max, then back to her old self, yelling and tearing into people, then just expecting everything to be ok, and an acceptable approach... wrong.