Twelve Rules For A Healthy Relationship

Each person involved in a relationship with another human being has an inner list of rules regarding it...
1) What they will do and 2) What they expect the other person to do.

The following are twelve rules which might govern a healthy relationship.

1) I'll face my emptiness, you need not fill me up. . .it is essential that each individual do this for themselves.

2) I will trust and I will tell you when I don't. Definition of trust: The reliance of one person on the non-verbal communication of another in a high-risk situation.

3) I will be there, you can count on me. If I can't, I will honestly tell you why. All I can give you is my word and you can trust my behavior. (Constancy is important).

4) I will tell you if I am leaving. I will explain withdrawal from you in as fair and as honest a manner as I can.

5) I will let you know my thoughts and feelings to the extent that it is possible for me, with honesty and sensitivity. WE DO NOT HAVE TO THINK ALIKE. . .Agreement is not as important as accuracy.

6) I'll be vulnerable with you as often as I can. I will let you see me as I really am, I will trust you.

7) I will disagree; I will STAY when I do and I will SAY when I do. Conflict does not have to mean leaving.

8) I will comment on my reality. I can speak aloud of what I see and hear. I will be true to my own experience and responsible for my own reality.

9) I will take the consequences of what I say and do. I know I'll be hurtful to others because I am not perfect and when I am hurtful, I will be accountable. I can say I'm sorry when I am wrong.

10) I will be receptive to giving and taking. Love is an investment. . .I will invest in you.

11) I will respect your struggles and have compassion for them as well as for my own.

12) My need for intimacy may be different from yours. Our individuality will be tolerated with respect.
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