Tired and Frustrated - My Child Moves In, Relationship Goes To Custard Again - Page 2

desert4now · #11 15-02-2007, 02:36 AM

She wants me to bring him into counseling too. Even gets pushy about it. He won't do it for himself, he certainly won't do it for me. She also gives me the indication that if I don't like how he's treating me than I should just leave him. I don't want to leave him. I went there to gain my own strength and instead I feel like she's asking me to do things I have no strength to do. I feel more zapped than when I went in to begin with. Today is bad. I asked Hubby to just stop doing one thing to me that I feel is verbally abusive and he won't stop. Says he can't. He says I am to judge him by his actions and not his words.

becvan · #12 15-02-2007, 02:55 AM

I would suggest writing down your concerns about the counsellor, how you feel and discuss it with her. She may not be aware that you are percieving things that way. Remember she is still human. She can not mind read and unless you are honest with her, she will have no idea there is an issue. I would suggest talking this out with her..

As for you hubby, get a damn tape recorder and record what he is saying and doing.. then later, when all is calm, let him listen to it. Explain to him how these Behaviors and Actions are affecting you and how you feel when he does them. Pick ONE thing to work on at a time. Encourage him to be open and honest about ONE thing you do that affects him adversely and work on it together.

bec

desert4now · #13 15-02-2007, 07:58 AM

Don't you see...he hears what he says already and doesn't care. I am the one who is to adjust and deal with it. Thank God he is not like this all the time but when he is ....I simply must conform or to hell with me. At least that's how I feel today. It has been a month of hurtful behavior this time around..longest ever. I am just weakened to the point of ...not sure what I want of can do at this point.