Good luck either way Paul.

Hi Paul,
Did your wife cheat? Or did she just get involved in this forum to have some interaction with adults who were interested in her? I am asking as you could be my husband right now. You can read my post in the spouses forum. I haven't cheated or been on any forums or anything like that other than talk with friends about things he was putting me through, but I know that when he withdraws from me and becomes and angry/nasty bastard if there was someone around who showed an interest in me and treated me nicely I would be prime for the taking. YOu just end up feeling so lonely and so un-loved. If you can put your hand on your heart and say that you didn't do that, then yes I think that it is your wife's fault this has happened, but if she did this because you 'blocked her out' or treated her like crap because of the PTSD I can almost say for sure she only did it because she was heart-sick from getting no love from her own husband. Hope I don't sound mean, as I don't mean to be, but I wish I could shake my husband at the moment. He says I am 'unloving'. I am unloving sometimes due to the resentment from what he has put me and the kids through and continues to do while he refuses to take medication.

no she didnt cheat, i was involved in the forum aswell but i sort of got pushed off the computor.
well thats how it felt and what youve said is exactly what my wife said.
but after ive been made aware of what i was doing ive tried my best to change but the same things happen,just not as bad as the first time.
it just feels that i cant get better if these things keep happening and she has said she wont stop socialising with these people so i dont think i have any other choice.

Are these bad people, or are you demonising them because you are jealous of the attention they are giving your wife, when you feel incapable of doing so? If all was well with you and your wife, would you be OK with being on the forum together? Do you socialise in person with these people or is it all online? Big one....are you in counselling, on meds and making a plan to get things right between you and your wife or are you just 'coasting' to see what will happen, and crawling into your 'cave' on frequent occassions?

most of them i get on well with it and i guess im jealous of the attention mywife gives them.
we were ion the forum together(i was a member before hand).
it is both on line and socializing,i only want her to stop talking to those who she has been around when she makes silly discitions.
i am on meds and ive tried to get things right since may last year but then ill find out she has sent someone that ive asked her not to talk to an email and then i crawl back into my hole,i feel why should i try when it seems she wont.

Paul, honey, I can hear that you are hurting and that you love your wife....it's just that things are not OK at the moment. Do you have kids? We find that the distraction of everyday life (3 kids, 5 pets and both working full time) hides W's hurt until he ends up exploding...not healthy. If you can at all do it please do yourselves a favour and get away from normal life together even if just for a couple of days. Go somewhere nice and spend the weekend talking about and 'writing down' all the good things you used to like about each other, then what is not so good now and try and work trough it....getting away from everything suddenly clarifies things. This is what saving W & I this last time, only a few weeks ago....

we have four kids and i think what you have suggested is a great idea.
we have sort of started to sort it out so ill see how we go.