Hi everyone!
Just a thought.... How many sufferers dread Feb 14th because they just feel numb? They feel 'something' for their partner, but is it love???? What IS love anyway??
Sufferers;
If you have to fake the feeling, just to make your partner feel good, does it leave you feeling even more numb than before,knowing you 'should' feel that way? And in turn, does that make you feel angry, because your partner 'expects' more than you can give?,'expects' more than you really feel?
Partners;
For a moment, think outside the square. If your spouse seems really angry and uptight on this 'special' day, try to think of ways to take the pressure off. We know we love them, the 'real' them. Isn't that what its supposed to all be about?? How about doing something nice for them, without expecting a reward?! Without expecting much of a response?
For more often than not, a loving gesture, a simple love note, and a sweet smile, given without the pressure to respond, can be taken away and absorbed later. And trust me, it will be remembered because it WAS given freely.
Ive written this in the hope that if even one sufferer is given the freedom to FEEL, without being pressured, it will lead to a more positive response in their interactions with their spouse.
And also in the hope sufferers will relax in the knowledge that their partner is fully aware of their numbness and who stands by their side anyway, and do something special to acknowledge them.
Everyone needs a soft place to fall, and some-one strong to catch them. It goes both ways!!
xxxxxxx

I feel the same about every holiday THEY SUCK. I feel bad for my family and friends BC I am a wet blanket for anybody around me. I can't help but let my feelings show even when they have done something good for me. I know I'm not alone here. Ryair, your a good person for being able to keep you chin up when it seems everything is falling in on you.

Hi Terry!
Tonka is a wet blanket too!!! But at least he is reliable!! I dont expect more than he can give.... but I wont allow him to drag down my mood either!
I usually wait until he is giving the world his 'death stare'.... and give him a little kiss and tell him he looks adorable. You can probably picture the look on his face!! Hahaha!!! That and an iceblock down his pants usually changes the mood!! (gotta be quick with that one though!!!!!!)
Stupid questions do the trick too...... something like; "If you choke a smurf.... What colour does it turn?"
Hope it made you smile too!!!
xxxxxxxxxx

When I went to a local chain store last week I found that not only did they have the infamous V-Day cards but also Anti-Valentine ones also!! I can't remember the card company but the cards were hysterical!!!!!

Thanks Ryair that helped. Heard it but damn sure didn't expect it.

Ryair, im new here an that explained some of what ive been feeling with my wife. I share my feeling and dont get a whole lot back. Then i ask her about it. Which would be the pressure. I like that, give my love uncondtionally. Damn that is hard sometimes.

I feel guilty that I feel 'numb'... I didnt really do anything special for today, I got my hubby a card.. I usually get everyone a little treat or something.. but this year, I just didnt. I'm sorry Ubu.. I know its hard for you!! I try so hard to explain my feelings, or lack thereof.. the harder I try, the more scrambled my brain gets.. I was so frustrated cuz I couldn't explain it, I'm glad someone else on this forum was able to. Thank you!! :frown: