He was away all last week, which gave me time to think about things..about us..about what has gone on over the last 3 years and since Xmas in particular. Plus I went to the counsellor on Wed. I rang him on Thurs night and told him that I was not going to live by The Rules anymore and I was not going to put up with his moods and his anger anymore. He either goes back to get help or he can move out in May when our rental house becomes vacant.

I showed him this forum when he got home on Friday night. I think he sat up late surfing it.

Yesterday morning all his comments were that I should be very careful what I post on websites as anyone could figure out who we are by reading this forum.....and I should get my facts 'accurate'...he is not abusing us blah blah blah. He is just in total denial that his moods and our troubles are anything to do with him or with ptsd.

That's fine, but I've given up trying to be Mrs Perfect Wife as no matter what i do it is never enough. His mood range now goes from totally withdrawn and always angry...to mostly withdawn and mostly angry.

I was supposed to meet one of the ladies from the forum for coffee yesterday but think that with all my well meaning friends asking about W and me I can't cope with anyone else wanting to talk about it. This forum is good as I can vent and then get back to trying to 'enjoy' normal life. Sorry about that, I am here on the forum antime you want to email me XX

Oh, another thing W said about the forum...What would a bunch of people on the internet kow about anyting when his psych is telling him he is fine. I have been with him to the psych who asks him how work is "OK" he's fine at work, and how is home. Of course at the moment he'll say 'fine'...as he has got us all tryng to be on our best behaviour or else he yells and carries on and punishes us by withdrawing and going into a hypo cleaning/mowing frenzy.

I hardly see my eldest daughter anymore....she can't handle being in the house. She hangs out up the road with an Army couple about our age who have 2 little kids. But she can talk to this lady and her husband is really nice. She helps with the kids and just hangs out.....with no psycho anger and stuff. I had a similar relationship when I was her age with an older lady up the road....trying to find a 'normal' house to hang out at. My duaghter is almost 16 and has 2 jobs (pizza shop and butcher), so she is not a little kid who can be controlled. She is not angry or angst ridden and does not hang out with 'boys' or bad kids. She is the best teenager a parent could ask for....and she hates her home so much she doesn't want to be here.....and he thinks that's nothing to do with him, or if it is...well bad luck....she has to do what he says or eveything will fall apart.

Of course W can not see that what is happening has anything to do with his behaviour. Although he has agreed to go and see my VCCS counsellor next week.

Hmmmm.... let me take a guess at the shrink! Dr Likely is my first choice, Dr Rogers my second, as shrinks that is. Both are ok, but neither one is going to heal a person with PTSD because neither have the time to really put that much into a patient. They both pump patients in and out, high turn around, medication check, quick chat to make sure a persons not suicidal, then on your way. Likely is much better though IMO than rogers, but hey, each to their own.

Nobody can fix your husband except your husband, and that is the fact he must acknowledge if he every wants to get better.