I choose resting. I'm a student, and I do do a little typing for someone and get paid for it, but it's not really a job, more like pocket money for an errand. If I had a job where I had to go in at particular times, I would not last more than a week at the moment. I managed 2 shifts in a bar last year, so other than that I haven't worked in over 2 years. The longest job I have had was 5 months, but I left that to go to university so t hat was my biggest success. I had another job I didn't mind, but it was boring. Other than that, I've had 5 other jobs I lasted about 3 months at most in before I totally broke down.

I have found PTSD REALLY affects my jobs, the types of job I can have even on a 'good' spell, and on a bad spell, which is usually at the moment, I can't cope with any job. I hate it because I feel like a lazy person and maybe I just need to be stronger but I genuinely struggle in particular jobs, like authoritarian workplaces, I can't cope I'm terrified constantly and feel trapped.

It worries me, as next year is my last year at uni., and then I really will have to work and not have the convenience of my parents house because I'm 300 miles away. So I really will have to fend for myself. So I have a year to get better! I guess I'm lucky that I'm a student, as it's socially accepted not to work as a student though I do find I get a lot of grief for apparantly 'having it easy' by those housemates who do work part time. I really want to get better so that I can work. After my degree is going to be the telling point of how much my PTSD is going to stop me in life... if I can't cope with it, I won't be able to continue with my career into psychology. I'd have to move back to my parents house - it's trigger happy there, so I'm not keen on that.

Actually... thank you for this poll. Realising this has suddenly hit me how I don't have time to mess about any more. I've got to get better. I've got push myself over my limit if necessary, because it's okay while Im a student, I can resit a year if I have to... but I wont have the option after my degree.

I am working full-time as a dialysis center social worker, but the PTSD definitely affects my work. Some days I just sit in my office and pray that no one comes in there because I'm so unable to focus. A few times I've had to shut my door so my coworkers won't see me crying. I would give anything not to have to work until I'm in a better place psychologically, but unfortunately, there is no option for me to cut back or quit right now. Luckily I haven't had to explain anything to my supervisor yet, but I get the feeling it's coming, especially now that I have a million therapy/doctor appointments coming up.

I mentioned this in my intro, but I actually went through all my years of college and grad school thinking I was going to be a therapist. I interned as a therapist during grad school and did well, but in the back of my mind I always thought, Who am I kidding? They're all going to realize that I'm more ****ed up than they are. Who would want me helping them? Someday I hope to be in a better place and pursue my dream, but it's just not possible right now. It's weird, because low self-esteem keeps me from doing it, but it also lowers my self-esteem that I'm not doing it - all my friends from school are working in mental health and it seems like I'm the only one who isn't. I went to a continuing education class yesterday and many of my former classmates were there. I ended up crying on the way home because I had to listen to their case examples and feel like a lesser social worker. I like my job, but it's just not what I want to do.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. I'm always too long-winded when I post here. :biggrin:

I have been on disability for 7 years for physical disability, but the list of problems was long enough to grant me disability before they got to PTSD so they went ahead and granted me disability. Physical pain goes hand in hand wwith depression and it can also go along with PTSD. I had a hard time dealing with the BS at work at my various jobs because I just don't put up with certain things going on, and that was a pattern I saw in my jobs. There's a certain type of environment I need to work in, just leave me alone and let me do my work and I will do the best production of all. Stand over me like a hawk and I will quit. If you are asking for advice and want to go back to work, I would suggest making a list of what you liked best and disliked most about your past jobs, and see if you can find patterns. Find an environment where your PTSD will not be triggered as much.

I think i have kept going sometimes and have felt/feel i should because i didn't realise that i didn't have to be doing what i sometimes think i had to be doing.

if that makes any sense

I've been off work for four and 1/2 years my doctors refuse to sign off. They are in the process of ending my work life. This is really when things are easily triggered. I loved catching people stealing it was the best job.

I am on disability for both physical and psychological reasons. Work and school were both great escape techniques for me. However, I got to the point where I completely decompensated...and there is no way I could work right now.

Work nights basically alone. I'm working right now! If I worked around people, I'd be fired ricky tic....

My hubby with PTSD not only works full time but does this in his own business which he owns and operates alone.

Not only that, but the business was set up (lock stock and barrell, including fit out, equipments, systerms, etc) only weeks after his trauma. There was a lot of help from me naturally, but the oither thing is that we did lots of it oursleve to save money.

At the time (until only a couple of weeks ago) I did not realise how remarkable this was for him. Unfortunatley all i could see were the piles of "mistakes" he made and let him know too. A few days ago I told him how amazing he was that he had achieved what he has and he cried.

Unfortunalty things are not going well for him at work. Since he is inavoidance mode and has moved out of our home, not wanting my help or input in the business, it has gone down hill quite badly. I am not even sure how badly as he does not want me involved.

He badly needs a good rest, but he commits to work he just can't do and then has to work crazy hours to get it done, and that's never on time anyway. So he is not able to take a break now or anytime soon that I am aware of. Plus, the bills have piled up beyond belief and they don't get paid if work isn't being done.

It's all quite a big bad mess right now. But like I keep saying, to hell with it, he is the most important thing, nothing else, not even the business. Although it would destroy him it if all fell in a heap I think.

To add, I have secondary trauma, and while this is not al all PTSD, I have personally found that as long as I can make it to work in the first place (which some days is very difficult or impossible, due to various states of depression or emotional exhaustion) it is the best thing for me. I love my job and my colleagues. They are all very understanding and lots of fun. When I am laughing at work I am always glad I made it in.

Although my concentration is pretty shocking some days, I still get a lot of satisfaction from it. I am told over and over that i am holding it together very well considering my situation and most of the time I tend to agree.