Well, my therapist said it. Got me thinking. She says it's not bad. Which I don't think it is. It triggered some memories and I think remembering is a good thing although it is a very painful process. Have any of you experienced this?

Very easy to get bogged down in this trigger stuff.

Ofcourse reading a newspaper about a rape or assault or XXX can do the same....or reading about someone else's XXX when it comes up in a novel, in a TV series or movie. Or if in the worst case it happens 'live' and I am the witness.

Short of people locking themselves away in a cocoon (preferably with a beach, cocktails, live music of your choice and your ideal other half) there is little that can be done.

Even then there is little to stop the odd nightmare or remembering what has happened again and again.

I find my main problem is actually before and after seeing my doctor(s), not because of what we discuss, as this is cordial enough, but the fact that I am there in the first place. It reminds me that X, Y and Z (people or events) have beaten me. I wouldn't like to call my doctor a 'trigger'. I'd be less than impressed on the recieving end of that comment.

Sometimes I avoid a trigger for a while, sometimes I feel like facing it head on and it works for me. Other times I need to avoid crowds, other times I don't...it makes little sense to me, I think it makes less sense to my doctor, so I am not sure I go into it in great detail about it.

Ultimately you will know; the main point is perhaps to look at what you are reading/watching etc. I cannot find a trigger in military PTSD posts as I am not in the military and never was. I can get a better understanding of what is happening to me and not feel like 'Freak of the Week' though, which has been invaluable to me.

eg Big deal; two nightmares yesterday; it's getting an understanding for them. I am beginning to find too that being killed in my dreams is having a lesser effect, it's perhaps getting to overkill, a bit like watching 'Return of the Zombies III', as they offer up little that is new. Wake up, curse the dream/myself, go back to sleep. Neither of yesterday's even woke me, they were just violent, no arms or weapons used. And this time I managed to break the grip of the attacker and pin the B*#$*d down. I have been thinking about that conciously, and think that might be the key to the subconcious getting these things out. It is the undealt with issues that lead to the triggers being there.

If I walk out the door in the dark it is unlikely I will be assaulted, if I stay in it is unlikely I will be broken into while here. Yet sometimes I still freeze, thinking my boogey man is coming to get me.

It's easy to end up using the forum in an 'OCD' kind of way, but it's easy to do that with anything else too. So today, I will try 'OCD' cleaning! There are labels for everything, only we can really judge for ourselves. Overanalysis is , not working through it leaves us , right now I am probably at :crazy-eye but at least I have a smile on my face.

Of course this forum can be a trigger...
it causes us to relate and learn about our illness.
Therefore... we are probally going to recall some bad feelings at some point while posting on this forum.
That is OK,
we can't avoid what has happened to us.
We need to accept it.

I find coming here is almost like therapy.
I'm forced to recognize the fact that "something" has happened to me.
And I can see that I'm not alone,
which makes this a safe place.

While you may have your therapists cell phone #... (mines kept in my purse at all times!)
I'm sure it's cheaper and easier to just come here and let it all out.
We don't judge here,
and most definatly won't ever tell you to just "get over it"!!!!!!
(besides, no one minds you posting at 3AM, lol)

When I get triggered by some posts here...
it is in the safety of my own home,
during a time when I know reading a "trigger" is a possibility
and I can sort out/or babble my thoughts out in a long winded post.

Thanks for your replies, guys. I think what my therapist is saying is that all my other memories came from some sort of trigger. The sound of my daughter's hands clapping = being slapped in the face. So, she was trying to figure out what the trigger was for my most recent memory outbreaks. This is isn't me feeling freaked out, or having a panic attack. I most likely know those triggers. But when it comes to my repressed memories coming to the surface (which I have no control over) there has to be two prerequisites in place. One, I have to be feeling stable and happy for a fairly long period (three months or more). Two, there has to be a trigger. She thinks this is the trigger. I think I agree...it's so hard to pin point it down when it isn't auditory or visual. This forum is more like an emotional trigger. Oh, I just thought of another one. In one of my recent memories, I saw my sister. And my sister has been visiting me and my parents for the past week. Well, that one was pretty obvious wasn't it?

Thanks guys....jogging me!

For me... sometimes just replying to someones post triggers me.

The questions/fears/symptoms/feelings posted by some members on here sound like they could have been writen by me.
I feel like I have found people that actually understand what I mean,
and even though different things may have happened to us.
We are all fighting the same damn demon!

I think you are exactly right in calling it an emotional trigger :)

I still believe that this trigger is of the good kind. For me, the more that is out, the closer I am to healing. I have such fragmented memories, that the more I know, the less confusion there is. Thank you.

Nam, I really wish I had your bravery. I dread the day if it comes that my surpressed memories become clear from my childhood as the glimps horrify me, but also find it strange that things I used to remember and knew it happened as an adult parts have just been filed away with those lost memories too. I hope to get to where you are in a zone to handle it.

I never could understand when I was at my happiest point in my life and bought my first farm and life was so good my world came crashing down around me like a house of cards. Maybe it was the sense of security, letting my guard down... I no longer did little things like walk with my keys in my fist and one key pointing out like a spike in my fist ready to strike back... goofy huh?

Nam... definately yes.

I think carp probably summated it about as good as it gets.

You can read one thing here which is PTSD related, but not related directly to your trauma, and it does nothing to you. You can read another post from someone who has suffered similar to one's trauma, and it could really hit home, bring up all sorts of tensions, anxiety and symptoms, as the trauma hits you where it hurts, nearly like it is your own.

It would be like putting you and me in a house, fly a blackhawk over the roof, it will affect me, but not you, vice versa with your trauma, expose us both to something related to yourself, I will get no effect, you will get triggered.

What we learn from exposure, is what triggers we can, and cannot, deal with and handle appropriately. Some triggers will always require some level of avoidance, some will no longer become triggers the more you are exposed to them.

Carp really smacked it on the head for me with this statement:
That makes perfect sense to me!

Triggers are not always a trigger, ie. helicopters can fly around my house with no effect what so ever, but a blackhawk, chinook, gunship, etc etc, military style aircraft, if they fly on my rooftop or near me, it becomes a trigger for me. So not all aircraft are a trigger, just military style aircraft, and not even all of those, only particular types that are related to some of my operations.

This is one trigger I cannot handle, as I was exposed to it for quite a while when we lived in Townsville, it affected me constantly, even as I got better, that one thing would still affect me. Other things that used to be a trigger for me, either have no effect on me now, or very little compared to when I initially identified them as a trigger.

Another example could be a person that got trauma from a car accident, in which whilst getting in any car was a trigger for them initially, they have most likely moved past that point to now driving again, though every time they see the same model car that they had the accident in, that triggers them. Doesn't matter how many times they look at it, how long they look at it, or even trying to touch the car or get into it, they break with symptoms, but can turn around and get in any other car and drive away.

Another person might look at it another way, and may only be able to drive the exact car they had the accident in, because the accident was so horrific, but they survived within that car, so that now becomes the only car they feel safe in, even though it is the same model car they had the accident in. All other cars are not an issue providing they are not within them travelling.