Okay so I am sitting here and it is 1635 hrs and there is a board meeting tonight at 1800 hrs and I want to go, and I don't want to go. I want to go to see what is said about any updates about security in the school, but I don't want to go because they are so useless and corrupt. We can speak at the meeting however, they will never answer us, its just a forum to vent. They snubbed us at the last meeting a couple of weeks ago and will continue to do such unless radical changes are made. I need to get on the ball and start a petition to Oust some of the board members, however it is lonely fighting them. Also, I do have a silent board member on my side that is fearing for her job, I cannot publicly utilize anything she entrusts me with, however its an ace in the whole for bringing petition before the House to try and get it on the November ballot to get a resource officer for each school. I have my work cut out for me, while I juggle my home, children, just pulled Logan out and started him home schooling, and continue with my job. My plate is full and I am feeling it. I cannot cut corners, however I am tired and it shows. I feel angry often and for no specific reason just feel pissy as hell. I am trying to organize as organization is the only thing that will get me through this so it is imperitive.

I will also add, yes the father in law is an asshole. NO Doubt there. He is rather an evil little imp who preys on stirring the pot and disrupting the life of anyone that he feels fit to torture any given day. However, He is Ed's dad and I do have to keep my emotions in check, however I have no respect for the man. And you wonder why I returned to the forum to get grounded once again, my life is getting ever complicated.

I am cranky as a mother so I figured I would vent a bit, however I am not sure why I am feeling this angry. I just am. I am tired of my kids fighting and I am pressured to keep the house clean, work my job, cook, home school the little one and I just want a break, not a mini break a real break.

I am showing wierd ass behaviour as I keep asking my son to do head counts on our house cats, don't ask me why I just keep thinking they are getting into places that could harm them and I am rather obsessed, but I cannot control the feeling. I even hear them meow and think they are crying for help at times, I hope this passes.

Medically I am still a train wreck and continue to take the barage of meds to help get my body back on track as I am not really wanting to drop dead just yet. The meds give me the shits and that just sucks too. My job won't let me use the restroom other than on my 15 minute break without a doctor note, I felt like an idiot having to do that. I hate my nosey kid trying to read this over my shoulder, however he is not close enough and he knows better than to get up close behind me. Okay I vented. Hope tomorrow is better.