We're here YA. We're here.

Thanks.... it's just ALOT harder than I expected....

s'ok YA. Take your time.... By the way, you are an eloquent writer. Your discriptions are like photographs in my mind.

Thank you Nam

That day is burned into my memory...
that damn apple... I seriously can't eat green apples anymore...
HUGE flashback!!

I'm so friggin exhausted...
Need to escape reality right now, so I'm going to go play a PC game...

I'll be back soon... ttyl

I don’t know if I even managed to take a second bite
Everything happened so fast after that...
...I’m still trying to piece it all together in my mind.

Bob was still going on about how great his new bumper was....
And I think I remember hearing my boyfriend saying something about “pushing a tree over”
(everything just happened so quick!)

I remember the sharp jerk of the truck as it flew into reverse...
We backed up seventy feet or so,
It was so fast...

I was thrown back into my seat as Bob threw the truck into gear... and floored it.

He was headed right for a patch of trees!
My mind was racing...
...I screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The scream was shrill.
But it did nothing.
We were still accelerating!

When we hit the trees (3 fair sized ones)
there was this split second where everything just.... paused...
The trees didn’t even budge.
And we were brought to a dead stop.

And then I saw the edge of the roof.
When it was at eye level...
I remember the clear blue sky being a sharp contrast to the rusty metal below...

...Then... a bright flash of red/white/black,
I’ll never be able to describe that hue of colors...
But that image still haunts me to this day.

I had flown out of my seat...
It was almost in slow motion... kinda like an old jumpy movie.
...Parts blur in and out.

Later on, I figured out that when those colors appeared...
That was the exact moment that my face connected with the metal edge.
...cutting right through the bridge of my nose...

I hit the roof edge hard,
Honestly I don’t know why I didn’t get knocked out.
(it would have made the entire situation alot let traumatizing!)
My neck snapped back...
And I fell back onto the floor of the truck

It was so insane!...
Like a bad nightmare

After the red was gone,
All I could feel was this horrible throbbing in my head.
I was in so much pain... my brain couldn’t even register a specific pain.
My head just felt like it was pounding... and my face...
Well... I’ve never ever felt that sensation before... and I don’t even think it’s possible to describe it.

I tried to take a deep breath... and I started chocked on warm liquid
I was so ****ing scared to open my eyes....

Jeez YA! I had no idea that your accident was caused by something like an idiot trying to prove how strong his car is!!! The word moron doesn't come remotely close, although I'm sure you've thought of one hell of a lot more words to describe the guy. Did you sue him or get insurance? I know that won't help the ptsd or other issues, but it would make your life a little easier. Please tell me you have insurance to cover the med costs etc?

This is something that makes me so angry about all of this - a lot of us have someone to blame for our ptsd, but there is no way to get them to pay for therapy. Instead we have to struggle to get by while they carry on with their lives. :cussing: :angry-fla :gunem-dow
Please excuse me, got bloody angry and this is your thread! Damn good effort to get that last post down. I totally get how hard it is to stick stuff in writing. I'm "forgetting" my nightmares again cos I can't bear to think about them to write them down. May well stick my head in the sand later too!

Voices were yelling...
Something about Mr. Bear being thrown out of the vehicle!!!!!...
... he was hanging outside the door side... his leash stuck on something inside this death-trap truck.

I opened my eyes and looked down...
And let out this blood curling scream!
Blood was pouring off of my face like a faucet... I tried to catch some it, but my cupped hand filled so quick it was impossible
Out of instinct I jumped up, and hung the top half of my body out the side of the truck

I dropped the apple out of my other hand...
That damn green apple....

I was spitting and coughing... and I couldn’t seem to get air.
So I brought my hand to my face... try to figure out what was going on.
My hand couldn’t even recognize what I was feeling.

“Look at my face!” I screamed desperately “It hurts!!!!! Look please!!!”

It seemed to take forever... I couldn’t really see anything,
Everything was spinning and my eyes wouldn’t focus.
Finally I heard a response...
“Holy Sh*t! Your nose is cut off! WTF!!! OMG!!! Hold it on!!!!!!”

I believe it was my boyfriend screaming...
Next thing I knew the guys had taken off their shirts and were holding them to my face,
Hoping to stop the river of blood... my river of blood.
It was useless... they had to get me help ASAP

Somehow I ended up in the front passenger seat, I think my boyfriend was holding me... but I had closed my eyes long ago (wasn’t gonna open them either!)... so I’m not positive...

BTW... thank you everyone for the support.

Piglet... trust me... "Moron" as well as many other "words" are used to describe Bob.
And about insurance? I'll get to that... it's a nightmare

Thanks again...
I need to escape reality real quick after that last post...
I've just gone numb, so I'm switching to a game and I'll continue in abit

This upcoming surgery is really messing with my head,
makes my "accident" the focus of my day...
....sucks....

oh YA!!! When this shit happens cause of someone else's stupidity makes it even harder to comprehend besides trying to disect it all....

Yes, I was thinking that you probably don't each much green things that you can hold in your hand.......(BTW, I don't like granny smiths anyway...)

All of this because of a stupid love for a truck, one that didn't have a seatbelts.....

GRRRRR! (We totally understand the Angry part of your name now......You are entitled.)

YA, what courage you have to write it down....
and what courage you have to get up everyday with reminders plain in sight.....

Are you okay after that last post?
Better now or worse?