well as you know i have my brother living with my son and I.
I love my brother but we have not had alot of time to get to know eachother as adults. He and I served in the service we both have ptsd.
I dont know if he gets on these kind of sites but i need help. When i got my disabilty back pay I took my son on vacation. we went to arizona to see my brother and his family. My brother asked me to loan him some money, i did.
he and i talked about me and my son moving to arizona and even went so far as to look for and actualy put a down payment on a place. i prayed hard that God Take control if we are not supposed to move there let the house deal fall. Thank God it did.
Then my brother asked if he could move in with me. I said yes. I am trying to help him during a hard time in his life. He says he is broke. He has an income but He is paying restitution for a crime he commeted in arizona. not sure what he did or what he pays to who. I take him back and forth to his probation meetings. He pays me nothing. He does nothing. I found out he didnot use the money he barrowed for me to do the things he said he was going to. He is starting to get on my last nerve. I dont want to hurt him but i dont know what to do.. i did not know what i was gitting into.

If he is paying restitution he had a victim in his crime. Is he at your house on the Interstate Compact? I would want to know what his crime was for sure. I am not one to hold stuff against people, but don't let him drag you down. Is it not a condition of his Parole that he obtain gainful employment? Does he have to attend any Court ordered classes. If you have questions, I might be able to help, if you want to know that is. PM me is you do. Best of luck to you.
T.

I'm sorry, but that looks likehe is simply abusing you...

I woke up this morning with a bad headach. my hands were so swolen i couldent put my rings on my neck and back hurt. i think it all stress.
mabie i need to stop and just try to take care of me and my son and daughter and ofcourse my grandson. i need to stop worrieing about what happens to anyone. not my problem.

i got a note pad and wrote I Need Respect, Love ,Help, Honesty ,Understanding, Compassion. I GIVE Love ,Respect, hoesty,concideration, impathey,rinancial security,compassion. I Do, Cook, Laundry, Buy all gro's, Clean, Yard, Pool, House , dishes, Pay All The Bills,Drive,make apointments.(Give) Im Trying to , Understand, Help up, Grow up,Support. I want Financial security. and left it out for all to see.
I didnt want to hurt anyone but i need them to see. how all this is affecting me. so far no one has said anything to me about this. and i slept better and my head dosent hurt as bad this morning.

Good for you, slhlilbit!!!

Sometimes you've just got to lay all of the facts out for everyone to see in order to make sure they understand and that your needs are just as important and everyone elses.

Being straight forward and honest is a risk, but it's one worth taking. Glad you slept better and your head's feeling better.

ok i just got a little freaked out over the name change. im ok im back.
i still need to talk just dont know what to say to him. i didnt think it was going to be like this. i didnt know how long with no help.

If he is trying to pay resitution for a crime he commited, I assume he may also be trying to turn around his life. Part of that is taking personal responsibility for himself and being a responsible person.

Also, for the sake for your child, you need to know what kind of crime he commited. He doesn't sound like he's entirely honest and that could be dangerous. If he's not truthfull about money you've lent him what else is he untruthful about?

that is true. that is part of my promblem i dont trust him. I have trust issues anyway but with the out n out lying its making things worse.
he has started dating so mabie he will not be here as much and i can handle this better. i think he needs to find someplace elce to live. as long as he is in my house i need to stand up and let him know i have rules..
i think alot of this is my fault becouse i let him come here without talking everything out. so its up to me to fix it.