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Welcome Cat!

You definatly need to find someone you click with... a therapist or counsellor that is familar with PTSD.
This is vital... you've already taken a big step by making that first appointment!
It's scary no matter how hard you try to prepare yourself.
But alot of the people (if not everyone!) in this forum can relate to what you are saying.

We are all struggling with our personal demons... no one can fight it for you.
But we are here to help, support, listen, chat with, whatever.
We understand what you are going through,
you are not alone.

I'm don't gossip either... to me there's no point.
I think the interest just isn't there?
Although unlike yourself, I tend to come off as blunt.
Which sucks... but I can only tell it as I see it.
So sorry if anything I've said comes offs as rude or too forward.

Venting on here is a great way to get your thoughts out of your head...
Looking forward to chatting with you more :)

Welcome Cat!

Hard to get out when there's a heatwave going on! Even here in the midwest (USA), the temps are near 100! and the humidity is over 60%....freakin hot. (gotta mow that stinkin yard...but it's even too hot when it's three in the morning!)

We are glad you are here. We understand what you are feeling. Some of us react a bit differently to certain situations and some of us react differently day by day. It just depends. Sometimes, I come across as blunt and forward, but other times, I just keep things to myself...(usually this results in more damage, however.)

We hope that you can find healing soon...and hope that we can help support you along the way.

Hi Cat,

Welcome to the forum. I am pretty glad you did find us, because it sounds like you need to chat with others who truly do understand what you are going through. Cat, you never need to apologise here for long posts or the like, as you do what you need to do, we all accept ramblings, long posts to get stories out, experiences, etc etc... please don't apologise for just talking!

You said in your post "untreated PTSD has returned far worse", which says this has been around you now for a long time. PTSD is not curable, even though some idiot physicians will try and tell you otherwise to better themselves. There is no medical cure for PTSD at present, though many good physicians are actively working on many areas to hopefully find something that does cure us. Saying that though, a friend I met through this forum does believe he has cured himself through becoming ambidextrous with music instruments, which has much merit in its application. So keep your eyes peeled for that research...

So your learning that PTSD cannot be left, because it comes back to bite you on the backside each and every time. We all learn the hard way, but we learn, and that is all that matters. There is no right or wrong when we are learning.

Its funny you know, in that trust is always an issue for us. It takes us so long to just become secure within ourselves, let alone allow others into our circle which could break our own hard earnt securities. That is ok though, and very normal... and you will learn to trust again as you get resolution to your trauma.

Cat, your doing great, and I really look forward to chatting with you. You found a home away from homes, somewhere were we do understand because we suffer the same symptoms, regardless how we got PTSD, the symptoms are the same. You have done so well to survive, so lets not give up on that strength of yours just yet ha!

Hi and many thanks for your welcoming message. .................................................. .Look forward to chatting with you more too :-)

Wow, that's definitely freakin hot! Anyone you know got a goat that can chew the lawn down instead?!

Cat

Welcome Sonrisa (Cat),

I just had to say that if blunt is your style, then you are in great company here. One of the benefits of this forum, I think, is the fact that there is little room for bs which cuts straight to the stuff that needs to be dealt with. I know a large part of the bs that my husband used to get re PTSD and I also know personally of the bs (surprisingly) that he used to dish out in denial. Even if blunt is not generally your style, you may find it a refreshing change, cause if you want sugar coating, you won't get it here.

Hi Anthony

Much appreciate your message. I'm very used to sorting things on my own, and not speaking or rambling or anything, but it's great to know that the option is there.

That's interesting about the musical instruments too. Was it in the sense of using and developing/balancing both sides of the brain?

Definitely it's been a big wake-up call that ptsd can't be left untreated. And it really made a lot of sense to me about it taking time first to feel secure with yourself, as traumas definitely knocked the certainties out of the arena. Have had to find a new understanding of 'certainty', but am glad to have at last realised instincts are a reliable guide and always 'there'. That's the main positive so far.

Many thanks for being so kind as to say I'm doing well. I look forward to chatting with you too.

Cat

Oh... your on the job Cat... good to see. You can read about my friends documentary of his self treatment at the PTSD is Curable thread. You may want a cut lunch and coffee to settle in, as its rather lengthy, though very worthwhile if your interested in diverse methods to get past this often depressing disorder we have.

Hi Cat,

I certainly resonate with a lot of the traits and characteristics you describe. You may feel like you don't fit in elsewhere, but you certainly do here! I especially like the way you describe that you feel that you've grown too much but are fragile at the same time. I find other people just sense there is something different about us but can't put their finger on it. We know truths about how the world can be, that most people don't. I think a lot of the things you describe can be seen as great strengths as you work your way through recovery.

As a fellow Brit on the forum, you have my sympathy at the threadbare NHS resources regarding mental health. I wish you well with it your therapy and support plans.

The fact that you're studying while dealing with all this crap is a sign of hope too. You are working towards a new life. Don't be withdrawn here. You've just made a bunch of friends!