I need advice, as I am seriously at my witts end with where to go from here.

My Mom was diagnosed with PTSD in September of 2004. Ever since then, it's been a vicious cycle of minor progression, and huge regression. She has been hospitalized numerous times and with each time I'm hopeful, I'm eventually more disappointed.

She has always been over dramatic when it comes to being ill, and when she had back pain, it ended up in surgery. She ended up having two procedures in less than a year, and was put on a cocktail of pain relievers, including methadone, percocet, dylodid and oxycotin. In addition to her pain pills, she was on numerous anxiety and sleeping medications.

She has stopped working (she was a highly modivated and powerful consultant) and doesn't move from her chair in her home.

She has begun having nightmares, but as soon as she went on disability for work, her nightmares ceased. She claimed a few months ago that she wanted to quit, and I'm starting to think that this is her way to slowing getting what she wants. Also, her doctor had taken her off of the high narcotic pain killers, but represcribed the oxycontin.

I feel like her therapist is useless, and her psychatrist is only prescribing medicine instead of getting to the root of the problem. She is very quick to give up in her therapy, continually misses appointments, and her thearpist allows it.

Can someone PLEASE offer up some advice on how to deal with this in a rational way...something that will allow her to progress! Any adivce would be GREATLY appreciated...

You can try to help and talk to her until you are blue in the face. Is she ready to help herself or sit on a pity pot and fight help? If she wants honest advice of those of us who have seen the better side and still relapse and fight this then send her here. But no one can help her if she is not willing to fight and hard.

I would not be so quick to think she is exaggerating symptoms because the stress levels can go down enough knowing you have assistance now to help curb some nightmares. It really depends was her current situation making her feel the same emotions as when she had to deal with trauma/s? Like helpless? What you feel at the time may just hit too close to home even if it is not identical.

Hello TX98,

I agree with veiled in regards to your mother needing to want help and change toward healing. But I also know from personal experience that a person with PTSD can seem like they do not want help when in actuality they are crying out for help. I think sometimes we just do not know what kind of help we need. I think it is great that you care enough about your mother to seek advise! Your mother is fortunate to have a caring daughter.

tx, Just my attempt to be helpful through identif. and sharing my pers. experience, with a similar situation, but not the same.

I had a long talk with my mother last yr., within days of her discharge from the hospital from her accidentally taking too much medicines, including oxycontin, sleeping tranq., muscle relax., antidep., and the more. I had noticed that she was having one too many accid., including breaking ment. at my home while on an overnight stay, and telling me that her missing oxycontin she had given to my then 6yr. son. Her frustrated words, "I gave them to ****, you told me to."

After I had firemen eval. her, and an amb. take her to the hospital and I spent all evening there with her while she was high as a kite, ....I told her in sincere and loving words, To get busy living, or get busy dying. That this was her choose, and that I or no one else could choose for her. I put up with an enorm. amount from her, and then with that break and her near con with those firemen (yes, even in that cond. she had a con), I saw that she had to commit to help herself, with no excuses, or go down alone. Since I was her only possible enabler in the vicinity, and I wasn't going to listen to her countless excuses, and since I was sincere, firm and loving she responded mostly positively, and has been doing rather well. She didn't stop her meds, but she stopped abusing them and sometimes accepting too much prescribed medicines all in conjunction with one another is outright abuse.

Once I asked her, Mom, why do you still take oxycontin for your back pain, and lung removal when that was 15 and nearly 3 yrs. ago when these were a problem? Does any of it still hurt, considering it would appear that you've overcome it all. I said, I mean, it's sensational you're completely free of cancer and the back pain I haven't once heard you complain about this in many yrs. Well, she said, that's bc I take all this medicine before I am in pain. It was the perfect timing, and I told her again, "Mom, get busy living or get busy dying." And, then I told her I had to go, which I did have to, and I went.

Some Mom's as loving as they may or may not be, feel and believe that they have the 'Right kind of excuses' to give up on their own hard efforts, themselves and life, ....really, really ....they don't.

This is only what I found to be rational and to work, to be tough, bc some people don't respond productively otherwise.

Up until this my mother had been landing in the hospital time and again, sometimes it was drug seeking behaviors, sometimes legitimate and other times it was bc she just couldn't cope another day with the combo. of med's she had going. Since our talk, in which more 'good' was said than I've shared here, she hasn't been hospitalized once, for that matter she's been engaged in a lot of her own interests and has been mingling days, with the others who live near where she does.

Hope

It is such torture watching a loved one unable or unwilling to help themselves. I'm thinking of you.