Hello. I searched the Net for a forum where perhaps I could share and discuss something that is coming to my attention more and more, that in fact I have to accept my peculialities are as a result of depression and PTSD or similar, and not just me being kooky and unconventional.

This has come as somewhat of a shock, and I'm amazed that I have made it through to this age (60 in June!) without facing up to this squarely and not making excuses.

One factor in this discovery is a recent divorce (after 30 years) and a remarriage to a man who actually accepts and adores me, so perhaps I am at last willing and able to open up to myself and not hide behind pretense.

Coping with this discovery alone would be harder to bear (and I've had enough of people through the years lovingly advising me to cheer up, get out and enjoy life more, shake yourself out of it, etc etc...) so I'm looking forward to some positive interraction here.

At the moment, I don't feel like making any moves towards improvement BUT I'm hoping that is a passing phase.

Tricia

welcome to the forum, tricia
cathy

Tricia,

Welcome to the forum.

Welcome to the forum Tricia.

Thanks for your welcomes. This is the first time I've joined a forum such as this and even just joining has helped (made me see there are more who experience things in the way I have).

I'm afraid my family and friends are far from understanding, although not unsympathetic. My own husband, who is genuinely loving, felt threatened by my joining here and was worried that "talking to depressives" would lead to me becoming one. (!) That hurt me.

I took my first positive step yesterday and made an appointment with my doctor. I'm rather hoping it will result in a prescription for anti-depressants but that is of course the "easy way out" and I suspect it will involve me having to talk to him or somebody and be "advised" and treated like a patient in a patronising way. Oh well. We shall see!

Welcome Rapunzel :)

Dear Tricia, You are so brave. Bless you for having the good mind that brought you here at this moment in time. I sympathize with you about how the comments to "get out more, cheer up, etc." really are more of a downer than anything when one is in the throes of this particular disorder. My hope for you is that you find much information and support here to help you. We are close to the same age too! Love, map9

Hey Rapunzel If you feel that your therapist is patronizing you,in my opion, you have the wrong one. Look to another. Your therapist should make you feel safe enough to tell him/her anything. You should feel comfortable with that person, be able to relax and discuss in plain terms what is going on with you and how you feel. AND meds are not an easy way out, they are thr only way for some of us. Without our meds there is no thelling where we would be. Personally, I thank god for my meds. While they zone me out sometimes at least I am basically happy and VERY much alive. One step at a time and it does get better, after all ya got all of us to help. Hang in there IT DOES GET BETTER I PROMISE HERC

Rapunzel/Tricia,
Welcome, If you are willing to get help...just willing...you will be amazed at what will come. I seem to have had many set backs with a partner who also feels this forum could be worsening my symptom...which it can if you see Anthony's sticky in the PTSD Chat about reading forum can increase symptoms. Personally, I limit my time to about 2 hours max in the am. I read and post that way I feel I am giving and taking. Balance. I think our discovery of this site is heaven sent. Perhaps your spouse would be willing to hear you and understand your desire to get well and maybe he will be willing to join too. Honesty in my book is the only way to go...it clears the brain for things that my failing memory needs to try and hold on to. The best to you. At any age we can change. Keep hanging in there.
Patty

Hello Herc, and again thanks. Actually I referred to my Doctor (GP) as I haven't got a therapist. I think perhaps most of you are in the States? I am guessing it's easier to get a therapist over there. In my experience it's impossible here, at least on the NHS which is all I can afford. (Are there any Brits here with success stories of how to do it?)

I'm going to the Doc on Monday, and am already dreading it, wondering what I will say, and how, and how he'll react. I feel like it's an admission of weakness or failure somehow, though I know in my head that is stupid. I have tried all these years to be strong and capable, so this is like giving in somehow.

Anyhow, think of me!